Thursday, October 18, 2007

powerade is thicker than water

thomas and i were commenting on sunday night that it had been a while since we had had any medical mishaps. i guess we jinxed ourselves. we really need to get one of the posters that factories have that say, "231 days without any accidents". of course, ours would now say "2 days without any accidents".

i go to the gym every week day. the ymca employees are beginning to know me by name. they anticipate my arrival and know a bit of my routine. now, instead of heidi, they are going to know me as "that girl they had to call the ambulance for." i participated in a spin class monday morning. after the class ended, the instructor and i did some elastic tube exercises. while i was stretching, my vision blurred and i had to lay down in the floor. i thought i was going to barf. and then i couldn't breathe. and then my hands and feet started to tingle and i couldn't move them. the ymca people thought i was having a seizure and they decided to call the paramedics.
the things that i think about during stressful situations are sort of ridiculous. my first thought was, "now i can't drive the kids home!"
and my second thought was, "this really ruins my chances for completing the YMCA football fever fitness challenge."
then came, "a seizure? this isn't so bad. i thought there would be more arm flailing."
and of course, "why is this happening? i thought i was in good shape! we didn't even work out that hard!"
then i thought "oh, exciting! i have never been in an ambulance before!"
and then i thought about my family. i totally freaked out when i thought about reagan and scarlett in the childwatch and i was scared to death to think of reagan seeing me with the paramedics because of his fear of doctors. then i had a panic attack.
the instructor called thomas and the paramedics asked me all sorts of questions and took me outside to the ambulance. they checked my heartrate and all that good stuff and pricked my finger(the worst part!) to check my bloodwhatever levels. by that point thomas had arrived and he was able to wrangle the kids and take care of me. and i wasn't able to ride in the ambulance after all. just another dreamed dashed. i was able to go with thomas, my hero.
it turns out that i had an electrolyte imbalance, followed by shock, followed by a panic attack. apparently i am an anxious person. perhaps you didn't know that. but most likely you did and are laughing right now.
the weirdest part was all of the people that walked by and gawked inside the ambulance door. like some people actually stopped and tried to stick their head in. just random people passing by. and then this one lady stuck her head in and asked if we could move the ambulance because we were blocking her car. for the love of cross stitch people! i could have been dying in there! sorry to ruin your day!
anywhooo, i am fine and all is well. i have been chugging powerade like it is my job and thomas has been the ideal male nurse. powerade tastes like homemade sin, bytheway. i went back to the gym today and barely broke a sweat, just like i was told. and everyone stared, just like i thought they would.

in other news- scarlett is a little rolypoly. she rolled over twice a few weeks ago and then stopped. now it is back on. my little wiggleworm is so advanced!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

palm trees, pictures, the problems with perfect pumpkins and other plosives

it's the most wonderful time of the year! HALLOWEEN is just around the corner! we purchased our pumpkin this week and i have been enjoying it immensely. every time i drive up to our house, i am reminded of why we have this very important and spiritual time of year: COSTUMES AND CANDY and all things CREEPY! i might as well be typing HEAVEN ON EARTH! the hard part is that i can't find most of our halloween stuff yet. only my halloween tablecloth and placemats. i guess that will have to do. no sign of our purple and orange holiday lights, or my jack-o-lantern platter or my gobs of cobwebs. just yesterday i was kicking myself for having a july wedding instead of waiting until october! just imagine! a bride and groom with fangs, a BLOOD red velvet wedding cake, dead flowers, a hearse instead of a limo, dancing your first dance to the monster mash! how could i have been so silly to forgo such an AWESOME opportunity? sometimes i just don't know what i was thinking!

anywhooo, it finally has gotten below 90 degrees here, so we spent some time outside. the kids don't really look like they are enjoying it, but trust me they are! they know the reason for the season and they are both as excited as me about this very important holiday. plus, they are sitting next to a pumpkin! they might as well be sitting next to a gold mine! believe me, my kids will be raised correctly!

our pumpkin, one of our palm trees and the offspring. the palm trees are my fave thing about our new place! who'd of thunk a landlocked missouri girl would have real live palm trees in her yard?

has anyone else noticed the complete lack of imperfect pumpkins these days? where are the lumpy, ugly, lopsided pumpkins whose disfigurement truly embody the message of halloween? are we such a botoxed, nip/tuck society that we need visually perfect and aesthetically pleasing gourds too? how do you make a scary pumpkin-headed man to sit on your porch to scare away non-halloween believers if his orange pumpkin skin looks like it has a daily regimen of Proactiv solution? it's a travesty, a sham and a mockery. a real traveshamockery!

also, on columbus day, we went downtown and enjoyed river street. it was good to know that if this whole mothering thing didn't work out, i always have other career avenues to explore!

one happy fam damly! cues the aaahs!