about 5 years ago, before we moved from south carolina, i had a very hurtful experience that left me very gun shy about reagan's social inclusion. i learned about a birthday party that reagan had not been invited to for a child who i had thought was one of reagan's friends and whose mother i thought was one of my close friends. i learned about it in a way that left me feeling very mad. there are a lot of gory and hurtful details that i won't leave here, but it still makes me very angry and sad to this day. it's something i can't think about too much or i will still cry. i think some people think reagan doesn't notice exclusion, but he was the first one to put together that he hadn't been invited to the party. he's often keenly aware of how people treat him though he may not have the ability to decipher or handle a situation the way you or i would. he probably handles some situations better than i would because he has no guile or passive aggression in his questioning. i love a good comeback that can sting for hours. reagan just wants the truth.
but
"sometimes humility is overcoming hurt feelings when we feel others have mistreated us."
quentin l. cook
so i still have much to work on in that department.
contrast that with reagan's boy scout camp out during easter weekend. reagan loves scouts but mostly just the attending and being around the other boys part. he calls them his team. the boys are so kind to reagan and they always make him feel included. reagan will not attend an overnight scout camp out. i don't blame him. i like my bed too. however, reagan's scout leader, johnny murphy, who acts exactly like you would think a man named johnny murphy would act, suggested that we have the scout camp out in our backyard. i said, "heck, why not!? what are we going to lose?" so the scouts planned a backyard camp out and we had pizza and watched a movie and i got a cake for reagan. everyone sang to reagan and reagan made it to 10 pm before he went up the stairs and crawled into his bed. 10 pm is 3 am to reagan. i woke up early and made my fantastic pancakes for the troop as a thank you for accommodating our special needs. then all the scouts went to the middle school field and played ultimate frisbee. maybe it was a small gesture to them but it was a huge deal to our family. being included makes a difference. i want to be the person that makes the effort to make a difference for others.
but
"sometimes humility is overcoming hurt feelings when we feel others have mistreated us."
quentin l. cook
so i still have much to work on in that department.
contrast that with reagan's boy scout camp out during easter weekend. reagan loves scouts but mostly just the attending and being around the other boys part. he calls them his team. the boys are so kind to reagan and they always make him feel included. reagan will not attend an overnight scout camp out. i don't blame him. i like my bed too. however, reagan's scout leader, johnny murphy, who acts exactly like you would think a man named johnny murphy would act, suggested that we have the scout camp out in our backyard. i said, "heck, why not!? what are we going to lose?" so the scouts planned a backyard camp out and we had pizza and watched a movie and i got a cake for reagan. everyone sang to reagan and reagan made it to 10 pm before he went up the stairs and crawled into his bed. 10 pm is 3 am to reagan. i woke up early and made my fantastic pancakes for the troop as a thank you for accommodating our special needs. then all the scouts went to the middle school field and played ultimate frisbee. maybe it was a small gesture to them but it was a huge deal to our family. being included makes a difference. i want to be the person that makes the effort to make a difference for others.
5 comments:
This post made me cry! I can totally relate. Some people can be so ignorant! And some people can be so kind. I love the quote you shared from Elder Cook. Amen to that!
being (and FEELING) included makes all the difference in the world! i'm so glad reagan was able to enjoy a camp out experience in a way that worked for him. :)
Heidi, it makes me so happy when you have happy moments, and wonderful people around you. Thank heavens, there are good and understanding people out there. I remember when you first told me you were moving away from SC to GA... and I was so sad for you bc i knew that was a place you loved, and moving is a pain, and it was unexpected, and the timing with a 4th pregnancy wasn't ideal. however, heidi, you put it all the work, and you are reaping the blessings, and i'm grateful you are blessed with good scout leaders and good friends in your new area. love you so much, and you sharing your good (and bad/sad/hard) experiences. You clearly recognize the hand of God in your life and share it with others.
This is the best post ever. May I share it in primary this year when I'm in charge of sharing time? Very helpful. I love Reagan so much! And he's right--these boys really are his TEAM!
Totally emotional. I am so glad the scout leader decided to have the campout in your backyard! This is the kind of story you hear about in General Conference! I LOVE IT!
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