Friday, November 23, 2007

Y i hate U



rivalry weekend is my absolute favorite football weekend. sports are best enjoyed when emotions are high and bragging rights are on the line. (and a side of tortilla chips and 7 layer bean dip doesn't hurt.) of course, my favorite rivalry is BYU-Utah. it is in no way the biggest rivarly ever(i did hear one woman describe it as such and i nearly laughed in her face) but being that BYU is my alma mater, it is the most enjoyable to me. taking a cue from this blog, i created a list of things i don't like about the ewe-niversity of utah. while i cannot say that i officially "hate" utah, this time of year brings out my most intense anti-ute emotions. actually, my maternal grandfather played football for utah way back in the 40s, so i try to be civil. most of my animosity stems from football and the ridiculously ignorant ways ewe of eew fans hate BYU.
in no particular order:
1. utes who can't get over urban meyer. i despise his smug facial expressions, his "tricky" yet unskillful play calling, and his air of false superiority. but most of all i hate that he now coaches the hated florida gators and thinks that he is the bombdotcom.
2. "zoobie". this is the dumbest insult known to man. what is a zoobie and why is it so offensive? please give BYU fans a little credit and think of something else to yell at us. once i was at the university mall in orem and several orem high schoolers came up to me and starting calling me a "zoobie". wow, that hurt. it hurt so much that i have nothing else to say about it.
3. the utah fans' favorite argument against BYU fans is that BYU students are closely policed and can't make any choices and that they are forced to follow the honor code. hello! i chose to go to BYU, i chose to follow to honor code. and we can choose to go to another school if we don't want be there anymore. the honor code isn't this restrictive covenant that requires an ankle bracelet that buzzes whenever you approach the boundary of an acceptable BYU activity. i didn't have to revamp my lifestyle in order to attend BYU. it was the lifestyle i was already living. in my opinion, the honor code is more about keeping people that don't want to live a particular way out rather than cloistering people in. (and to clear up a popular BYU misnomer, you can wear flip flops on campus!)
4. utah fans also like to throw out that all BYU fans are self-righteous. this bugs me to no end. granted, there are plenty of self-righteous people at BYU. and at UVSC. and the ewe-niversity of ewe-tah. and at Utah State. and pretty much any other place in utah. having lived in several different places outside of Utah, i have discovered that self-righteousness is in proportion to population. i lived in the glorious state of Alabama for 4 years. while Alabama has the lowest number of LDS people per capita, there were still self-righteous people in all the wards i attended. including people that had never even set foot inside the state of Utah. and i am sure that even i have been self-righteous on a few occasions. that has nothing to do with my BYU degree.
5. finally, ewe-tah fans have this unfounded belief that their football team deserves a higher ranking than they are usually given. they've had a few good years here and there and have a decent coach. but put the yewts against any team in the SEC and they will get beaten. even Vanderbilt. it may be close, but Vandy would bring home the win. San Diego State is in no way as challenging as Ole Miss or Tennessee. and don't give me any of that Emerald Bowl 2005 bizness. Georgia Tech is by no means a Georgia or an Alabama or an Auburn.
now put that in you pipe and smoke it. oh wait, that's against the honor code.
GO COUGARS!




5 comments:

Anonymous said...

i like pipes.

heidi said...

heather, you are forcing me to remove the anonymous comment setting!

Paula said...

I like that Thomas has shown you the way of the SEC. Growing up with Paul Kilgore we were taught that the SEC is the ONLY conference.

Lachelle, Rob & Eliza said...

Well put! I was at the game this weekend and had to laugh at some of the comments I had coming from the Ute fans (You better repent, my tithing money is paying so you need to play better, now you can't get a temple recommend, etc). Granted my husband is not a BYU fan by any means - but I loved my years there and I'm passionate about BYU sports!

HappyNewYorker said...

I just love the way you put things. All I'll add is AMEN!