Friday, October 31, 2008

how halloween was ruined in 1984 or happy heatherween!!!

picture this: halloween eve 1984, my dear, sweet mother is 13 months pregnant and just wants to have this baby. her ob/gyn schedules her to deliver on november 1st and needs to report to the hospital on october 31st, halloween night. my dear, sweet, somewhat saucy, grandma bonnie is called in to take myself and my two brothers trick or treating around the 'hood. after about 4 houses and 13 minutes of trick or treating, grandma bonnie calls it a night and takes us kids home. it was the world's shortest night of trick or treating. my tiny four-year-old heart is broken. the next morning my baby sister heather is born. needless to say, after the debacle from the night before, i was not excited about her birth. thank goodness that was the only halloween that she ruined. she has only improved with age. happy heatherween!!!

just a typical sunday around here, heather chillin' with her entourage.

things i like about heather:

H er sense of humor skillz

E xcessive burping ability

A ble to play the piano better than anybody else in the world, even me. and she has perfect pitch. and that is impressive.

T akes the Gospel seriously

H it a guy in the stomach with a closed fist in the church foyer because he was a big jerk.

E veryday she gets more and more beautiful

R uns likes the dickens. and she has a really funny video blog.

this was not a professionally decorated cake. just me! can you believe it! no joke! i call it shabby chic cake making. the worse it looks the more artsy it is.

i forgive your for ruining halloween 1984.

halloween 2008
el presidente the sheriff and littlebigmouth as miss scarlett

the inspiration for scarlett's costume.

a short list of things you should not say to me about this costume or i will give you the stink eye:
1. "scarlett o'hara, was she a star wars character?"
2. "is your son ashley wilkes?"
3. "oh, a cowboy and a cowgirl!"
4. "i can't believe you made her wear that."
go bulldogs. and before you get all excited, i carved the georgia pumpkin, not thomas.
one of these things is not like the other. can you guess who?

and finally, saturday, november 1st is the georgia-florida game, the biggest rivalry of all time. ALL TIME. kick off is at 3:30pm. please do not call or disturb our home during this time.

go bulldogs. boo gators. especially you urban meyer. i despise you. the end.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

eye spy

kiosks at the mall usually mean one thing to me. all. out. avoidance. whether it be blinged out cell phone covers, faux grills(for your teeth) and rhinestone studded belt buckles, caricature artists, mediterranean sea salt skin care products with the EVER persistent sales people who you have to pretend to be on your phone having a life-shattering conversation with someone to get by them without them groping you, lifetime warranty siding for your house, ceramic flat irons and my personal fave- legal advice, i'm not interested. and that was one LOOOOONG run-on sentence. i never claimed to be a literary genius.

anywhoooo, the one thing a kiosk at the mall does offer that i was definitely interested in is eyebrow threading. i read an article in the paper about the proprietress of the kiosk and i thought i would try it out. apparently in places like india eyebrow threading is the only way to go. and since i think indian women are the most beautiful women in the world and i hope to be one someday, i thought i would give it a try.


seriously, tyra banks should be hunting me down right now. that picture is the true definition of FIERCE! no halloween costume needed here folks! fierce with a side of red bull. does red bull need a spokesmodel? does anyone over 23 even drink red bull?

THE PROCESS or as my SIL ,sarah who speaks beautiful canadian, would say, THE PRO-CESS:

yes, you are seeing that picture correctly. she is using common sewing thread from wal-mart that she probably picked up for 89 cents. i thought it was a minimally painless process. you lay back in a chair, she says her magic threading words, she runs a thread across your brows, or forehead, or chin or moustache area(not that I need that, but you might) and voila!!! beautifully shaped brows.
note- my good luck horseshoe necklace on my decollete.

15 bucks and 5 minutes later:


the pros- quick, incredibly accurate, lasts for 4 weeks, inexpensive, minimally painless. you can feel each individual hair being pulled out, but it is so fast.

the cons- it's a kiosk at the mall. if you go midday, every high school drop-out and grandma in the tri-city area stares at you. she only accepts cash.

i highly recommend it.


gas is now $1.99 here. can anyone else match or beat that???

and thanks to all TWO of my dear friends and blog readers who completed my tag. i am feeling the love. where is the nearest cliff?

Thursday, October 23, 2008

heidi's tag of your life

i am feeling so posty tonight and i have much to report. 2 WORDS- eyebrow threading! and then a price- $2.21! that's how much a gallon of gas is going for now 'round these parts. can you believe it??? just slap me and tell me it is 2003 again. unfortch, i can't seem to load any pictures from this past week in order to further expound upon these two topics! so, what a better opportunity to create my own tag. these are some of my favorite tag questions of all time with a few of my own personal treasures thrown in there. there is only one rule, if you have already read this far, you must complete this post on your own blog. the end. the knowledge of you not completing this tag will haunt you forever. and ever.

church calling you would HATE to have- nursery, cub scouts, compassionate service has never been my thang.

saying you say the most often- SHUT UP! barf on my face, hell's bells. i love to say that. people look at your like you are swearing up a storm. for real.

saying you hate to hear other people say- chillax, mostly just incorrect grammar like the incorrect usage of me and i, she or her, or your and you're.

most rotten thing you did today- spanking, screaming, telling reagan "no" to the cars movie for the trillionth time, giving the stink eye to people at the gym who are on MY MACHINE. i wish there was a place for me to put my name on my treadmill so that other people don't get confused. this list could go on forever. allowing littlebigmouth to leave goldfish crackers all over the floor at old navy, not showering until nearly 4pm, making and eating doublychocolate cookies right before dinner.

explain the fourth picture in the fourth folder on your computer- this pic is from this time last year at wormsloe in savannah. we were taking a family picture for our christmas card and my gal heather was in town and she was playing photographer. obviously she is a natural talent. check out the subtle nuance of this action shot. every inhibition i felt about wearing an empire style dress so soon after giving birth was fully realized.
a picture you have of people you don't know-
you've gotta enlarge this one!!! worth it!
VIVA MEXICO!!! i knew that if i held onto this shot long enough it would come in handy.
secret dream- punching people. i just want to do it. right in the kisser. but not just anyone. they've gotta deserve it. if i ever ran into that one person who made everyone miserable in junior high i might just go for it!

favorite place to spend money- of late, ebay! this is my latest purchase. a gone with the wind christmas ornament for $3! don't be jealous!
sort of ugly close up, but it's all mine baby!!! it will be a spectacular christmas 'round these parts!!!

personal indulgence- yeah, i don't really have one. perhaps not using coupons on some things? sometimes i pay full price for cascade dish detergent and it feel a little naughty. i'm such a martyr. or, if i am feeling really wild i will buy crunchy corn bran. it's like 4 bucks a box and it is only available at hy-vee! it is so good and keeps everything running so smoothly. wink wink.

least favorite celebrity- just one??? lindsay lohan, flavor flav, but probably the most awfullest pseudo-celebrity is speidi. creepy, flesh colored beard says it all...
gahh, what a waste of oxygen. barf on my face!!!(there's that phrase again!)

girl crush- gwen stefani, hilary duff, misty may-treanor and kerri walsh, celine dion is my queen, heidi klum, laura bush...tina fey

3 goals, 1 long term, 1 day to day, 1 silly-

1. complete a triathalon or a half marathon

2. run 5 miles tomorrow morning(barf on my face!)

3. be brave enough to put a bikini on this 2 baby body and wear it somewhere. not like the grocery store. but a private beach that no one visits that i own one day.

3 things you collect or obsess over-
1. old movies-TCM is my favorite channel. i'm watching hands across the table right now. LOVE IT! i have about a gabillion hours worth of old school movies saved up in my dvr queue. and white decor anything- especially silhouettes

don't you just want to lay on that bed and read high-brow literature?

3. GWTW stuff(no doi, right?)

the end. now it's your turn. and this includes YOU! you know who i'm talking about. own up to it!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

everybody loves a booty girl!

one winner. 655 losers. and i eat losers for breakfast. with a side of cheese grits. and sometimes the winner doesn't finish 1st. she finishes 137th with a new personal best of 27:07. 5th in her age group. let the boastful speeches begin. you want it and i'm serving it. with a shake.

pre-race. everybody loves booty shorts. they make you run faster. though utterly tasteful, i thought mine were a touch too short. check out the teenage skanks that slipped into the picture with me and made me look like a modest prude.

my personal cheering section. littlebigmouth mostly cheered for the free donuts they were handing out. el presidente was cheering for the football lights at the stadium. thank goodness legaleagle had his blackberry to keep him occupied.

take a gander at my romanian-pre-teen-gymnast hairstyle. i think i had eight hair barrettes in total. all i needed was some spray glitter for my hair and a too small long-sleeved leotard that rode up in the back i would have been set. i'm not one of those runners that can handle their hair touching them at any time. it ruins my concentration and focus. plus, it's extra gymnasty(my new word) because i am stretching while balancing on the curb. gold medal-tastic.

the purple circle is me. the red circle is my time.
holla at my boy!(tim gunn)

and so this completes my 2008 three road race goal. what have we learned kids?

1. you don't have to have any athletic abililty whatsoever to be a runner.

2. i now consider myself an athlete and i walk with a jock-swagger wherever i go.

3. is that it?

and one for all the baby's mama's mamas. that's you grandma and mimi.
reagan's soccer team is like herding cats. 10 three year old's who can't listen to save their lives.

balancing the ball on one hip, while the other hand was nonchallantly placed on the other hip and smiling at the same time was almost too much to ask for.

and don't get me started on the team picture.
the end. fancypants out!

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

gone with the awesome!

if you read my blog courtesy of bloglines or google reader and normally don't actually pull up my blog, pull it up today! i have a fantastic new header lovingly handcrafted by my AMAZING dear friend, emily. i cannot get over her incredible creativity. she knows me so well. check out the awesomeness!

Monday, October 06, 2008

you love me, you really love me!

i was given an i love your blog award by the fabulous meredith! in order to accept this illustrious award, i need to complete the following tag, while only using ONE WORD ANSWERS! yikes! bikes!!! can it be done? i am usually a bit wordy! let's roll!

1. Where is your cell phone? near
2. Where is your significant other? downtown
3. Your hair color? perfect
4. Your mother? perfecter
5. Your father? missionary-oriented(hyphens make it one word)
6. Your favorite thing? jokes
7. Your dream last night? sneaky
8. Your dream/goal? self-sufficient
9. The room you're in? officenook
10. Your hobby? running
11. Your fear? insignificance
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? 34
13. Where were you last night? dreamland
14. What you're not? serious
15. One of your wish-list items? abs
16. Where you grew up? bluesprings
17. The last thing you ate? apple
18. What are you wearing? sequins
19. Your TV? old
20. Your pet? clean
21. Your computer? on
22. Your mood? pensive
23. Missing someone? grandmabonnie
24. Your car? garage
25. Something you're not wearing? anything
26. Favorite store? ice cream
27. Your summer? cool
28. Love someone? duh
29. Your favorite color? black
30. When is the last time you laughed? recently
31. Last time you cried? recenterly

hot snot, we're back in business!

who can name the movie referenced in my post title???

october is finally upon us!

the week started out with a bang. more like a barf. reagan got the flu on tuesday. it was his first sick day from school. to make the most out of it, he accompanied scarlett and me to the doctor's office for her 15 month check up and made the visit extra special by throwing up all over the office. i know the staff is looking forward to us coming back soon, and reagan is no respecter of persons. i was hit in the downpour.

this is how he spent most of the day.

on saturday the whole fam damily went to a "pumpkin patch"(more like someone's big backyard with a barn and some pumpkins and they charged an exorbitant admission).

i milked a cow. even though it was fake, it was still gross.

i wore inappropriate, but fantastic shoes.
we perused the pumpkin selection.

we took test shots for our christmas card.

i love this yawn picture. it's just funny.

this particular part of the "farm" was disturbing. it was a giant air-filled contraption that resembled a gigantic tapeworm. the kids climbed in the mouth...
...and they exited here. at the end. it was gross. like a science class right up close.

and my halloween seasonals are up!!! okay, they have actually been up since mid-september, but some people at my house think that is weird. i just like to get my money's worth

the most wonderful time of the year!!!

and my most favorite event of the week was general conference. for those not in the know, general conference is the bi-annual conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. the uplifting words are my balm of gilead; they soothe my soul and buoy me up in hard times. my favorite speaker was elaine dalton. click on her name for a good listen! she looked AWESOME and her words spoke straight to my heart. and i was loving the black bows around her neck. so chic!
the will to win means nothing without the will to prepare.

and the most shocking news of the conference was the announcement of a temple to be built in the greater kansas city area. oh the joy that fills my heart! i cannot begin to describe my elation at this news. i had to listen to the announcement three times before it truly sank in. i was so taken by surprise! i had always written off the possibility of a temple in this area in the near future. just two weeks ago we dedicated our new stake center(large regional church building) in the area and now this. we are so blessed. seriously.
i have heard rumors of where the temple will be built, but i prefer to play location speculation! i can think of a few areas just down the road from my house that i think would be perfect locations! hurray!