ocean not included

all outing plans were canceled today when i looked out the window and saw this: it may not look like much, but the street was pretty much a solid sheet of ice. and those bits of snow in the grass? more chunks of ice. snow is not soft and fluffy in mizzou, it is hard and crunchy. 13 degrees is not pretty.

what's a mama to do? crank up the heat, pull out the summer clothes, paint my toenails and have a BEACH PAR-TAY IN THE BASEMENT.

pale winter skin was exposed...

trashy beach novels were read...
scrumptious summer food was consumed...
color drenched espadrilles were brought out of hiding(but legs weren't shaved)...

faux shell earrings were worn...

and fun was had by all!

will the real heidi please stand up?

i was going to forego another "tag" since most of you have probably heard enough of my youthful antics and personal reminisces, but the content of this particular tag coincides with something that i was already planning on posting about. so here it is in it's entirety. lucky you.

ten years ago i was: a senior at blue springs south high school, home of the jaguars. which brings me to an important question, do you say jag-wire or jag-whar? anywhooo, at this point in my high school career i was very much disillusioned with the so-called "best years of my life". i was thrilled with my acceptance to BYU and couldn't wait to leave and start my "adulthood". to pass the last year of my adolescence as quickly as possible i was involved in such glamorous and highly enviable activities as singing in the chamber choir(surprise, i used to be quite good), working at the public library(sexy)and saving most of my money for college, perfecting my sewing skills in home ec and keeping my perfect seminary attendance record alive. also, i was really into my stake's youth activities. i was chair of the stake youth commitee and i planned the dances and youth conference. stake dances were the highlight of my month! rereading this paragraph makes me wonder why i had any friends at all. if i was a saved by the bell character, i would have played screech's little sister, squeek! needless to say, i was a nerd and i loved it!

this brings me to my next point. now that we have lived in KC for over a month, i have ran into a few people here and there that i knew in my youth. it has only been ten years since i lived here and i don't think that i have changed that much, but i few people haven't recognized me at all. one person gave me a blank stare until i re-introduced myself. these are people whose kids i hung out with for crying in the night! was i not that dazzling and unforgettable to them? this hasn't happened with everyone i knew but enough that i am blaming it on them and not me. they must have early onset dimensia. what do you think?
1998
2008















5 things on my to-do list today:
1. go to gym
2. pick up prescriptions
3. put together scarlett's bureau
4. make easy peasy chicken cordon bleu for dinner
5. go to the AT&T store and pick out my new phone

3 of my bad habits
1. passing gas in public and blaming it on the kids(that is so gross, i know! i am in a really crude mood).
2. letting people i don't even know have a say in my emotions. for example, people that are rude or unkind or don't even recognize me from 10 years ago
3. staring at myself in the mirror, or anything with a reflection really. if i walk by one, i have to take a look. i guess i am self-concious about a few things. mascara running down my face. boogers hanging out of my nose. the way that i walk. it's sort of duck like if you ask me.

places i've lived(mostly in order and avoiding the repeats)
1. provo, ut
2. prairie village, ks
3. blue springs, mo
4. jackson, wyoming
5. tuscaloosa, al
6. snellville, ga
7. northport, al
8. montgomery, al
9. savannah, ga
10. lee's summit, mo

things most people don't know about me:
9 times out of ten i don't open emails that are forwarded to me. if they have either "forward" or "you should really read this" in the subject line, it doesn't get opened. or if by some chance i do read it and it says to forward it to all your friends, that translates to me as delete immediately. i am a cold, heartless woman.

my fifteen minutes of fame

scarlett and i made the front page of the hugely important eastern jackson county examiner. i guess a little bit of fame makes up for a lot of crazy parenting.

http://theexaminer.net/stories/020508/new_243979811.shtml

i will being signing copies for anyone interested. one autograph per family.

democracy in action

i do not want any more children. i am done. through. spent. finito. i have tapped the mat three times, please let me resume my old life.

today i was feeling patriotic and bold. ann romney was coming to independence for a rally of romney supporters. i was determined to be there.

like any good patriot out there, i brought my children. mostly because there was no one to watch them. i naively thought it would be okay. these kids have been many places and sat quietly. we've even made it through the line at the post office at christmas time with flying colors. this could prove to be an actual learning experience for them. a stay-at-home-mom field trip entitled "democracy in action". unfortunately, the action part was reagan, not the riveting speaker. we arrive to the facility early and well snacked. the rally is being held at a reception hall owned by a local constituent. i stake out a table in a corner for us to occupy. reagan spies a grand piano. i redirect him to a granola bar. reagan starts sneaking off to the DJ equipment. i hunt him down and he goes as limp as a rag doll as i drag him back to our area. reagan notices a large window with lacy curtains and decides it is the perfect invisibility cloak. i allow it. soon, we get word that the romneymobile is approaching. reagan must have sensed the excitement and he decides to lay on the floor and pretend to be sleeping. as ann romney and entourage walk in the door, reagan rolls his little body over to the doorway that they are walking through. the first thing they see is him "sleeping" on the floor. real classy.



the following 30 minutes are not spent listening to the next first lady of the united states of america. they are spent plopping down each step on the staircase one thud at a time, dodging people actually listening to ann romney, going out the front door, dragging reagan away from the sign-in area(he wanted to draw pictures), coming back in the front door, searching for santa claus, avoiding the bumper sticker table and pilfering through my purse searching for a swim diaper. (there was a koi pond outside that reagan thought was for swimming.)
i never got to meet ann romney. everyone else in the room was able to shake hands and say hello. i even had a great question prepared. "mrs. romney, which designer do you plan on using for your inaugural ball gown?"(not really) instead, reagan bolted out the side door, ran past the koi pond, through the gazebo and into the huge wooded field behind the reception hall.
luckily, i saw someone i knew and dumped scarlett with them. i literally ran after reagan because he was about 100 feet ahead of me at this point. i could hear his giggles because this was aboviously a game to him. i was cursing myself for wearing a dressy outfit and high heeled boots. my heels were sinking all the way down in the mud and other types of forest splendor. reagan finally stops and sits down next to a wood pile, where someone had recently been chopping wood. i carry him across my arms like the dead meat that he is and i vow to never take him in public again.
my beautiful, clearance price boots will never be the same.

t-bone's top 10

the top ten signs that is was time for t-bone to go back to work.

1. thomas dug out his old high school football jersey and started wearing it to the breakfast table.

2. thomas watched the entire "one tree hill" 2 hour season premiere and spent most of the time wishing that "nathan" would roll his wheelchair into the pool.

3. thomas began meeting the mailcarrier at the mailbox everyday. 4pm sharp. they were practically on a first name basis.

4. thomas perfected his version of gourmet egg mcmuffins.

5. thomas floated the idea of being an at-home, freelance author/philosopher. i sank the idea.

6. thomas wouldn't stop laughing for 2 days when the kansas city chiefs hired chan gailey(former georgia tech head coach) as their new offensive coordinator.

7. thomas stayed on the internet so long one day that he made a $50 contribution to mitt romney's presidential campaign.

8. thomas scrubbed every cookie sheet and baking pan back to shiny, flawless condition.

9. thomas learned the theme songs from mickey mouse clubhouse, the doodlebops and my friends tigger and pooh. by heart.

10. thomas had started giving me blog topic, content and title ideas.

thomas, i loved having you at home with us the after the big move. i'll miss the fun days with you. but i think you are enjoying the time at your new office where there aren't crumbs on everthing. and there are no screaming children. and there are conversations without the word poo poo in it. and no one wipes his nose on your sleeve. we hope.

the power of snow

reagan is the only member of our family showing signs of being a snow fan. the first time he saw the snow, he stood at the kitchen window for about 20 minutes. he was in awe of the fact that the night before we had grass in our yard and then in the morning we didn't. and before you southern readers gasp and wonder if we have supplies to last us a few days in case we are snowed it, don't worry your pretty little sunkissed faces. it usually only snows a few inches. the ice and freezing rain are much worse than the snow.

we were such dummies the day it snowed. we didn't check the weather report and we bundled the kids up for a trip to the gym. we noted on the car ride that there didn't seem to be many people oot and aboot that day. after returning home, we watched the news and their were multiple school closings due to freezing temperatures and slick roads. so glad we braved the elements for a few sweaty minutes at the gym.
reagan testing the snow. he wasn't sure if he was supposed to pick up his feet or if he was going to fall off the snow.
he was pretty pleased with the whole experience. i have found that i can use the threat of snow as a great diversion.

reagan: wanna watch mickey mouse!!! AHAHAHA!

mama: look reagan, i think it is snowing!

and he will stand transfixed at the window watching for any snowflakes, happily forgetting about his prior requests.

or better yet:

reagan: wanna piece of chocwick candy! reagan no wanna eat chicken!

mama: reagan, the snow won't come if you aren't a nice boy and finish your dinner.

i love a little manipulation in parenting.

i am the best parent ever. no contest. the end.

what do you have when you get 300 sugar laden children missing their naptimes(i know of one little boy in particular who ate a small tub full of chocolate chips), 100 stressed out parents, a gabillion jangling toy tambourines, one cd of repetitive children's music and three skittle-colored broadway musical wannabes?
the doodlebops live at independence center!!!

reagan is a pretty big doodlebops fan. most of his musical "training" comes from watching their show. he can strum a guitar, beat some skins, play the piano and shake a tambourine with the best of them. so when i heard that they would be at the mall(or "the center" as those in the know call it) i jumped up, shuffled around and got my groove on and headed to the mall with the kiddies in tow. plus, this event was free. there was no way i was paying $18-30 a pop for the live show. after waiting for more than an hour, we finally got to the front of the line. and reagan entered heaven as he knows it.

this cracked me up! this little kid on the bottom right excitedly stripped his shirt of for the doodlebops to sign.

poor reagan was ecstatic to see them. but he didn't want to sit by them for a picture. i don't blame him. check out that freaky makeup and those weird bulbous fingers.
i left reagan's eyes red on purpose. the picture is even funnier that way.

after we had our turn we just stood and watched them from an upper level at the mall. reagan hardly even blinked. all the way home and for the rest of the night reagan would repeat over and over, "reagan had fun with the doodlebops."

faith

“Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we'll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain.”-Gordon B. Hinckley

a little bit of heaven

since moving back to cow town, as kansas city is affectionately called, we have discovered a few things that we love.



heidi: the mcdonalds by my mom's house has SWIRL CONES!!! this is a huge deal. most mcdonalds don't do that anymore. plus, this mcdonalds workforce makes them colossally large! for pocket change i get a few moments of pure bliss.

thomas: quiktrip is the nearest thing to perfection(or being back in the South). 89 cent coke fountain drinks! what more could any guy ask for? besides georgia being ranked #2 in the final football standings, few things taste as sweet as a cold swaller of coke. and this particular quiktrip is across the street from the swirl cone mcdonalds. talk about a cheap date!

reagan: gramma has a piano! both gramma and reagan are in hog heaven. the quickest way to get to be grandma sandy's favorite grandchild is through piano playing.

scarlett: there is always someone wanting to cuddle and tell me how precious i am.

only 360 more payments and she is all ours!

after much searching we have found our tara. the fact that it does resemble a southern farmhouse is purely coincidental. i promise. i think it must be God's way of helping ease thomas into life in the heartland. we have moved in and we are digging through the mess in hopes of finding some sanity. it must be packed in here somewhere.

a few things i really like about the house:

built in shelves in the master closet. if thomas is real good, i'll let him use them too.

a southern front porch. the tacky screen door is just about to be ripped off its hinges. that wasn't a selling point for me.
it was really sunny in this picture. that smirk on my face means i like it.

dancing a jig in front of the house.

the fireplace
the sweetest little face in the world.

as soon as it was ours, the first thing i did was rip off the lace that was glue gunned to the cabinets. no gracias mi amigas!

the previous owners left us some celebration champagne. now we are really high rollers.

thomas just wasn't in a dancing mood like i was.

return to the motherland

today was the day that i left my adopted home of the deep south to return back to the motherland of the great midwest. i wish that i could say that it was a pleasant and uneventful plane trip, but i can't lie. it is never that easy. especially when reagan and i had only gotten about 3 hours of sleep the night before. wrangling one child by yourself on a long flight is one thing; i had experienced that rodeo numerous times before with minimal problems. wrangling two small children by yourself on a 6am flight with a LONG layover in atlanta(the most ridiculously crowded airport in the universe) is a whole other kettle of fish. the onetime pleasant and enjoyable traveling companion that i once had in reagan was not there today.
i had just watched this bill cosby stand up routine the day before i traveled. i had seen it a few times before, but it really hit home today. perhaps this clip can better describe my experience.



my saving grace of the day was when my anguished and pleading prayer was answered in the form of a former nanny that offered to hold scarlett while reagan and i tangoed through the duration of the flight. i have never had a prayer answered so instantaneously. one minute i am on the verge of tears with two screaming children clinging to my neck and the next moment, both children are calm and soothed. a new year's eve miracle.

family bliss

this pretty much says it all:

*to those with keen vision, i am well aware that i am wearing gold shoes, gold sequin trim and silver jewelry. it's a fashion statement. it's called crazymom. try it.

forever in flip flops

thomas, scarlett and i spent a quick weekend in KC to do some serious house hunting. it was pretty much a dream come true. except for this part:

the view from my mom's driveway. YOW! an ice storm blew in the day before! it was culture shock! we left beautiful, sunny 75 degree weather and we were welcomed by ice, freezing rain and snowflakes. the snowflakes were fun, but the rest was enough to make me want to go back to savannah and deposit myself out in the grass and have the nice autumn breezes waft crunchy leaves on my face!
my mom's back yard view.
the pernicious path of icy doom, also known as the front walk.
why are we doing this? summer clothes are so much cheaper than winter clothes. i feel like i am going to need a whole new wardrobe. especially boots! i guess there are some pluses.
only our burning, passionate love for one another will keep us warm.

most of the house hunting that we did we pretty normal; fresh paint, recently vacuumed carpet, neutral decor. then we came upon this last house. it was the most interesting house we had seen all day.
check out this wallpaper:
this wallpaper covered a huge room with 12 foot walls. at first glance i was rendered speechless. i wish my batteries in my camera had been working better because this horse wallpaper was in 3 different rooms. there was this, a hunter green version and a black version. floor to ceiling. nice. reeeal nice.

what a great way to end a great day of house hunting!

we got back last night and i decided that our little fam was going to enjoy our few remaining weeks of warmth and sunshine until spring rolls around in KC in a few months. we went to the park and "gave the ducks some bwead" as reagan calls it. then we wiled away the time swinging and playing on the slides.

i am determined to wear flip flops, sandals, anything opened toe until we move. perhaps there will even be an appearance of my bare alabaster legs in a skirt. societal conventions be darned!