broken things to mend

  I spoke in our church congregation a couple of months ago and I wanted to share my talk here for my kids to read down the road. My topic was the healing power of Christ's atonement. Listed at the top are the General Conference talks I referenced.  

The Healing Power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ Christine Franco

Broken Things to Mend Jeffery R Holland

Strengthened by the Atonement Dallin H Oaks

 

I love speaking in church and not just because I enjoy speaking into a microphone, I enjoy speaking because it is an opportunity to share the culmination of numerous seemingly minor spiritual thoughts and promptings. Many of the thoughts I’m sharing today are things I have been pondering for as long as 25 years and as recent as this week. The joy in writing and talk is seeing how the Lord is truly guiding us at all times, if we are simply listening.

Things I’m going to talk about today include:

The difference between the Atonement healing us from our sins and healing us from our infirmities and weaknesses and struggles

Kintsugi or making broken things gold

The definition of the word succor

My college boyfriend

 

 

When we think of using the Atonement of Jesus Christ in our lives, we almost always consider how we need to repent from our sins. The blood of the atonement washes away our sins. That is a predominant use of it because we cannot enter back in the presence of the Father with sins. We should be using the Atonement of Jesus Christ to repent every day to repair damage from our frailties and weaknesses. What do we feel when we hear the word repentance?  Personally, I’ve had times in my life when I’ve thought of repenting and it has sounded like this REPENTANCE! Complete with tarnation and damnation and pulpit pounding. However, when we understand the nature of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father, we realize that we should be referencing repentance like this Repentance! Complete with angels and harp trills and birds singing. Sadly, too many of us have been conditioned to think that repentance is solely a painful and arduous task. Certainly there are times when our souls require a reckoning and coming to terms with the work to be done can be embarrassing and a struggle, but it is Satan, not Jesus Christ who want you to believe it is an impossible task.

Sometimes when I am hungry or not feeling well, Thomas, being a very brave man, will tell me I need to eat something or take medicine so that I’ll feel better but I’m always resistant to it. I’m FINE, I insist. Everyone else is the problem! Not me! But eventually when I do remedy the situation through a healthy solution, I FEEL BETTER. So much better that I wish I had done something about it sooner. Repentance is a joyful medicine and nourishment to our souls. Often, we just need to get the ball rolling to start feeling better.

 

 We often use the Atonement to repair the same sins over and over again. But we know that the power of the atonement fixes all things and Hebrews 8:12, “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more”. Truly. We know this. However, because of the nature of mortality, there are things in this life that will not be fully repaired until the resurrection. These things can feel broken because of our choices or the way God created us. Some things have consequences that are with us even after we’ve fully repented. The healing power of healing of Jesus Christ isn’t a magic wand or a time machine. A key aspect of repentance is the beauty of healing.

One of my favorite things is collecting artwork and I’m especially partial to Asian artwork. One of my favorite types of art is pottery. I collect plates and I display them on the walls of my home. As is the nature of happy families, sometimes my plates fall off the wall and get broken. Normally, because I favor decorative plates from goodwill and secondhand stores, I toss the broken plate. However, I have a few plates that I’m holding onto in case I ever get a kintsugi repair kit.  Kintsugi is the Japanese art of putting broken pieces back together with gold, built upon the idea that in embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger more beautiful piece of art. The value of the item then goes up because of the gold kintsugi repair. Go ahead and google it. It’s beautiful and I feel a very apt representation of our lives. We are mortals and we will be broken, but because of our divine heritage and the price paid by our Savior Jesus Christ, we can be put back together with gold. I’ve never bought a kintsugi kit because it is very expensive, however, the healing of the Atonement has already been paid for and it is a priceless experience.

So my question to you, how do I my repair my challenges with the Savior and make them gold? How can we look at past sin and struggle and heartbreak and recognize that they can become some of our most beautiful parts?

 

“The first words Jesus spoke in His majestic Sermon on the Mount were to the troubled, the discouraged and downhearted. “Blessed are the poor in spirit,” He said, “for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” JRH

He later declares, ““Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”²

 

For example, the Apostle Paul declared that because the Savior “hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted” (Hebrews 2:18). Similarly, President James E. Faust taught, “Since the Savior has suffered anything and everything that we could ever feel or experience, He can help the weak to become stronger.” DHO

There are several definitions for the word succor, including to give relief or to give aid but my favorite translation for the word succor is “to run to”. It is very powerful to envision the Savior Jesus Christ running to you when you cry out to him, But that is exactly how it works.

As the Psalmist declared, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all” (Psalm 34:19).

Other things that we may need to heal from include things in our lives that don’t feel broken because they are exactly how God made us, but may not be in harmony with God’s plan. Other things may be exactly how God made us but are still really hard. Many of us have actually been blessed with this type of trial, though it may not always feel like a blessing.

 

When I was 15 years old, I felt very strongly that there was something wrong with me that could only be fixed by achieving the world’s view of “perfect body”  and by trying to be very thin. I was always thinking about ways to be thin. Comments from society and even family members gave me incredible anxiety and a preoccupation with food and I continued to greatly struggled with disordered eating for the next 25 years. However, at age 15 I also recall feeling a morsel of light in my struggle that I feasted on when I was hurting. I was studying my scriptures and the thought crossed my mind that Jesus Christ didn’t know how it felt to be a 15 year old girl like me. Then I had a prompting that was quite the opposite. The Spirit confirmed to me that I was wrong. Alma 7:11 reads, “And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people” I was in pain and He understood completely and loved me infinitely. How is the gold to me? The experience of making this realization is gold to me.

 

The healing power of the Atonement applies to big things and little things. All things that matter to us matter to the Lord.

 

When I was 21 I had a boyfriend in college who I thought was THE ONE. . Y’all, he had a south African accent. That’s number 3 on the scale of world’s best accents with midwestern being number 1 and closely followed by southern in 2^nd place. One night he unexpectedly broke up with ME and I was devasted. At church that weekend I was still obnoxiously inconsolable and I was crying my face off during relief society. The poor girl next to me was awkwardly patting my back while probably praying for someone to pull a fire alarm so that she could get away. In my grief, I had prayed to simply feel some peace. My grief was probably rather inconsequential to some of the real problems people were experiencing in the world but what happened next was a clear message to me that the Lord cared and that he was able to help me feel better. The closing song was “Where can I turn for peace?” I knew that was the Lord’s message to me to feel peace and also pull myself together. Heartbreak is often preparation for us to make room for the Lord to do His work and provide us with something better. Kynan breaking up with me was exactly what I needed to happen to I could meet the true love of my life and eternity, Thomas. He’s the best thing to happen to me since elasticized denim. No one wants to be told in the moment of a truly trying experience that this is for the better. That’s probably the quickest way to get a punch in face. 0-60 in one comment. Heartbreak is a tool that can prepare us for something better, even if it takes a long time or the next life. But if we live in a way where we let the Atonement comfort and heal us, we will be blessed until we are able to fully realize our blessings.

 

As I’ve grown older, my understanding of this concept has only multiplied.

As I’ve tried to raise children, including two with special needs, the only way to figure that out is to turn to the Lord. I’ve messed up a ton as a parent and there is SO MUCH crying involved. Sometimes even by the kids. For a good part of my parenting career I felt like every aspect of it was in the L column. Hardly any Ws. There was a really long time that I prayed that this perceived trial would be taken away from me, as if the most desirable solution was to avoid pain and growth. The Lord had other plans. As I slowly repaired my broken perspective, I have been able to see more clearly, what is truly gold in my life. While it has been a rather slow and frustrating process of self discovery, some of the cracks started to become fused with gratitude. I have a greater knowledge of the love of our Heavenly Father. I’ve been able to be more patient in ways I could never be without this perceived trial. I have learned what it means to give something to the Lord. Sometimes I’ll even take my hands and wrap up a package in the air and toss is heavenward and say, “here you go. I’ll do this if you show up too”. If I give it Him, it doesn’t mean it’s a success by a worldly standard, more often than not it simply means I’ll survive the experience and be undaunted to try again even if it’s messy. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying, “Lord, give me another trial and this time put some stank on it!” But, the atonement of Jesus Christ has healed me of some unrighteous desires and healed me from my lack of faith.

I’ll close with some of the lyrics to Reagan’s favorite hymn, How firm a foundation

. When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,

My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.

The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design

Thy dross to consume, thy dross to consume,

Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine