Wednesday, December 29, 2010

pardon me, i am embarassing

i have some issues to work out along the lines of uncontrolled rage. pretty much, my kids need to prepare for a lifetime of embarassment. we had a totally awesome, completely fun day yesterday. we played in the snow, we played with our new christmas toys, we revelled in our awesomeness. by late afternoon we headed out to the street to ride bikes with all the neighbor kids. tons of kids, tons of parents, tons of fun.
 however, we have a problem on our street of people driving like maniacs. it drives me crazy(pun totally intended) and the other parents and myself don't hesitate to make our annoyances known to the perpetrators. today was no exception. a bunch of punk teenagers were driving way too fast and swerving all over our road where our kids were playing. a neighbor dad flagged the car down and commenced telling them to slow down. i was a rational bystander until this point. then the future petty criminal responded to neighbor dad with denials of his speeding offensess and proceeded to drop a big fat F bomb. and that is where i snap. i'm probably the last person left on the planet who gets mortally offended by foul language but i can't help it. this kid was yelling at US and was wearing a greasy bandana on his head. only bret michaels can wear a greasy bandana and get away with it. so at this point i am in this kid's face yelling(read: screeching) like it's my job about him killing my kids and him being sent to jail for manslaughter and me visiting him everyday for the rest of his life just to make him miserable. allegedly. it actually gets a little hazy for me at this point. i was in the zone. i'm not even sure if my feet were still on the ground. sadly, i would still be yelling if he hadn't driven away.
at this point i turn around and all the other parents are silent. and i realize how crazy i look. especially to my nice, classy German neighbors. i am sure i wasn't dispelling any rude american stereotypes.  "hi, i'm a mormon! do you want to know more?" it's getting close to dinner time and our little group starts to break up(i'm sure it's completely unrelated to my outburst). i shuffle off home with the kids but my heart rate is racing. i can barely make dinner because my hands are shaking so much. luckily, our chicken needed a good pounding before baking though all of the chicken stabbing was most likely unneccesary. to top it off, scarlett is watching ni hao, kai-lan while i am cooking and it's all about using our words properly and staying in control. lead by example, i always say.
so, one of my new year's resolutions is to reserve yelling for family members only. because no one wants to be around a lunatic.

the author masquerading as a mild-mannered mother:
happy new year!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

dixieland delight

because of our neverending flu battle, my 25 days of christmas had to condensed and edited. which is a crying in the night shame because i was REALLY trying to create some great memories. i was able to eek out a few more christmas-y activities before the big day, but some days it was a bit of a stretch.

-picked out new ornaments for our tree
-watched it's a wonderful life
-watched the family man(my fave to watch with thomas, proof it's possible for new jersey to be romantical)
-watched christmas vacation(not my favorite)
-hid thomas' present in various locations around the house
-coached the kids to tell thomas that he was getting new shoes for christmas(though he wasn't. sneaky sneaky)
- drove to georgia without a single throwing up incident
- made red velvet pancakes(like heaven for breakfast)
- went running on christmas morning to break in my new sneaks. it was so fun to run and see what other families were doing on christmas morning
- played family football with thomas' dad.
- braved the mall on christmas eve eve

and just enjoyed being together as a family. which is always the best part. we especially enjoyed pretending to be farmers at thomas' mom's house. but cows really stink.
*bright eyed and bushy tailed.
*red velvet cake on christmas morning. not to be confused with red velvet pancakes the weekend before.
*FINALLY! i can stop hearing about the zhu zhu pet pizza shop.
*winter in southern georgia. we narrowly missed the snowstorm in south carolina.
*scarlett actually told me that morning that my prickly legs were hurting her when she brushed up against me. lucky thomas.
*barnyard couture

merry christmas

Sunday, December 19, 2010

a multiple choice question

the past week in our household:
a- was filled with bellies shaking like bowls full of jelly, hot chocolate guzzling and glue-gunning, craft-making and school parties.
b- included non-stop caroling, hall decking with boughs of holly, and merriment with sugar plums dancing in our heads and a much anticipated ugly sweater party.
c- involved more loads of laundry than you can imagine, bulk purchases of febreeze, oxyclean and tamiflu, a visit to the doctor, a 104 degree temperature, and vomit. glorious, plentiful vomit. most notable would be the episode that involved a small female child's vomit gracing my person from neck to knees requiring a blistering hot shower. in bleach.
d- just pick c.

still stumped? according to the rules of test-taking, when in doubt always pick c.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

25 days of Christmas, days 1-12

since both my kids "get" Christmas, this year i've made it my goal do something Christmas-y everyday of december. we've listened to Christmas music non-stop in the car. by dec. 3 i had just about had my fill of jingle bell rock. also, we've just about figured out the kind of behavior that santa claus would approve of. i'm hoping to instill some experiences in their little minds so they would at least have a few good memories in between all the yelling. and moving state to state.

dec. 1- watched rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. because it's pretty much THE greatest Christmas cinematic achievement in drama, music and claymation.
dec. 2- baked gingerbread cookies. even though gingerbread is kind of gross.

dec. 3- enjoyed downtown Christmas lights. and ate pizza.
dec. 4- went to chuck e. cheese for lunch and then picked out our Christmas tree. from the luxurious lowe's parking lot.

dec. 5- decorated Christmas tree while listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing Handel's Messiah. and finally put the kid's pictures in the little picture frame ornaments that had been hanging empty on the tree the last two years. tree

dec. 6- had a family home evening lesson on Christ's birth with the nativity set and then watched animated nativity videos on youtube. and i cried. i'm so emotional when it comes to teaching the kids about Christ.
dec. 7- cut out snowflakes. all two of them. then colored our little hearts out on other non-Christmas related projects.

dec. 8- made fudge. ate fudge. unbuttoned pants.
dec. 9- visited santa at the mall. wiped up a bloody nose. wanted to shove a little kid(and his mom) who made a big deal about scarlett's bloody nose and embarassed her and made her cry.

dec. 10- made Christmas lists by cutting out pictures from catalogs.

dec. 11- attended ward Christmas party. and enjoyed a robust meal of 3 big bites of turkey and salad i ate with a spoon. there's always plenty of food at a ward activity.

dec. 12- made cookies to deliver to our friends. who ended up not being home. so we ate them ourselves.