Tuesday, January 20, 2009

62 bucks

i woke up this morning to find scarlett's left eye red, swollen and overflowing with oozy, gloppy eye-boogers. after a quick(less than 90 minutes) trip to the doctor, scarlett has a presciption for the cold that is now living in her eye.

the doctor warned me that the eye drop presciption would be pricey. i thought 20-25 bucks? i can drop that like it's hot. totally worth it. my little girl has baby pageants to win and 6 foot tiaras to wear and she can't do that with an oozy, festering eye.


the $62 bottle of eye drops! YIKES! BIKES!

i am a proud brigham young university graduate class of 2002. so proud that i have an alumni license plate frame. however, i am seriously considering taking it off of my car. if you live outside the intermountain west, BYU means one thing-mormonism. and lately i have been having a slew of bad luck in my Es-Ca-Pey(it's high falutin' if you pronounce it like that) and don't want my poor driving experiences to sully the name of my church.

recently, we had a warm day and i took my car in to be washed at a local do-it-yourself-car-wash. luckily there was one spot where there was no one waiting and so i quickly pulled into the available spot. as i was doing so, i realized that i had just cut in front of two of the oldest people on earth. after i realized my mistake i tried to make amends with methuselah and his wife, sofia petrillo, by backing up and letting them go. they weren't having it and i know they were eyeing my license plate frame and drawing nasty conclusions.

plus, i have a nasty habit of only allowing one car in front of me when there is a traffic jam in a parking lot. some people really hate that. it only seems fair to me that no one should be able to cut to the front of a traffic jam.

and sometimes if you were foolish and pulled into the middle of an intersection while the light was changing to red, i will try and get as close to you as possible in order to let you know that i don't appreciate your stupidity. i believe that if you are scared that i may hit you, you will finally learn safe driving courtesy.

plus, if you are a teenager and are texting on your phone while driving. i will honk at you and stare you down. i am a pretty firm believer that teenagers should only be allowed to drive with their parents.

the end.

Friday, January 16, 2009

"friendship" tag is still my personal hell.

athletic competition and i have never been friends. the first time in my life that i became truly aquainted with personal prayer was in elementary school when i would pray for the ability to get through gym class unscathed. this continued through most of my public school education. "friendship" tag(read-fag tag) is still my personal hell. long jumping, rope climbing, pull ups and timed sit-ups should be considered cruel and unusual punishment. though i may love a good redneck, square dancing is not for me. and heaven forbid i play any game involving a ball. especially when they are flying at my face. volleyball and basketball were the two most dreaded gym glass activities. i always thought that our gym teacher, mrs. mccormack, had a diabolical streak to her. she would assign kids to teams and then sit back in her wheeled desk chair and chug coffee and eat little debbie snack cakes while i braved the peril of team sports. the resentment still burns within me today.

this being known, it should shock the socks off everybody that i am currently on a volleyball team. for real. we are called the steamboat willies and we are comprised of 9 lovely and talented ladies from church. last night was our second game. it must be noted that last night should be considered our first game as last week we somehow ended up in the A league. thanks to our team leader rochelle's torn ligaments in her foot(really) mercy was shown on us and we were moved to the B league. more like the D+ league. we fit in much better over there.
i asked my sister to take a few pictures for the blog and of the 3893 pictures she took, these few are the only pictures that are post worthy. i should have known that she would take advantage of my game ready crouch. most of the other pictures are close ups of my backyard. not exactly the view i was going for.

a few pictures of the caboose are helpful. most of us really don't know what we look like from behind. everyone should have a picture or two to know if you should wear a pair of pants again.

obviously these pants do nothing for me. or my volleyball skillz.

i plan on sending this picture to mrs. mccormack with the caption:
it's a lot easier to serve a ball over the net when someone is not barking orders at you from a wheeled desk chair.
unfortunately i only served over the net twice. my strength really lies in other areas. like sitting in a wheeled desk chair eating little debbie snacks.

the opposing team had it's own resident celebrity, jamie lynn spears, sporting the grey sweatshirt. i didn't know she was a jayhawks fan. i made it heather's personal mission last night to get a picture of jamie lynn from the front. this was as good as she could do. apparently she was too busy taking pictures of my derriere.

reagan wasn't too thrilled with having to sit at the rec center in his pajamas on office/scrubs/30rock night.

ps- we actually won one of our three games last night. tender mercies indeed.

Monday, January 12, 2009

my twelve loves of christmas 9-12

yeah, so i'm still posting about christmas. but this is the last post on the subject. then i'll be back to my regularly scheduled blathering.

9. watching bowl games and movies and "very special" christmas programming on tv.
(my beloved crimson tide playing like smell-o-vision against the my least favorite team ever,ever,ever, utah.)

i only wish that the powers that be would have shown my personal fave, "a very brady christmas".

10. the powers that be did grant thomas a little bit of time off to spend with us. books were read. messes were made. giggles were heard. general merriment was made.

and big T did have the most outstanding(and paycheck earning) talent at the talent show, presenting the six key causes of the credit meltdown in less than two minutes. how many of you can do that? there were no pictures taken because i was in utter shock at his financial whiz-iness.

11. visiting the Christus statue and the display of nativities at the independence visitor's center. there were over 300 nativities on display and my children didn't touch a single one of them.

12. i received my first nativity set ever. i love it. it is from my aunt ana in texas. i cried when i opened it. i have wanted one of these for so long. how do you teach your children the true meaning of christmas without a nativity?

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

my twelve loves of christmas, 5-8

5. family talent(or untalent) show

heather and mom played something wonderful,

steve and sarah amazed us with their guitar and singing talents. they were so good that i was embarassed to go next.

i busted out the violin and played the theme from schindler's list. because that just screams merry christmas.

mark and dad did a combo number with david holding the music. that david is so talented.

6. reading the christmas story in luke 2.


7. eating/family time-they are pretty much the same thing

this is what happens when you can't read and you decide to make pancakes and haven't showered and have your picture taken with your sarah palin glasses:
huge pancakes and a greasy, scary face. just like denny's!

scarlett eating ice cream. and then pouring it on her head. i don't like to brag, but she is definitely my daughter.

what everyone did whilst mother, heather, thomas and i slaved away preparing the meals!

reagan couldn't take anymore family time. he was unrevivable.

and this picture is just funny. feel free to slap your knee.
artistic, photojournalistic and realistic.

Monday, January 05, 2009

my twelve loves of christmas, 2-4

2. slipper socks. it is not christmas until i open a pair from my mother. this has been a tradition for as long as i can remember. except, when i was little i received booties. but not booty, mind you; a little junk in the trunk was not on my christmas list. too bad i got some anyway. santa is so generous. pirate booty would be fun too.

3. holiday parties. big T and i went to a sooperfun party where we were taught to make sushi. i was a pro. next time i go to a pet shop, those fish better watch out. raw fish are no match for me. plus, i got to wear my fantasticamazing chinatown top!

4. gingerbread houses. don't let that box fool you, this house was made from scratch.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

my twelve loves of christmas, number 1

my christmas card door!!! few things make me more excited than posting my christmas cards on the door in my living room. especially christmas letters. the longer and more detail oriented the better. (except for the one time i read about sister X's decision to finally stop breastfeeding after nearly 17 straight years. different children, of course. breastfeeding a 17 year-old would take forever.) i take great pleasure in reading the 7 page, 10 point font discourse of your family activities from the past year. seriously. i experience unreal glee as i tape the letter with the *gasp* picture card next to it onto my door. what did we do before picture cards??? sometimes when the kids are asleep and i am enjoying the glow from the christmas tree and a hothothot cup of cocoa in my 54 oz mug, i will wander over to the door and stare. i'll reread your funny witticisms and take notes of ideas that i will steal from your letters so that i may covertly slip them into my letter for next year. i'll rearrange the cards for a more aesthetically pleasing layout. occasionally, i will shed a tear. christmas is a truly magical time of year. and it makes me rhyme without even trying. thomas usually has to ask me to take the card display down. by march the cards are drooping and many of you have already added more children to your flock. and then i start anticipating next years cards.