Wednesday, December 29, 2010

pardon me, i am embarassing

i have some issues to work out along the lines of uncontrolled rage. pretty much, my kids need to prepare for a lifetime of embarassment. we had a totally awesome, completely fun day yesterday. we played in the snow, we played with our new christmas toys, we revelled in our awesomeness. by late afternoon we headed out to the street to ride bikes with all the neighbor kids. tons of kids, tons of parents, tons of fun.
 however, we have a problem on our street of people driving like maniacs. it drives me crazy(pun totally intended) and the other parents and myself don't hesitate to make our annoyances known to the perpetrators. today was no exception. a bunch of punk teenagers were driving way too fast and swerving all over our road where our kids were playing. a neighbor dad flagged the car down and commenced telling them to slow down. i was a rational bystander until this point. then the future petty criminal responded to neighbor dad with denials of his speeding offensess and proceeded to drop a big fat F bomb. and that is where i snap. i'm probably the last person left on the planet who gets mortally offended by foul language but i can't help it. this kid was yelling at US and was wearing a greasy bandana on his head. only bret michaels can wear a greasy bandana and get away with it. so at this point i am in this kid's face yelling(read: screeching) like it's my job about him killing my kids and him being sent to jail for manslaughter and me visiting him everyday for the rest of his life just to make him miserable. allegedly. it actually gets a little hazy for me at this point. i was in the zone. i'm not even sure if my feet were still on the ground. sadly, i would still be yelling if he hadn't driven away.
at this point i turn around and all the other parents are silent. and i realize how crazy i look. especially to my nice, classy German neighbors. i am sure i wasn't dispelling any rude american stereotypes.  "hi, i'm a mormon! do you want to know more?" it's getting close to dinner time and our little group starts to break up(i'm sure it's completely unrelated to my outburst). i shuffle off home with the kids but my heart rate is racing. i can barely make dinner because my hands are shaking so much. luckily, our chicken needed a good pounding before baking though all of the chicken stabbing was most likely unneccesary. to top it off, scarlett is watching ni hao, kai-lan while i am cooking and it's all about using our words properly and staying in control. lead by example, i always say.
so, one of my new year's resolutions is to reserve yelling for family members only. because no one wants to be around a lunatic.

the author masquerading as a mild-mannered mother:
happy new year!


The Stimpson Family said...

HAHA!! good for you, Heidi!

HJolley said...

This was hysterical. But seriously, those teens better watch their driving. They can be so scary. And yes, I'm mere years older than those teens, but let's be honest. I go to bed before 9 when I can. I was born 83 years old.

Jessica said...

hahaha. you're such a good mom. i'm just impressed that you were OUTSIDE playing with your kids. i don't even remember the last time i did that!

Will and Natalie Giddens said...

HAHAHAHA. I don't even have a witty/sarcastic comment to make. That was simply a joy to read, even if it wasn't a joy to live through.

Sean & Lauren said...

I tend to lose my temper with anything involving my kids. I think you were totally justified in giving it to those punks.

Jeppson Clan said...

Good for you Mama bear!

Jess said...

I would have yelled right along with you!!! Hysterical!!

HappyNewYorker said...

Thank you for posting your honest to goodness rage. It makes me feel so much better about my raving mad-woman moments. They are few and far between these days, but when the flood gates open, I too feel my feet float off the ground. Yay for you!

Ashley Hasty said...

I'm Ashley, the girl behind the blog A Hasty Life. I just started the well known 30 for 30 challenge. I chose 30 articles of clothing (including shoes!) to wear for 30 days. I would love for you to bop on over to my blog and leave your feedback! And if you like my blog, follow along!

It was a pleasure *meeting* you!

<3 Ashley

Finley said...

Hilarious and good for you!! I can understand the uncontrolled rage that rears it's ugly head when something threatens your child. Or your shoes.

Yes, I'm a rage-aholic. I'm addicted to rage-ahol.

(And PS, really - someone just posted a shameless comment for their blog that copies Kendi Everyday 30 for 30 Remix? For shame.)

Gabby / Gypsy*Diaries said...

ahhh winter fun times! :D love the snowman!