mischief managed

when left to her own devices, scarlett is usually brewing trouble. sometimes i try and sneak up on her to catch her in the act. i was hiding on the stairs and spied this scene:

scarlett sneaking into thomas' office.

i cracked open the door and i happened upon this:

scarlett reading a talking cliff clavin greeting card:

i got this card as a freebee in a running swag bag. it has provided hours of entertainment. scarlett can repeat it verbatim:

cliff- "when the british ruled the punjab, they drank steaming hot pots of tea on the hottest days of the year to balance out their inside and outside body temperatures. see, drinking an ice cold drink on a cold drink actually results in a more comfortable body temperature."
diane- "so why do you drink cold beer on a hot day?"
cliff- "what else are you going to do with it?"
HAHAHAHAHAHA(laugh track)

the funniest part is when she laughs along with the laugh track. hahahahaha with a breathy old man voice.

reading her big, ugly baby to sleep.

which is the really funny part. scarlett is such a gentle, maternal little mama. i am baffled about where she gets it. she gets really upset if i toss her baby around or drop her on her head.

your move, martha

on occasion i've been known to shuffle off my witchy wet blanket coil and muster up some fun for the kids. it's a nice break from all the yelling and screaming. sometimes our house is not too far removed from a latin american game show. i wish i could claim that we are all screaming for ice cream. (but deep down isn't that what we are all screaming for?)

i am pretty much terrible at all crafts and things of a "making/creative nature". and if we are being honest, i struggle with a good portion of domesticity. except for ironing, i'm pretty darn good at ironing. and pre-heating. did you know i have a degree in home economics? and 4 years of french, c'est vrai. i digress. i am forced to enchant my children with mostly nearly already completed store bought crafts. like this gem of a haunted halloween house. it's become our $9 halloween commercialized tradition.
i thoroughly studied the directions before embarking on this venture(searching in vain for the toxic lead product caution), and i still screwed up the frosting measurements. so my countertops and forearms are stained orange and purple. which isn't half bad, if you like the internal bleeding kind of look.

when i was finally stopped messing it up all by myself, i allowed the kids to take a crack at it. no animals were injured in the making of this unsightly craft. but more than 5 dish towels bravely sacrificed themselves in the clean up.

ignorance is bliss when you are young. somedays these kids are going to go to a hobby lobby or a michaels and see that knick knacks don't have to look like they fell off the back of a turnip truck. but until that day, it's your move, martha!

of heros and brownies

my mom would make brownies for us everyday to enjoy when we got home from school. and i am grateful for that. not just for the brownies, but the efforts my mother made to make sure that our home was a haven from the world. my mom didn't have tons of time to be baking for a bunch of obnoxious kids. she made time for it. she made her kids her priority. she is my hero.

my grandmother was born in a log cabin in meadow, utah in 1927. her family were sheep farmers and they lost everything in the great depression. she has worked all her life. she and my grandfather raised 7 children. all of those children were well educated and learned about the gospel of Jesus Christ. she gave me my first sewing lessons and she made my baptism dress. she let me pick all the best flowers out of her garden. she doesn't have to tell me for me to know that i am her favorite grandchild. my grandmother is also my hero.

a couple of weeks ago a friend of ours from our tuscaloosa days was killed in afghanistan while serving in the USAF as a combat controller. i would venture to say that a combat controller is the air force equivalent to a navy seal or a green beret. the news of mark forester's death hit me like a ton of bricks. there have been few days since we received the news that i haven't shed tears for his loss of life. however, i have felt peace and i have felt a renewed sense of determination to live my life the way God wants me to because of mark's example. mark was a really fantastic guy who was dedicated to doing what God wanted him to do. in reading the account of mark's death, the words that impacted me the most were that mark died while fighting. it seems like an obvious phrase, considering that afghanistan is a war zone and mark was a soldier. but to me it says so much more. it's how i want to be and it's how i want to go. i want to live a life engaged in a cause that means something. i want to promote happy families. i want my children armed with the knowledge that they are special and loved and that our Heavenly Father is mindful of them. i want them to take those lessons to those around them who don't know those important and vital truths. i want the scriptures to be pried from my cold fingers. i want people to know that i promote modesty. i want to have each day filled with honest work. and honest play. yesterday i was thinking about my role as a woman and a mother and i had an epiphany. i am the adversary's greatest enemy. as a woman and a mother i have such power to influence others. my job is not to be taken lightly for those children are depending on me to teach them correctly.

while mark's death is a true tragedy, he is an incredible example of giving our all for others. i can teach my children about true heroism and that it has nothing to do with professional sports or musicians or politicians or wealth. and it has everything to do with service and selflessness and love.
my strength may not be in soldiering or combat in a far off place. i know it's not those things. but i do know that what i am doing is important. that each pan of brownies i make means something. that i can make a difference.

i am the happiest mom in the whole entire world exclamation point!

the greatest thing ever has happened.
after much pain, crying and agony,
after much begging and practice and rejection,
after more than 3 years of trying,
scarlett has allowed me to put something in her hair.

my joy is nearly indescribable. i took about a bajillion pictures. she hated it. i loved it. our teenager experience together is looking bright!

she kept her piggie tails(or her headpigs, as she called them) in ALL night. even during a windy trolley ride all through downtown. with a crazy lady sitting behind us. (someone may or may not have told her that she wouldn't be allowed to ride the trolley without pigtails in her hair.)
the men folk also had a carefree haircare trolley ride.

plus, we are on the final countdown with the boot. it's been a good and smelly friend. and we just figured out that it is possible to ride a bike with it on. very very slowly.

in other news, we have a bowl with a dead fish in it. we all love it. it just adds a little "je ne sais quoi" to the ambience of our home. scarlett tries to wake the poor thing up with her recorder. she is so helpful. ps- everyone should have a 3 year old and a recorder. it's awesome. and really quiet. and soothing. dulcet, harmonious tones. all the time. makes everything quiet and lovely. and quiet.

i have my moments

i thought having reagan in all day kindergarten and scarlett is pre-school twice a week would afford me more time to get things done. but it really hasn't. it's just another one of parenthood's cruel tricks. it's like when you thought that after your first baby was born and you quit your job that you would finally be able to get some stuff around the house. or that potty training would save you some money but the extra money actually goes to more toilet paper because someone is always using half the roll for their personal paperwork. OR, my personal fave, those favorite jeans that you couldn't wait to wear again post-partum? even when they zip up, they will never, EVER, ever look the same. having more time once your kids are in school is sort of like that, falsehoods, pipe dreams, myths.
not that it's all pickup lines and lunch packing. i do have my moments. wal*mart is still my personal hell, but it is nice to walk the aisles without my little buddies loudly questioning whether each person we pass has a wee wee or lady parts. or not having to deal with the tap dance of doom that precipitates the last minute run across the store to the potty. i only have to worry about myself getting across the store(but with my mom-bladder sometimes is it close). alone time at wal*mart has taken some getting used to. the only people who bother me now are the employees. sometimes i feel the need to act out and touch every banana on the shelf. or lick the bathroom wall. or announce to anyone within ear shot that i have cupcakes on my underpants. but i'm beginning to get used to it. and some days i even miss those kids.

the week that was

SUNDAY- reagan and thomas spent the morning in the ER. reagan had been jumping off of a bed the previous night and landed funny on his foot. requisite wailing and gnashing of teeth ensued. the foot looked bad, real bad michael jackson. the ER doc said that the x-ray was inconclusive and that reagan just needed a splint and to stay off of it for a week and a follow up appointment with an orthopedist on thursday. that also meant missing a week of schoool. reagan's response? "but i just hafta still play."



TUESDAY-scarlett's first day of pre-school EVER. i got up early to run and i came home sick as a dog. i needed to go outside and eat some grass. it was that bad. and as a result, i could hardly move and i let scarlett sleep until 815. her pre-school starts at 830. and she needed a bath. i finally pulled it together and scarlett got a bath and i got a bath(after two attempts). i sheepishly walked her into school at a few minutes after 9. and i did NOT appreciate the stink eye that her teacher gave to me. she is lucky to have scarlett in her class.
but because we were so late, all i had time for were these weak first day of school photos:

running into school:
a quick pause at the fish tank:


pick up. she was done with the photo taking.
WEDNESDAY- i spent a good deal of the day reading mockingjay. thomas had surprised me with a copy after i had spent way too much time searching for it around town. and thanks to the walmart employees who questioned me for looking for a book called "monkeyjaw". seriously. they had never heard of mockingjay.
i tried to pace myselfwhilst reading it so that everything else in my life wouldn't go to pot(unlike every other day of the week). in interest of spoilers, all i will say about the book is: team gale forever.

THURSDAY-reagan's appointment with the orthopedist. it was sort of WAY awesome. his office was really swanky with floor to ceiling windows and waterfalls and a paging system like they have at applebee's with the buzzer that lights up. in the waiting room they had 6 gigantic flat screen tvs all showing reruns of burn notice. i wish had a dressed up for the occasion.

the doctor took a quick look at reagan's foot and deemed that his 3rd metatarsal was broken.

next to us there was a kid also being checked out by a doctor. he was screaming so loud that they had to come in and turn the volume up on the tv in our exam room. the kids kept asking me what was going on outside with all the noise. i told them that there was a puppy dog in the next room trying to get out and run outside. i don't know if that explanation helped or hurt.

and poor scarlett thought her turn was next.

SATURDAY-i got up and ran and it was a success. slow and steady. and then thomas suggested that we head on down to georgia to the outlet mall and see what wares were for sale. something seemed fishy about that exchange but i didn't dare ask because i am not one to turn down a day of shopping. about 20 minutes out of town the truth came out. we were definitely heading to the outlet mall but first we would be stopping to pick up some new georgia gear for the upcoming football season. and then i would get to shop. seems like a fair enough deal.

reagan and thomas should be adequately outfitted for at least 4 months.

SUNDAY-thomas and i both received new callings to serve in at church. thomas was called as 2nd counselor in the young men's organization and i was called as the laurel's advisor in the young women's organization. and i am totally excited. i still haven't gotten over the fact that i am not 16 anymore. this calling is perfect.

sunday afternoon has been filled with playing in our disaster area of a playroom. a fantastic mess means a fantastic time. reagan and thomas played football on reagan's new georgia football rug and scarlett does what scarlett does and she does it with no pants on.

ps-is it a bad sign that we have moved too much that one of the kid's favorite things to do is to pack up all their toys in boxes and pretend to be moving?

on a lighter note

who else is as excited as we are for college football season? autumnal saturdays are like a corporeal general conference on the gridiron. a veritable medley of athletic prowess, strategic enlightenment and old-fashioned suspense.

reagan and thomas have been watching a lot of espn classics, practicing reading plays and boning up on positions and player stats. i happened upon this little father/son interaction last week:

you should know that i live with the football Master with a capital M. no one knows more about football, lives football, breathes football, eats football and loves football more than thomas. perhaps bear bryant himself would be the exception, but it would be a closey.

and watching a game with thomas is unreal. i have a few suggested behaviors:

1. don't talk during key moments. show viewing awareness.

2. don't ask dumb questions. i know this from experience.

3. carefully plan bathroom breaks.

4. don't be flippant if thomas' team is not playing their best. if you want to joke, you should probably just leave the house.

5. don't cheer for florida. not even jokingly.

6. if you like a team, you better be able to back it up. don't be trendy.

7. sit on the victory blanket. we have one for BYU and one for georgia. and they work. modern day relics.

8. don't check your messages if you are watching a recorded game that everyone else already knows the score to. it's really hard to finish watching a game and pretending you don't already know the outcome.

plus, living in south carolina has opened several new football worshiping avenues. having steve spurrier coaching the gamecocks of south carolina(plus) and clemson university(minus) only a few miles up the road makes saturdays in the south cackalacki almost as lovely as being back in the college football capital of the universe tuscaloosa, alabama.

thomas used to write a weekly college football newsletter. i would like to see him resurrect it. if you would like to see him resurrect his newletter also, please bombard him with requests on facebook. i think it would only take 2 or 3 requests for him to be swayed.

i feel pretty good about this year.

wordless wednesday

beef jerky picnic

first day of kindergarten ever for reagan. the first day of 18 years of a cruel trick. it was hard to be excited to send reagan to school because he really is a nice, easy kid. i cried upon drop off but otherwise it was a good clean break.

the final walk...

so presh that i could eat a stuffed animal.

adios. like he didn't even need me.

one thing that was chancey was what reagan was going to look like as he left for school. we had a lot of this glasses/villain moustache/laser arms look this past weekend:

a closey.

and then after i dropped reagan off, i asked scarlett what she wanted to do for fun today and she said "a beef jerky picnic."

and so we did.

bloom where you are planted

things that are hard about this most recent move:

1. eating fast food. for every meal. it's like coating your intestines in crisco.

2. not being able to find important things, like a plunger or zurg or underwear.

3. finding how to get home.

4. finding new running trails and adapting to a new YMCA.

5. acclimating to a new pollen count.

6. stumbling around our the new house in the dark in the middle of the night.

7. registering. for school. for voting, for driving. for exercising. for breathing.

8. east coast time zone. it is killing us. that one hour makes all the difference in the world.

things that are easy about our most recent move:

1. going to church. it's always the same wherever we have lived. the same spirit, the same doctrine, the same wonderfulness.

2. the blank slate. no one knows you and you can be whoever you want to be. also, i haven't put my foot in my mouth yet. but it is only a matter of time...

3. family time. we have a lot of it because we don't know anyone yet. a bittersweet perk.

4. everthing is a new experience. just being in our new house and new backyard and our new town is exciting for the kids.

and whenever i get sad about leaving friends and family and familiar surroundings for new experiences and adventures, i like to think of this quote,

"...whatever circumstances you live in, whatever your background or challenges might be, the gospel light has power and purpose to bring blessings into your life and in the lives of those placed in your path. the gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored to bring blessings to our Heavenly Father's children. you are planted in your country, your community, your family to facilitate these blessings. i urge you to bloom where you are planted." elder dieter f. utchdorf.