your concern since my little accident last friday has been most appreciated. you are too kind. however, since it has been SEVERAL days since the treadmill massacre,(as it will be heretofore be referred to as) would you please stop mentioning it every chance you get? there ARE other things to talk about. i am okay. actually, i am better than okay! i am superb!
while i know that i am about as athletically inclined as a baby deer taking it's first steps, the long wary glances toward the scene of the accident are unneccesary. though i have a few visible bruises, the deep, penetrating gazes into my eyes to make sure that i am not lying about being okay are a little more than just creepy. your gasp of horror when i stepped onto the treadmill today was beyond silly. i am already paranoid about my clumsiness; your obsession with my personal well-being is making it worse. i ran today and it felt GREAT! however, having you stand 3 feet from the treadmill while i ran made me extremely uncomfortable. please cease and desist or i will be forced to switch gyms.
i am also grateful for your concern. but yesterday was just plain weird. thank you for asking me if i am okay. but, no thank you for asking me in a very loud voice so that everyone in a 20 foot radius could hear you, about the large, strange bump on my forehead. no, it is not a bruise from the tragic treadmill massacre. it's just a really big zit on the middle of my forehead. i am an adult who has been blessed with adult acne. thanks for pointing it out and making everyone else aware too. you're the best.