Monday, October 19, 2009

i like the way i work it, no diggity

i cry a lot. A LOT. more than your average bear.
saturday, i ran in the kansas city marathon, the half-marathon portion. it was great. i thoroughly enjoyed getting up earlier than anyone else on earth to run on saturday mornings. i thoroughly enjoyed talking about running and my practice courses. i thoroughly enjoyed carb-loading. and milk chocolate chip loading. (did you know i have a chocolate chip eating compulsion? my hand is permanently cupped because of how often i am holding a personal stash of chocolate chips. it's bad. crazy bad. kanye west crazy bad.) and sometimes when i am running, i will tear up. i just love it. i love the feeling of freedom from running and i can't hold my emotions in.

the night before the race, i teared up whilst carb-loading. i was that excited. the morning of, i let a few tears slip out as i read the love/encouragement note from thomas. i pretended that i had allergies when i got into my car and heard that thomas had queued up one of my all time favorite running songs, "we run" by sugarland.

i got misty when i saw that this man had pulled his old letterman's jacket out to wear to the race so that i could more easily spot him in the throngs of people.
my vision was completely blurred because i saw this homeless looking person waiting for me at the finish line. (apparently, once you move to las vegas you forget how cold it is when you come back to visit kansas city and have nothing to wear but your brother's castoffs. never mind that we are having an unusually cold october.)

i cried when i saw my dad. it meant the world to me to see him there.
this was my running crew. we all rode to the race together and it was so great be a part of this group. i cried unashamedly when we said a group pre-race prayer. it's so nice to have friends you can pray with.
i had a fantastic time running MOST of this race. it was a real treat to run with a friend for a good part of it. carie and i matched paces for a good portion. she has a great stride and i could feel her pulling me with her. it's really nice to rely on someone else's strength. then i hit mile 8. and could tell that i was needed to refuel a touch. i slowed for some gatorade and then when i was trying to speed up again, i felt myself hit a wall. the dreaded wall!!! i should have just said to heck with electrolytes and kept going. it was terrible. my beautiful pace was gone. i was crushed. i cried out of sadness for the first time that day. my run turned ugly. like a robot dancing in glue. i was so angry that i wasn't going to reach my goal of finishing in under 2 hours.
but i kept on keeping on.
i eventually sped up a little. but i mostly just concentrated on finishing.
the effort is what is important. that i really tried.
practice makes permanent.
i can do hard things.
i tried to believe all that.
and i finished. i was a touch disappointed when i crossed at 2 hours 1 minutes 20 seconds. but happy to be done. i was feeling fine. i cheered other runners on. i enjoyed the race atmosphere.
i ate my snacks and guzzled my water. then i realized that i was cold. REALLY COLD. it was still only about 9am and the weather was in the 40s. i was wearing my cold weather compression pants but just a stretchy long sleeve t-shirt. and i sweated my guts out whilst running. my shirt was soaked and i was freezing. and then i didn't feel so well. then i felt really bad.

how bad? this bad:
this picture isn't a completely accurate representation of my illness as i would never wear such awful shorts and only dreamt of throwing up. that dream evaded me. but i was sick. blue lips. uncontrollable full body shaking. doubled over. that sort of crazy feeling where sentences are hard to form and you are wondering why there is a dancing gnome standing next to you. and i don't really remember the drive home. when i got home(how did i get home? i think thomas was involved. my hero. i do recall dumping a bottle of gatorade on my seat.) i took that awful frozen shirt off and crawled into my bed and thought about girl's camp and how to avoid hypothermia. and then i tried not to cry. after about an hour i was okay. but now i am going to invest in a cold compression shirt to match my pants. i have learned my lesson about running around like a fool with no hat and only a light shirt in cold weather.
and then i got online to check my official finish time:
1:59:57
three precious seconds!
so i cried some more out of happiness!

ps- my darling sister was in town this weekend.
we celebrated a happy early heatherween!

she's the best. and the kindest. and the most loving. she's the good sister. the righteous sister. the elinor to my marianne dashwood. and i miss her terribly.

17 comments:

Angie said...

Nice time! Congratulations on the race.

Carie said...

First, let's clear the record: YOU are the one with the awesome stride. You carried me. I seriously hit a wall about mile 5 and felt like I was riding your coat tails.

Also, for those interested: mile 8 begins a 2 mile uphill stretch. Two miles, UP HILL. Not easy.

I am so glad you made your record. You are my favorite.

Jeppson Clan said...

i love you heidi, you are amazing. thanks for answering all my million running questions. (you and carie). cheers to completing goals!

Jessica said...

you are officially my hero, my role model, and my inspiration. all wrapped up in one fashionable package.

wow! i LOVED reading this post. after i saw your facebook status the other day with your time i started looking up half-marathons for me to run next year. and then today, for the first time in about a year, i got on the treadmill to run. and even though i was only running in 60 second segments i was seriously dying by the end of my workout. BUT. like you said. i can do this! i can do hard things!

you look awesome by the way. love ya like a sister! :)

Nicole said...

I am SERIOUSLY SOOOOOOOOOOO Proud of you!!! Maybe one day I will come up there and run it with you!

Merilee said...

Inspirational. I haven't run in a while...

I was a little disappointed when I saw the homeless person comment turn into Heather. It was hilarious, but I thought you were going to have a good homeless person story. I don't have many of those, but I'd like to.

I've felt that way after running 13 miles. Especially after hills. My 14 miler I had to walk the end, because it was uphill and my knees were exploding with pain.

Way to go! Way to not throw up! Hope you weren't too sore! I'm also suuuuper glad Heather came down, even though I only saw her for 3 minutes Sunday.

Stimpson's said...

AWESOME JOB, HEIDI!!! You are amazing! So proud of you!!!

Elizabeth said...

Congrats on meeting your goal!!! That's awesome...

tessa said...

Heidi! Do you remember me? Tessa (Fletcher) Watson from BS? I just stumbled over from Merilee Peterson's. She left a comment on our Fletcher family blog www.finefletchers.blogspot.com today. Of course you have a daughter named Scarlett. I still think of you when I hear that name. Awesome on the race. I'm into running too. I did a full back in the day but mainly train for halves and less now. You're the real deal though - fast! I'm pretty slow (and pushing a triple jogger most days in 90 degrees.) We're in Phoenix, AZ moved from Birmingham, AL 3 yrs ago. If you don't mind I'm excited to look around and see you and your family's latest. Take care! Tess

Paula said...

When I grow up I want to be just like Heidi Ann Beck Simpson. For real though, I am seriously considering doing a half this summer all because of your example. You are amazing.

Leigh Collins said...

Hey, I need some good training advice! Three girlfriends and I are starting to train for a half in Nashville in April. I've already started running about 2 miles several days a week so that I can get into the groove again! It's been forever since I've really run!

Todd said...

Loved this post. Brookie and I admire your runningness. That was a great time. Congrats.

I also admire anyone able to flawless integrate Blackstreet into their post titles. No doubt.

Becca said...

way to pull through, Heidi! I was thinking about you Saturday. That is great Heather was able to come.

Barry & Margo Swartz said...

YOU ROCK!!!

Comm 240 Blog Health Care Reform Blog said...

way to go sport! and yes, i think methdependence day is a great idea for christmas break.
mark

The High Family- said...

I almost died when I saw your time. For real you killed my time. You are my hero! I am going to make a Heidi fan club. Can I be president? Love you girl!I want to run with you so you can make me run faster, dang different states we live in.

Livin' Single said...

you are the best runner in the world. and everyone knows that marianne is the cool one. do you make thomas read poems by firelight?