Thursday, February 26, 2009


blogs are a stalker's paradise. i commend all of you who have private blogs. but for me and my house, i am too much of a narcissist. i love comments and i am flattered by the positive things you have written. i value the friendships and reconnections i have made through the blog-o-sphere. but most importantly i like writing and i love writing about myself. i love pictures of myself. i especially love really bad pictures of myself.
truly awesome badness circa 1993

Elder M. Russell Ballard has encouraged LDS people to use the internet to dispel myths and falsehoods about the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints. hopefully my blog has shown people that LDS people or mormons, as we are more commonly known, are just like anyone else you meet; people who want happy families, who work hard, who enjoy the cameraderies of people of other faiths, and that LDS people have testimonies of our Savior Jesus Christ.

however, i admit i have made some mistakes when it comes to posting information about my family on the internet. recently i have found myself trying to scale back some of the information that i share about my little kidlets and our location in the world. it doesn't take a rocket surgeon to google someone's name to find more information about them.

so, if any of you out there in cyberworld would ever feel compelled to harm myself or my family in any way, let me share a tidbit of information with you about myself:

i'm a really good shot.

and i would not hesitate for even one hot second to drop you like you were hot.

and i don't mean dancing. you would never forget me.

don't believe me? click to enlarge.

pardon my REALLY ugly pants. this was about 5 years ago. those pants have since been burned. but the hat is truly awesome.

Friday, February 13, 2009

we are the champions, my friends!

the steamboat willies, my amazingly inept volleyball team, won our first match last night. sure, we have won a game before, but last night we SWEPT all three games. it was a momentous occasion.

what makes this victory so magical?

1. we normally have an entire cheering section full of children, husbands, dads, mothers, siblings and team sponsors rooting for us. last night we only had one lone spectator cheer us on to victory. lesta is now our secret weapon and no one else is invited but her. sorry fans, the taste of success is too strong to ignore. i want another bite and i don't want anybody messing us up. we are on a winning streak. try to understand.

2. our wednesday night practice was cancelled. we all came to this match completely unprepared.

3. i served the ball OVER the net MULTIPLE times. i only messed up because i got cocky. but cocky isn't so bad either because at least i'm not just on the team now to fill the roster.

4. i was called for an illegal hit twice. i was secretly pleased by this news because that means i was actually having contact with the ball instead of my normal technique of diving to the ground and completely missing.

5. bruce, our fearless leader and unofficial coach, was absent. we had to think up our rotation and strategy on our own.

6. the opposing team consisted of some of the oldest women athletes that i had ever seen. they arrived on one of those public transportation vans that drive old people around.(just kidding) one of them even had an oxygen tank.(not really) i spiked on her 3 times.(not true either, the only spiking i can do is with short hair.) we smoked those geezers.

7. due to illness and out-of-townedness, we were missing several key players. we had to go outside the ranks to fill our roster. luckily we had lauren she might have been a little more than helpful to our team. just don't ask her how old she is. and she definitely wasn't anyone on the team's daughter. those were just rumors the other team started to psych us out.

and just to prove to you that this is all real and not something that i made up, i present, the steamboat willies:

(photo courtesy of jamey's blog. i totally took this without permission. thanks for loving me anyway.)

and i am completely aware that my hair looks like i just rolled out of bed. that's just how hard i play. i am in it to win it!

Monday, February 09, 2009

weekend with a side of sickness, hold the phlegm please.

thursday- time for scarlett's 18 month pictures, since she is now 19 months. whatever works, right?
i wanted to surprise big T for valentine's day with a picture of his two girls. SURPRISE! we are both sick. thankfully hacking and coughing all over the place photographs really well and we pull it together for two good pictures. even the photographer couldn't convince herself to try and sell us the other poses. i think the words "hot mess" were used.

friday-big T and i celebrate valentine's day early. i actually prefer to NOT go out on valentine's. all our favorite places are overrun by making-out junior high kids. perhaps it's time to abandon the fast food places? we settled on culvers. we love it. great burgers. great fries. DELISH ice cream products. plus we had multiple coupons. they let you use as many as you want at a time. ideal for cheapskates like us.

who's got two thumbs and loves culvers?

this guy!!!

i got the bleu cheeseburger and big T got the double butter burger. i love bleu cheese. in fact, during no junk month january i found myself eating spoonful by fantastic moldy spoonful for mid afternoon snacks. what's that sound you hear? just our arteries clogging. you can actually hear us getting fatter.

dessert was chocolate brownie oreo concretes. size medium, thanks.

then we headed out to the picture show and saw taken. totally loved it. i was thinking lamesauce, but it was awesome sauce. plus, the theater was empty enough that i could sniffle and snot all i wanted and no one complained. saturday-had lunch with my madre(pardon my corpse-like complexion)

and then we went to the nelly don house for a tour benefitting the kansas city symphony. because we are classy like that.

and then we met up with my sister at coldstone to celebrate! heather had taken the lsat that morning. this was her impression of the over-achiever who sat next to her and finished every section 20 minutes before everyone else.

feeling right at home with the ice cream menu.

sunday-went to church and spoke in sacrament meeting. i may or may not have inadvertently claimed that moses wanted to sacrifice his son on an altar. i blame it on the cold medicine.
after church the whole fam damily watched gifted hands: the ben carson story. i love made-for-tv-movies and i bawled my face off. i am now determined to overcome my middle class upbringing and become a neurosurgeon. or a rapper. which do you think is more plausible? word, that's what i thought too, yo.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

no wonder no one liked jan(uary) brady

NO JUNK for the MONTH of JANUARY is finally over. i did it and it was great. the first week was tough, but after that, no big deal. it's good for what ails you, like the 37 pounds i gained during december.
breaking the fast with my two desserts: a bowl of chocolate ice cream sprinkled with m&ms and a dove square and a huge hunk of peach cobbler and some vanilla ice cream.
oh ice cream! i missed you. let's never fight again!