Sunday, January 08, 2017

the year i started filling in my brows and other developments

resolutions update:

running: running went well last year during the summer and especially during the fall but i couldn't figure out a half marathon that would work for my schedule. so, there's that. mileage goals met but no official half marathons. just a christmas 5k.  

small choices mean a different direction with a huge impact: 
these people read the the book of mormon as a family. we set the goal. we read a little every day. we did it. and now we're going to do it again. and then again. it wasn't easy but it also wasn't hard, like anything worth doing. our family is stronger and i'm grateful for my kids who made sure were kept going. do you want answers and to feel the Spirit and to have a chance to really talk scriptures with your children? make this your goal this year.

Book of Mormon finishers!

i was nowhere near where i'd hoped to be on squats, but i was consistent and learned a ton(punny) about form and ability and embracing beautiful, thick thighs. currently at 115x10. squat goal for the year: 135x10. 

i ate zero potato chips. feel free to roll your eyes but that's an accomplishment.

no junk january- check. no fun but neccessary and worth it. 

i never went to bed at 10:30 unless i was sick. it's  11:19 right now and i know where i should be but here i am. here i am.

said yes to being fun yet i was still punished with a lot of errant poop. sometimes from the kids.

i said no to a lot of people wanting me to do things. it felt great. i said yes to enough things too.

one development that was not a resolution but a happy accident was my attempt at slowing down on my makeup application. splitting the atom is next. i watched a bunch of youtube videos about makeup whilst prego with hersch and i just kept trying to hone my craft. this year i ventured in filling my brows without looking like tom selleck's mustache took up residence on my forehead. (but could you imagine how lucky i would be if that did happen?!)

no dead caterpillar or sharp 90 degree angle math equation rectangles. just a nice filled brow thanks to an angled brush and youtube.

this years goals include a lot of the same. 

1. no junk january

2. no PIRATE'S BOOTY. which is a pretty big deal for me but i'm dealing with a pretty serious addiction that needs to be nipped in the bud. there is no vape equivalent for pirate's booty.

3. make it lovely-i have a dear friend, shalynna, and everything she touches is beautiful. she really inspired me because she has no interest in being a pinterest sensation, she does it because she likes to show her children she loves them by doing beautiful things for them. i'm not a perfectionist at all so it makes my desire to make things perfect is really low, however, i'm hoping to make sure i plan enough for activities and occasions to make my kids feel special. everyone wants a bit of fuss and to feel special. i know i do. i'd like a lot of fuss, in fact. 

4. universal forgiveness- no grudges, no gracias. i can finally go back to academy sports and outdoors. i forgive them for treating me so shabbily 4 years ago. plus, i'm acting like everyone has forgiven me for all the dumb things i do on the regular. i had this epiphany a few weeks ago that i needed to slough off all the grudge and annoyance baggage that i carry around. i realize this will be something i have to start over again and again, but i have to shower every day and that's no big deal so figure i'll treat it the same. just keep trying.

5. 2 half marathons

6. read book the mormon as family again

7.1030 bed time. a girl can dream. hopefully!

Wednesday, January 04, 2017

a nutella sinus infection christmas, lyrics by dolly parton

so many activities from year to year are identical at the holidays. riveting concerts of transcendent musical talent, sugar-laden school parties, and lots of christmas movie watching. 

even athena blythe was yawning through her concert. she was super cute, but we all know we're there for our 5 minute act and not the 47 minutes of pre-school drivel of the kids we're not related to. 

this is reagan's favorite friend at school. her name is sarah d. and reagan says, "sometimes she just wants her quiet time and doesn't want to talk to me. but she still likes me." undaunted. 

i didn't yell more than once about this broken vase from our wedding. got it out and then i felt better then i cleaned it up. one loud feral cat in the alley screech and all was good again.

i ran a 5k christmas eve morning and when to my wandering eye should appear, this grown man dressed EXACTLY like reagan. reagan in 15 years. 
reagan even sported a very similar pair of shoes a few years ago.

Georgia Man was greeting race finishers with his sidekick, little hersch. i think he liked me best. i didn't see him tongue kissing anyone else. he said it was a prize for the 115th finisher, but that seems pretty specific. 

my mom is the best person to have at a finish line. she makes you feel like you just beat ivan drago in rocky 4. i saved america and democracy!

my brother in law, dan, works in the grocery industry and gets the best samples. and he brought them to my house and i didn't talk to anyone else for the duration of the visit. it's good that my family is good at deciphering closed mouth grunts and pointing. no one came between me and my friend nut-ella. he was a better tongue kisser than Georgia Man.

possibly the cutest picture ever of my kids wearing their pajamas. 

possibly the cutest picture of cousin gwen wearing a bear beanie on christmas morning. it says, she's tough, but also likes to cuddle.

scarlett seemed a bit disappointed with her gifts because we got her exactly what she asked for. and that's no fun. i'll have to remember to have a few more tricks up my sleeve next year. 

reagan was super easy this year. normally, he's a bit of a puzzle but green sneaks and queen stuff.

despite the gifting extravaganza just a few days prior, today athena blythe and scarlett spent a good portion of the morning hiding an old box of plastic easter eggs around the house. glad i went to so much trouble to make all their dreams come true.

just the best, nicest little family. 

and an okay family with medium niceness

something special with these two

this is my favorite picture we took with grandma and her east coast grandbabies. hath a greater family action photo been wrought?

photo dumping:

being the cynical jerk that i am, i don't get too choked up by celebrity deaths. i don't know any celebrities except for my sister who went on a date with donny osmond's son, 10 years ago. but princess leia is kind of a special case, so we watched a lot of star wars movies and did our hair in cinnamon buns for multiple days after hearing of carrie fisher's death. next week on the agenda is a family viewing of the 'burbs, carrie fishers most underrated role. 
 "i want to kill everyone. satan is good, satan is our pal." 
it's a movie quote, not a lifestyle.
 and of course, singin' in the rain is in the plans for too. we're supposed to get "snow" (which means moisture but will be treated as a blizzard because we have zero snowplows here) in georgia so it's the perfect weekend to watch movies.

my body was just waiting for christmas break to get sick so our fun christmas break activities have been limited. i get drunk on dayquil so i can't even drive very far but we made it to our favorite bakery, special kneads. 

sharing a chair and eating bang bang chicken

light reading, plus a topknot. 

thomas, being the ultimate surpriser, brought home a ping pong set for our kitchen table. between illnesses and eating leftovers, this has been quite the highlight.  

and i've already acquired one of the kid's stocking stuffer headlamps for my own personal use.
because there is something really great about reading a printed book. no offense to my faithful kindle.

Saturday, December 31, 2016

well played, december

do you ever listen to neil diamond and wonder if you will be anywhere near his level of genius with words? to be able to use words like "brang" and have it sound delightful and proper? i listen to neil all the time and oftentimes i'll walk back into the kitchen from whatever tasks i've just accomplished to find my laptop shut and a child or spouse looking shame-faced. thomas actually never looks shame-faced. he always say that he was trying to have a deep and meaningful conversation with a child and the music was too loud. likely story. 
another likely story is how this month got away from me again with no posts! 

it's probably because i was so on the ball with my christmas cards this year. i had them ordered and addressed the first week of december. 

i actually felt really on the ball for most of the month but because of my christmas card efficiency, this post will have little pontificating, just photo dumping and captioning.

we met santa! his wife was also posed but she didn't make the cut. if i was mrs. claus i'd be out of the north pole and looking for a new group of magical, imaginary people that actually appreciated me. i hear the scientologists have a few openings.

piano recital. on time and well played. pun! the negotiation for reagan was wearing a tie with jeans. he was the one pushing for jeans in a formal setting. not everyone can pull that look off. the jeans cannot be sloppy. a tie is not all redeeming though it does accomplish much in elevating a more casual outfit. if the jeans or sloppy or the shirt is wrinkled, the outfit just conveys an feeling of grocery store bag boy. i think we excuted well. a very mix and match look with a pop of yellow on the tie. 
as far as scarlett's outfit, i've found that one really lights out piece can make a regular skirt and shirt combo special occasion level of dress. elegant chewbacca vest is what we'll call it.

scarlett has mastered artful layering and mixing leopard and polka dots as a neutral. 

thomas's christmas gift from his mother came and it was fantastic. 

on pizza night i found this ultra thick pepperoni and i ate it. 

we had stake conference and WE WERE ON TIME and very well behaved for the first hour. stake conference should be one hour. 

winter hats

matchy matchy. i feel the key to matching outfits is to make the younger person's outfit resemble the older person's and not the other way around.

bob's burgers is on netflix and perfectly demonstrates my internal monologue and blythe's external monologue.

i tried to participate in the Church's light the world campaign but i wasn't really feeling it as much as i wanted to. one day i really prayed to know how to serve. i discovered that the secret to praying for service opportunities isn't necessarily to find them but to change our heart to be willing to help. the service that i prayed to perform this month was staring me in the face but my attitude and my fear of being taken advantage of kept me from recognizing the need and from stepping up sooner. i'm too quick to assume that someone didn't plan well or whatnot instead of thinking that the Lord has something for me to do whether i think it merits my efforts or not. the test may be my reaction rather than fulfilling the need. and here's the kicker, the service i performed was a minuscule part of my day. next to nothing. i changed the course of my day for about 15 minutes. but i felt better ALL DAY because i had heeded a prompting and humbled myself to follow through. 
i'm  constantly learning how often the Lord has given me so much happiness if i'll just humble myself and do rather than be prideful and not get involved.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

the more you suffer the more it shows you really care

my phone has been talking to my garage door opener and my printer dock, who already hate me and are selective listeners to my demands, and it has decided to stop talking to my computer so i can't download any of the pictures from the last month. no one wants to read a post sans photos and a technological revolt against me is alive and well in georgia.

i'll just tell you about two weeks ago. it was "colonial day" at scarlett's school and i signed up to help minimally but it still consumed me. in a nutshell, i'm terrible at managing my life even with simple tasks. i don't struggle with anxiety like i used to but i still have brief moments of panic when despite all my best efforts and extensive planning, i can't make things happen. it started with corn husks for a pilgrim doll craft. i couldn't find any and they were due monday and it was tuesday. every other week of the year, i can walk straight to the corn husks at walmart or kroger, but the week of the project, none were to be found. each employee that i inquired of at the three grocery stores i went to looked at me blankly, as if i asked for gold bullion at the grocery store. i finally had a wonderful friend rescue me from my plight by offering the ones she had on hand. 
then friday's dilemma involved heavy cream for butter churning. i bought my contribution a week in advance so that i'd have it ready, but the morning of was a whirlwind of pilgrim costume styling  and i was up extra late baking a few dozen cookies for all the teacher to take home for thanksgiving (which frankly, irks me. isn't a week off from school treat enough? and i think supporting teachers in practical ways is essential. i digress.) and scarlett walked out the door without it. i went to the gym and i was KILLING it on the treadmill. making great time and feeling fantastic. then it popped in my head that the heavy cream was still in the refrigerator. GASP! i'm determined to not be the deadbeat mom of this generation of children! i'd already turned in the corn husks late! earlier in the year a bunch of my forms had been misplaced so i had to fill everything else again and of course everyone made it sound like i had not turned them in. i was FRAMED. i feel extra pressure to perform when i've under-performed previously. i know how some other mom's talk! i remember how alana wieczorek from high school got all the good parts in the school musicals, even though she was a dreadful singer and actress,  because her mom made all the costumes. i know how things work! i will write secret checks to certain organizations if that's what it takes. but, of course, i'll probably forget to send my bribe check in on time because i'm scatterbrained! 
anywho, i'm trying to figure out the best way to get the heavy cream to the elementary school on the other side of town from my gym. i wish i could have just said screw it because i want to get 5 miles in today! but, duty prevails and i jump off the tread, grab hersch and drive like a maniac to my house to get the cream. no point in stopping at the store for more because my house is by the school. of course, 85 is a mess and i didn't cool down at all so i am drenched with sweat in my sweatshirt. i finally get to the school and drag hersch in, because this was a good time to throw a fit about being dragged around town by his merciless mother. i take the cream inside, looking like a drowned rat, and ask the receptionist to allow me to take the cream to the classroom. take note, this is when you should straight up lie to a bedraggled mom. the receptionist sniffs and looks at me, "they've already finished the butter. you're too late." if i'm ever a receptionist, i'm going to tell lies. i'm going to tell moms who are killing themselves to get stuff done that i'll gladly take their contribution right away, they don't need to know whether it's used. they just need to know that their effort was noted. lie to me! tell me sweet little lies!
so, i'm just mad at everyone at this point. and crazy sweaty. i get in my car after another brief tussle with hersch and start driving down the road. i pull off my sweatshirt at the light and start driving, not realizing that i've also pulled off my running tank. i'm driving around town in just my sports bra for about 20 minutes because i magically got green on every light or only sat at red lights long enough to wrestle with my shirt, but not get it back on. at least i was finally cooling off. 
later that day when i picked up athena blythe, she came out wearing a shirt i did not recognize. according to her teacher, athena blythe had fallen into the toilet at school and drenched her shirt. 
i know the feeling. 
the end. 

Thursday, October 20, 2016

walmart grocery pick up makes me a better person

apparently something really unbelievably amazing is just around the corner because the past two weeks were as hard as trying to retrieve your chapstick from between the seats in your car. it's a seemingly menial task that can leave your sweaty and exhausted. but life is still really good. we haven't had to flee our homeland and we have plenty of food in our pantry. i am not yet as job. but some days i'd love to have a paying job so that i can specifically hire someone to do the household tasks i loathe and despise. which is pretty much everything. pioneer spirit!

the highlights-

walmart grocery pick up. i plan my menu, i place my order the night before. i choose a pick up time. i drive to walmart at the appointed time and collect my groceries without ever stepping foot in hell, or the store. it's the greatest thing that's ever happened. AND IT'S FREE! not even "free" but free. no fee or price change and they honor the price of the item you chose when they have to give you a substitution. talk about making america great again! i save at least 3 hours a week and i actually follow my menu plan because i'm not burned out simply by the task of acquiring food. imagine if i had to skin a deer or shoot a duck? or if had to debone a chicken? how did we live before boneless skinless chicken breasts? HOW? look in my eyes and tell me how? 

reagan had his run-a-thon at school. he walked every single lap and did his absolute best to avoid having his laps marked off on the back of his shirt. he's kind of an anarchist like that. but he loved high-fiving all the lookers on. 

i also received a phone call from a secretary at reagan's school telling me that reagan had done something so outstanding that he was being honored on the principal's wall of fame. she didn't want to divulge to me what the noble act was so that reagan could share it with me. the problem with that is reagan does not like praise and he also doesn't notice when he is doing a good deed. it wouldn't even register to him, and not that he's always going out of his way doing good deeds, but more from a completely oblivious of other people standpoint. when i asked him about it, he couldn't remember what he had done to be recognized, but he was willing to pose with his name on the wall of fame. autism!

our neighborhood can be kind of snobby. it's a nice neighborhood that i am grateful to live in, but there appear to be a few too many people in our 'hood who think they are pretty hot snot just because of where we live. on our neighborhood website a few of these nouveau riche snoots were complaining about a local gardening store that lives in the place of an old gas station. they think it's an eyesore and that it devalues our property and want to see them run out of town simply because their wares include multiple 9+ foot carved bear statues and a plethora of football team oriented statuary. because i loathe snobby people more than almost anything, and being the social vulgarians that we are, we took a family trip to look at the pumpkins at the gas station garden store. if i have zero friends in my snob neighborhood, i'll know i'm doing something right. fight the power! 

scarlett wanted a few shots of her in front of this classy table display.

scarlett gave a talk in primary. i wrote said talk for her during sacrament meeting. though i am in the primary presidency, i still like to live on the edge with remembering who has talks. if i'm not related to the kid, i can tell you when they are speaking in primary but something about sharing DNA makes it pretty hard for me to remember their assignments. familial amnesia. thomas was recently called to teach a class in primary and he's finally going to learn all the words to the primary songs. this will serve him well while working in law and he will need pleasant gospel song reminders to sing to help get him through his day. lawyers love to say the F word at any chance they can. 

athena blythe had a field trip to a christmas tree farm. she tolerated it well enough. they had some goats and she told anyone who would listen that all your need to do to milk a goat was to, "squeak their bottom."

they had scottish cows, which is the closest i'll ever get to my motherland of scotland. 

the less bright lights(low lights):

we took a trip to the park and athena blythe went face first down the skate board half pipe. 

nothing was broken. not even her spirit.

and piece de resistance of annoying things, having our master bathroom and laundry room torn apart because of water damage from a leaky toilet. delicious.

so far, we've had 100 degree fans and humidifiers set up for the past 6 days to dry out saturated tile but it looks like we're going to have to re tile parts of the master bath floor anyway. hurray
when this is over, i'll be a happy woman. but i can easily claim that i am a happy woman now, because i don't live in aleppo and my DVR works all the time. 
the end.