holy fudge

christmas means one thing to me. FUDGE. i love it. while it tastes good year round, it tastes so much better in late november, early december while you are watching mr krueger's christmas with your family, laughing at the costumes and the dancing and weeping at mr krueger's loneliness. but, good fudge takes an enormous amount of work and patience. work i can do but my patience is reserved for the kiddies. a few years back i discovered this gem of a recipe. great, easy delicious fudge a la heidi:
6 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips
6 ounces milk chocolate chips
1 can sweetened condensed milk
splash of vanilla
hunk of butter(optional)

directions- melt all ingredients in microwave. stir. pour in 9x9 pan. chill in fridge. lick spoon and bowl. smile with gluttony.

this plate was full last night. we are happy little pigs at the simpson house.

Y i hate U

rivalry weekend is my absolute favorite football weekend. sports are best enjoyed when emotions are high and bragging rights are on the line. (and a side of tortilla chips and 7 layer bean dip doesn't hurt.) of course, my favorite rivalry is BYU-Utah. it is in no way the biggest rivarly ever(i did hear one woman describe it as such and i nearly laughed in her face) but being that BYU is my alma mater, it is the most enjoyable to me. taking a cue from this blog, i created a list of things i don't like about the ewe-niversity of utah. while i cannot say that i officially "hate" utah, this time of year brings out my most intense anti-ute emotions. actually, my maternal grandfather played football for utah way back in the 40s, so i try to be civil. most of my animosity stems from football and the ridiculously ignorant ways ewe of eew fans hate BYU.
in no particular order:
1. utes who can't get over urban meyer. i despise his smug facial expressions, his "tricky" yet unskillful play calling, and his air of false superiority. but most of all i hate that he now coaches the hated florida gators and thinks that he is the bombdotcom.
2. "zoobie". this is the dumbest insult known to man. what is a zoobie and why is it so offensive? please give BYU fans a little credit and think of something else to yell at us. once i was at the university mall in orem and several orem high schoolers came up to me and starting calling me a "zoobie". wow, that hurt. it hurt so much that i have nothing else to say about it.
3. the utah fans' favorite argument against BYU fans is that BYU students are closely policed and can't make any choices and that they are forced to follow the honor code. hello! i chose to go to BYU, i chose to follow to honor code. and we can choose to go to another school if we don't want be there anymore. the honor code isn't this restrictive covenant that requires an ankle bracelet that buzzes whenever you approach the boundary of an acceptable BYU activity. i didn't have to revamp my lifestyle in order to attend BYU. it was the lifestyle i was already living. in my opinion, the honor code is more about keeping people that don't want to live a particular way out rather than cloistering people in. (and to clear up a popular BYU misnomer, you can wear flip flops on campus!)
4. utah fans also like to throw out that all BYU fans are self-righteous. this bugs me to no end. granted, there are plenty of self-righteous people at BYU. and at UVSC. and the ewe-niversity of ewe-tah. and at Utah State. and pretty much any other place in utah. having lived in several different places outside of Utah, i have discovered that self-righteousness is in proportion to population. i lived in the glorious state of Alabama for 4 years. while Alabama has the lowest number of LDS people per capita, there were still self-righteous people in all the wards i attended. including people that had never even set foot inside the state of Utah. and i am sure that even i have been self-righteous on a few occasions. that has nothing to do with my BYU degree.
5. finally, ewe-tah fans have this unfounded belief that their football team deserves a higher ranking than they are usually given. they've had a few good years here and there and have a decent coach. but put the yewts against any team in the SEC and they will get beaten. even Vanderbilt. it may be close, but Vandy would bring home the win. San Diego State is in no way as challenging as Ole Miss or Tennessee. and don't give me any of that Emerald Bowl 2005 bizness. Georgia Tech is by no means a Georgia or an Alabama or an Auburn.
now put that in you pipe and smoke it. oh wait, that's against the honor code.
GO COUGARS!

invisibaby

scarlett's 4 month check-up was last week, even though she will be 5 months old on the 28th. she weighed in at whopping 12lbs, 23 3/4 inch length and 41 cm head circumference. what does this prove? while she is very much my little "piglet" at feeding time, she is still teeny. natalie's and paula's twin babies could eat my little scarlett for breakfast.

here's the game: it's like where's waldo?, but it is more aptly titled where's scarlett? can you see her in this picture? like waldo, she is wearing red and white. i propped her up while i folded laundry and she quickly wiggled herself into my towel pile and took a nap. for a minute i couldn't see her. and a big thanks to meatball for taking a nap on my sock pile.

class of '98 rulz

i happened upon these pictures while i was tidying our bookshelves. i can't recall the last time i had seen some of these. i can't believe that my 10 year reunion will be this year. i didn't attend my 5 year reunion, but since i will be living in kansas city, the city of my youth, am i obligated to attend my 10 year?
anywhooo, these pictures painted a grin on my face. they are all from my senior year.

blue springs south prom. i am the dork in the bolero jacket. i actually still have this dress in a box somewhere. my mom convinced me that i would go on lots of dates to dances while at byu and that i would need to take this dress with me. wow, my mom is no psychic. date record for freshman year a whopping 3 dates. and buddy ball at the knight-mangum building doesn't count.

oak grove high school prom. i wasn't too thrilled about the evening as displayed by the great care i took of the photo. white out? mold? tears from sadness for graduating high school? i don't think i mourned that occasion once. i was too cool for school.

my best friend margo and me at graduation. my graduation dress was sleeveless(GASP). that created some drama at my house, but i turned out okay in the end.

the homecoming parade. how in the world i was a queen candidate i will never know. was it someone's cruel joke? was i a "carrie"? if i was, i sure didn't care. i was excited to wear a tiara and ride in a parade. i would still like to do that today! mrs. missouri usa here i come!
go jaguars!

stupid mom tricks

how many balloons can you blow up while taking a shower?
as of today i know that i can do at least 3.
how can i say no to that face?

pumpkin crumbly yumbly in my tumbly bars

ingredients:

1 package yellow cake mix

1/2 cup butter, melted

1 egg
2 eggs

2/3 cup milk

1 (1 lb) can pumpkin

2 1/2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
1/4 cup sugar
1 cup reserved cake mix
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 cup butter, soft

reserve 1 cup cake mix for topping. mix remaining cake mix, 1 egg and 1/2 cup butter together to form dough. press into the bottom of 9x13 inch greased pan.

mix 2 eggs, milk and pumpkin and spices until smooth. pour over first layer. combine reserved cake mix, 1 tsp cinnamon, 1/4 cup soft butter and 1/4 sugar together until crumbly. sprinkle over pumpkin filling. bake at 350 degrees for 50 minutes.

can either serve warm or chilled. tastes great with whipped topping.

moving days are here again

since we have lived in savannah for 2 whole months, we figured that it was time again to move. i know, i know, we move more than anybody else on the planet. pick your jaw up off the floor and keep reading. we are moving to kansas city in january. luckily, thomas' firm is paying for the move. plus, it has been a ton of fun to be house hunting online. all those years of watching property ladder and house hunters has really paid off. and since i am from kansas city, i already know what places to look and what areas to avoid. anywhooo, i will keep you posted on moving plans.

rise and shout, the cougars are out!

things i miss about byu:
1-sugar and spice. i loved eating those gigantic shakes for lunch.
2-people watching in the cougareat. the best way to skip a class.
3-summer time. 1/3 of the people on campus but 10 times more fun.
4-byu info. calling them for ridiculous answers and for random people whereabouts was awesome.
5-the first warm day in spring. everyone would layout in the grass and pretend to study. it looked like a war zone with all the bodies on the grass. plus there were always the token frisbee players.
6-hanging out at DT pool. uno, juvenile fiction, trivial pursuit cards and gossip.
7-byu football. i lovelovelove the cougars. and i hatehatehate the utes. can't wait for this year.



8-the hfac. all the weirdo artsy fartsy people walking around singing at the top of their lungs. the best!
9-trudging up the hill by the botany pond and considering it your exercise for the day
10-the letters to the editor on tuesdays and thursdays. each year the same topics were rehashed:
should the university allow caffeine-free coke to advertise?
why are there so many self-righteous people judging me?
why can't men have long hair at the testing center when Christ has long hair?
people that save seats for the devotional are going to hell.
and my all time favorite...girls shouldn't wear the messenger bags across their chests; it is suggestive and makes me have bad thoughts.

go cougars!

seven deadly things about me

i was tagged by my SIL sarah. here are 7 things about me:
1- i wish that i had matching flatware for 8. we got a really nice set of flatware for our wedding, but slowly and surely, pieces have been lost, misplaced, or eaten by the disposal. whenever we have people over to eat, i have to scrounge through the leftovers in the silverware drawer for acceptable fill ins. this time next year i will have a beautiful matching set and i will keep it locked in a secret drawer in my house!
2- i hate the color blue. i can't explain it. i rarely purchase blue clothing. looking in my closet, i have one blue shirt that i wear occasionally. very occasionally. more like rarely. when looking at houses, blue almost turns me off immediately. and pink is becoming a color that i don't like. it's just too much for me. everything for baby girls is pink. i am pinked out! where are all the cute black baby clothes??? there have got to be more options out there people. are we breeding a generation of conformists?
3- i can't eat japanese food anymore. two trips to kabuki while i was pregnant with scarlett has turned me off completely. just the thought of the scent of japanese food makes me want to run for the hills. i can't talk about it anymore.
4- i would like to take adult dance lessons. prehaps tap or jazz. or hip hop as all the youngsters call it these days.
5- i really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really wish i hadn't cut my all my hair off 2 months ago. i think i utterly despise it. i just don't feel like myself. i feel like i am supposed to have long glamorous, luxurious hair. even if it is only glamorous and luxurious in my own mind. i am trapped with another person's hair!
6- i would like to be a sharpshooter. i think it would be fascinating to be able to hit a target at a long range.
7- i would like to go on jeopardy, win the whole show, and then correct alex trebek on his pronunciation of an answer! it is so annoying when he does that on the show. the only reason he knows how to say anything is because he has the answer key and he was prepped before the show was taped. better yet, i would have my own game show called heidi vs. alex: ultimate trivia challenge. it would probably have a timed taco eating component and of course, wrestling.

unphotogenic

even supermodels have a bad day. a couple months ago, whilst we still lived in montgomery, the whole fam damily went to a circuit city store opening, just for kicks. to commemorate the occasion, circuit city brought in jay novacek and a couple of cowboys cheerleaders to sign autographs and show off their plastic surgery(the cheerleaders, not jay novacek). during the last few months of my pregnancy with scarlett i watched CMT's dallas cowboys cheerleaders reality show late at night to get through the sleeplessness and heartburn. it was only appropriate that i brought her to meet such icons of sports history and pop culture. too bad it just wasn't our night for picture taking. we all look a bit off:

thomas is sooper happy, reagan was afraid of jay novacek, and mr. novacek looked like a greasy redneck. but i would never say that to his face because he was absolutely huge. thomas is 6'3 and jay was more than that.

the cheerleaders were extra cheery, scarlett looks annoyed that there was only silicone coming out of those boobs and i look tired, bedraggled and pale. so it was a typical day for me.

this whole blog everyday is really causing me to scrape the bottom of photo barrel for ideas. can you tell?

hostess with the mostess

christmas is coming, we are getting fat,

would you please put a penny in the old man's hat.

or better yet, in my hat so that i can afford to buy more christmas presents!

so, here's the question of the day:

what will y'all be bringing as hostess gifts to holiday parties/dinners/get togethers? normally, one would bring a bottle of wine, but seeing how our house does not imbibe, that is not an option for us.

candles? chocolates? stationary? a book? any good websites for ideas? throw me a bone here people!

also, these pics are from this weekend. we visited a revolutionary war era cemetary downtown. have i mentioned recently that savannah is a FANTASTIC place to visit?

i feel like i needed to redeem myself from the awful "mom jeans" picture!

scarlett o'baby

remember the blessing dress travesty of ridiculous proportion?
it seems to have turned out all right in the end.
but don't let that angelic smile fool you, she is no respecter of clothing.

mama drama
this morning i took the kids shopping at a consignment store for some cooler weather clothing. as we are walking around i notice the distinct odor of barf. i am thinking that some kid must have just barfed and they barely got it cleaned up. i continue perusing the great deals. some people must only let their kids wear an outfit once because i got some fantastic deals. the barf smell continues to follow us. i can't seem to get away. my head is beginning to hurt because of the intense barf scent. i then make the realization that it is us that smells! sometime during the night reagan barfed on his blanket and i didn't notice until right then. it makes sense because i had to tell reagan to go get his blanket before we left the house and that is usually never the case! reagan knew it smelled bad and he didn't want to bring it. i quickly made my purchases and ran out the door. i am sure they won't miss my patronage in the future.

dear margaret mitchell

dear margaret mitchell,
where does one begin in addressing their favorite author? though you had just one book published, that was all it took for me to be fully entrenched and consumed by your incomparable wit and your resplendent prose. i will always be grateful for that day in the 6th grade that i started reading gone with the wind. my world was forever changed.
i feel i must apologize for the recent "literary works" that have been authorized by your estate. i am sorry that both fall short of your standards. neither "scarlett" and "rhett butler's people" comes within shouting distance of gone with the wind. did the authors not research enough? was there no passion for the original characters? or is there simply no way to write an adequate companion novel to the greatest written work of recent history? while i empathize with the estate's need to answer the public's pleas for answers and conclusions about gone with the wind, sometimes things need to be left well enough alone. gone with the wind is a masterpiece. too much milk on cereal just makes it soggy. too many cooks in the kitchen spoil the meal. and too many authors trying to recreate the magic of gone with the wind make poor sequels. (excepting of course the day when i finally sit down and pen my narrative of gone with the wind.)
sincerely, heidi-president of the simpson family chapter of the gone with the wind fan club.

i finished rhett butler's people on friday night. i tried to give it a chance. i wanted my mind to be a tabula rasa. it is difficult to put aside one's preconceptions on this very important subject matter and be subjective, not just critical. there were some elements i enjoyed. of course it was nice to revisit the characters and i liked some of the fresh ideas that were presented. but the smoldering relationship between rhett and scarlett was just not present. it was more like a nice meal from a restaurant reheated the next day for lunch. fine, but not like the real deal. and some of the scenarios were just impossible. they just wouldn't happen and nothing could make me believe they were feasible.

after i finished rhett butler's people, i went back and read a passage from gone with the wind, just to see if i was being too critical. no. i am an expert in these matters. rhett butlers people is a nice story, but is in no way doctrine. the end.

mom jeans

we had playgroup at my house this week. one mom brought this pair of jeans that didn't fit her so she was offering them to the rest of us. no one wanted them, so somehow they just got left at my house. i didn't even have to put them on to know that they are the dreaded "mom jeans". check out the ridiculously high rise and the tapered ankle. i feel like i graduated from high school in 1984. pardon me while i pull my skyhigh waistband out of my armpits. i don't even dare show you the backyard. thomas wouldn't even take a picture in order to spare my dignity. let me paint a mental picture: the expanse was so tall and wide that a 747 could have used it as a landing strip.


this clip cracks me up every time i watch it. we need a mom jean revolution. friends don't let friends wear mom jeans. i figure if i don't completely embarass my children by the way i dress, that is a big plus for them. they may even want to be seen with me when they are teenagers.

true comediennes are gone with the wind

a few nights ago i was watching a carol burnett special on pbs. if i could do it again, i would become a red-headed comedienne because carol burnett and lucille ball are my two favorites! i love how they both were not afraid to look silly, unattractive or do slapstick comedy. and those women ran their own shows! they just don't have comediennes like that any more. how old do i sound? i better go do some laps at the mall and check my false teeth!
bit o'trivia: both carol burnett and lucille ball have a gone with the wind connection. lucille ball auditioned for the role of scarlett o'hara and carol burnett's funniest clip of all time is about gone with the wind. enjoy this clip! it is lengthy, but worth it!

L8TR G8TR

i've said it a million times, i love autumn in the south. this morning at the gym, many people commented on how cold it has gotten. and it has! compared to the 90 degree weather we were experiencing just a few weeks ago, it is downright chilly! this morning it was in the 30s, but today while we enjoyed the park, it was in the high 6os. a lovely day indeed.

wait, what does that sign say?
ALL CITIZENS WALKING AND RIDING BIKES YIELD TO EACH OTHER! what? when was the last time a biker yielded to anyone? bikers think they are bikedestriaobiles. they are the gods of transportation! they trump everybody! but fo' reals yo, i don't actually believe there are any alligators there anymore. they are in hiding. georgia had it's first alligator attack in 30 years a month or so ago about 10 minutes from our house. but we ain't scared. i just consider it an incentive to run faster while jogging at the park. i would love an alligator purse or belt.

autumn in dixie

bless ben franklin

in my mind, i had been planning on several different ideas about what to blog about for national blog till you puke month, which i have obviously been participating in. i had been contemplating a post about what modern convenience you can't live without. well, i know firsthand, what TWO modern conveniences i can't live without. drumroll........microwave and hairdryer. last night our microwave went kaput and this morning our hairdryer went the way of the world. a technological double whammy! i didn't realize till about lunch today what a huge deal this is until i went to make lunch with air-dried, puffy, triangular shaped hair. most of my quick lunch ideas, corndogs, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, and pizza bites wouldn't work without a microwave. sure, those lunch items can be made with the oven, but i don't think the boss man(reagan) wanted to wait that long. what a trying life i lead! bad hair and a cold lunch! thank goodness for ben franklin harnessing electricity!
now my question is, what can you not live without? and you can't say family, scriptures, and goody goody answers like that. let's get shallow, imagine life without indoor plumbing and flat irons!!!

frankly, i give a damn

today was the big day folks. i planned a few festivities to help usher in the momentous day. firstly, i actually did my hair and make-up. secondly, i answered every phone call with, "happy rhett butler's people day!" that was extra fun when i talked to my mom today because we got cut off like 4 times and each time answered with my joyful expression. thirdly, i made a true southern dinner of barbeque pork chops, cheese biscuits(homemade), corn on the cob and lemonade.
the highlight of the day was the actual book purchase. unfortunately, our local wal-mart wasn't carrying rhett butler's people. fiddle dee dee! i had to go all the way to barnes and noble and pay significantly more. bleah. like a whole 5 dollars. nevertheless, i was pretty excited...
in the parking lot pre-purchase

my willing purchase companions. don't they look ecstatic? reagan was out cold. i put him in the stroller, bought the book, put him back in the car, drove home and put him in his bed. he had no idea he even left the house. scarlett, on the other hand, was all smiles and coos. she knew that this was an important day. someday i will share the story of how she was with me when i purchased rhett butler's people.

post-purchase, mission accomplished.

the saddest day of the year

this sad display greeted our garbage man. we are all mourning over the loss of iron mike the jack-o-lantern. at least he went out on top! haha!

************
mama drama

sometimes you lose in order to win. i'm not sure what brought on this incredible apple juice affection, but we will roll with it if it helps him take a nap.

********
finalemento

i spend a ton of time at wal-mart. regardless that their staff is invisible, unhelpful, unintelligible and condescending, they still have the BEST selection and BEST prices. what's a gal to do? anywhooo, on today's particular outing, there was a bit of confusion in the parking lot. i was driving in front of the store when two cars were coming at me. and then someone was honking. i was trying to navigate through this mess without getting hit myself. as i was going along, this old lady with her cart steps out in front of my car. i slow down to let her pass and give her this sheepish smile/wave like, "oh, i didn't see you. sorry about that." i was in the wrong. i can admit that. she then decides that isn't good enough and starts verbally berating to me. i don't think that she thought i would roll down my window to hear her comments. she is going off in a condescending tone about me "not knowing that pedestrians have the right of way, blah, blah, blah." and her voice was even more nasal than mine, if you can believe that. so, i reply to her in my nicest, sweetest voice, "i am apologizing to you for my mistake, i am so sorry." i was actually shocked myself that that was my reply and so was she because she stopped talking and walked away in a huff. i don't think she was expecting that. i really wanted to say, "watch out lady, don't expect everyone to see you when you walk out into traffic." or "are you that lady who wears plastic head scarves and jumbo opthamologist sunglasses and drives 40 mph in the hammer lane of the interstate with her blinker on all the time?" or better still, "they say, don't mess with texas. well, you don't even want to mess with missouri! watch out!" motherhood has definitely made me a more patient person. the end.

i am a mother

"you are doing God's work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you, and He will bless you, even-no, especially-when your days and your nights may be most challenging. like the woman who anonymously, meekly, perhaps even with hesitation and some embarassment, fought her way through the crowd just to touch the hem of the Master's garment, so Christ will say to the women who worry and wonder and weep over their responsibility as mothers, "daughter, be of good comfort, thy faith hath made the whole." and it will make your children whole as well."
-elder jeffrey r. holland

just another beautiful day in the coastal empire

thomas is a great husband. he always humors me in my silly ideas. as everyone surely knows by now, rhett butler's people---the prequel/sequel to the ground breaking, record shattering, one true great american novel, gone with the wind--- is just days from release. so thomas went along with my idea of a rhett butler's people weekend. those of you who know me also know that this trip echoed a gone with the wind trip we made to atlanta 3 years ago, which further fueled my obsession. (for the love of cross stitch, i have a daughter named scarlett! that is true love!) anywhooo, thomas is the best. i know that someday we will have many georgia bulldogs/athens weekend trips and, of course, one ronald reagan weekend trip. at least his favorite things involve real people. eventually thomas will have to visit me in the crazy people asylum and i will insist that we wear antebellum garb, including full hoop skirts, and thomas will have to call me miss scarlett and i will call him rhett. actually, thomas doesn't have to wear a hoop skirt, just a morning coat and cravat. and grow a mustache. and ride a horse. and have pistol duels to defend my honor and/or virtue. and, well, you get the idea.


to kick start our rhett butler's people weekend, i dropped reagan off with his mimi susu and bubba for a funfilled weekend of tractors and cows. then our southern living adventure officially began with dinner at paula deen's restaurant, the lady and sons, in historic, scenic downtown savannah. everyone needs to make a trip there at least once. it has become a southern institution.

delicious. some of the best hoe cakes i have ever had. finger lickin'. the cheese biscuits were yummy too. thomas had the crab cakes and i had the shrimp, sausage, and grits medley. thomas makes the best grits that i have ever had, but paula deen's were a close third (after the waysider in tuscaloosa). i can hardly recall my life before i discovered the delight of grits. it is a foggy memory. grits have changed my life and my palate. that paula deen must be smilin' all the way to the bank.

then, on saturday, we trekked 2 hours north to charleston, south carolina, fictional home of rhett butler. we walked along the battery and did some house hunting, you know, just in case we ever have a couple million lying around the bank, just taking up space.

it looks like a bright glare was in effect, but actually the south is always glowing.

i try and stand with my hands on my hips in photos because it is supposed to make you look taller and thinner. let me tell you, after i decided to consume enough calories at lunch/dinner to feed a school bus full of elementary school kids, i needed to do anything possible to support my back and disguise that belly bulge from lunch. thomas had the brisket sammich and i had the pulled pork barbeque sammich and we shared a plate of nachos. and we had to get homemade ice cream on the way home. if we are celebrating the south, then we need to do it right.



autumn is the best time in the south. mid 70s in november. ad that to football on the radio both coming and going and you are fixin' on pert near perfect. plus, if you wear a georgia bulldogs hat, people that pass you while driving down the road will slow down and update you on the score of the game. this next one is thomas in standing next to a plaque commemorating south carolina's sucession.
historical sites for the nerds in us.






i have an affinity for old school cemetaries. they are so spooky!
fun was had by all. i did find the need to point out in my mind every tractor, back hoe, cement truck, dump truck, bus, train, fire truck, big rig, horsey, horsey poo poo, cat and dog. that reagan has me on the lookout at all times.