Thursday, July 17, 2014

holiday! celebrate!

i'm so tired from this summer that if i die, bury me in my swimsuit. that way the undertaker doesn't even have to change my clothes.

i'm still waiting for the day when i stay at home and do nothing all day long. this past week still has not contained that day. the fourth of july, a weekend trip to the ATL and our anniversary were within 5 days.

athena blythe's self-styled fourth of july outfit she put together for the church fourth of july brunch.

scarlett wanted to look like a firecracker and thomas obligingly attached a sparkler to her scooter.

reagan was just happy to be riding his bike in a giant circle over and over again(an autistic dream). 

the highlight of our church fourth of july breakfast:  
just two teenagers in love, slow dancing in the church parking lot.

that afternoon we headed to atlanta for a quick trip. this is how we rock a suburban applebees:
incidentally, thomas is always an excellent tipper.

we stayed in a fawn-cy hotel with an elevator AND a staircase with carpet. which are two things that just thrill our kids.

thomas made all my hopes and dreams come true.

some were less excited.

this is what childhood nightmares are based on. the stay puft marshmallow man and miss piggy got together at some point during one of kermit and piggy's relationship breaks and HELLO! this resulted:

again, athena blythe is a total pill.



scarlett had no idea what she was getting into. plus, before we left, i had to give thomas a pep talk about how we were NOT going to buy any of the children any sort of super overpriced cabbage patch doll. that man cannot say no to his children. there was prolonged eye contact ultimately agreement and a firm handshake. 
i had to explain the history and importance of the cabbage patch doll. how i begged for one and luckily my uncle steve was stationed in korea waaaaaay back in the 1980s and was able to bring me back a "pabbage catch" doll. a 1980s girl triumph! 
i do think scarlett is a bit creeped out by the dolls growing in these cabbage pods. 

i was pretty disappointed in the "birth" of the cabbage patch doll. they definitely pay minimum wage at babyland general hospital. i think the doctor delivering the doll must have gotten her medical license online. i was not impressed. zero vocal inflection and just pulled the doll out of nowhere. if i was delivering cabbage patch dolls, you better believe there would have been some fireworks and dramatics in that show and that baby would have dropped from the sky!

but the setting was incredibly beautiful. 

you know there was a fart joke involved in the taking of this picture:

so, so, weird.

scarlett was more than little annoyed that my cabbage patch pep talk with thomas actually worked and she walked away empty handed. thomas admitted that he felt weak a few times, but was glad that we had decided to deprive our children of yet another overpriced toy. we love our kids that much.

one the way back to town we stopped at the BEST ice cream stand. frozen yogurt is for babies. hard scoop ice cream is for women who plan on taking over the world. 
they had a giant cow out so i felt like that was a sign that i should go ahead and eat whatever i want. the bulging veins on the udder absolutely gross me out but was oddly recognizable. not everything needs to be completely anatomically correct.

we like each other. and yes, athena blythe is practically naked and tempting death. please, please give me all your best parenting advice and internet shaming in the comments section.


HJolley said...

HAHA. That cabbage patch hospital looks excellent, laced with absolute creepiness.

Hard Scoop Girls Unite! This Fro Yo craze the world is experiencing is just a temporary phase.

Jenna said...

SO many funny parts about this I cannot choose one to highlight. One of my favorite posts ever.

Jeppson Clan said...

I love everything about this post. That couple dancing in the parking lot is icing on the cake! I'm jealous of your trip to Cabbage Patch HQ, every 80's child's dream. (Who am I kidding 1976) I miss your humor so much! Matt just got a "new" job position here in K.C. so looks like we're here for a bit longer. Any plans to visit your mom in the near future?!

Emily Curfew said...

if you lived in between my ears, i'd be laughing all day long.

Lindsey said...

I'm pretty sure my parents never took me there knowing fully well I would runaway from home if they didn't buy me one. I have video of my first CPDoll at age 2. I was in love. Loved this post! The heads are totally creeptacular. I am also a hard scoop girl!

Merilee said...

Man, I just love reading your blog. It's a real treat. I was surprised to read you were moving again, but I shouldn't be I suppose. Also, I read the Reagan school debacle post. What a nightmare. Good job on bringing Thomas! Charles always tells me to focus on other stuff when I start stressing out, so I totally feel you sister.