Friday, September 20, 2013

being calm is not my thing

i cannot claim to be a paragon of calm and serenity. i feel like on the edge of crazy way too often. so when ol' pizza farts himself(meatball, the un-wonder dog) took a chunk out of blythe's hand on sunday evening, i was at an all time high on the frantic reaction scale. poor, little blythe just loves that dog so much and he hates all of us, all of the time. 
he hasn't always been a vicious attack dog, though he does have prior history of biting. (nicole, i'm more sorry about that than ever! so. sorry.) each kid has only added in his contempt for us mere humans. 
sunday night we had spent a few minutes petting and loving meatball and i went to do some dishes(made some homemade cafe rio thanks to a recipe from my college roomate amy. thank you facebook for that love connection. it was a success. thank you very much.) blythe followed him around the corner to his food dish and he took a bite outta crime. 
when i got to her she was covered in blood. i wasn't sure where he had bitten her because there was blood all over her face because she had rubbed her hand on her face. i got her wiped up a bit and when i saw the two gashes on her arm i knew i wanted to take her to the emergency room. i called my friend karina and thankfully she could decipher my breathy, gulpy crying and she came to get the big kids. i was loading up blythe when i realized that her carseat was in thomas' car and he was at the church teaching a teacher development class. lucky for me, i got to drive up there and make an appearance in my bleachiest, sweatiest sweatpants and holey-est holiest BYU t-shirt from 13 years ago. of course i didn't have a key to thomas' car so i actually had to barge into the meeting and demand his immediate attention to procure said carseat. as you can imagine, i was about as coherent as ozzy osbourne at a pharmaceutical convention. lots of pointing and grunting. 

i successfully made it to the ER at this point. she was calm and the best thing i could say about myself was that i had two matching shoes on. right before the doctor came in i had the presence of mind to put lip gloss on, because that really pulled the rest of my "look" together. the doctor glanced at blythe's hand and said while the cuts were deep, they couldn't stitch because of their location. the nurse came in a washed her up and wrapped her and sent us on our way.

little lamb was in a lot of pain for most of the night and spent a solid hour in the morning just sitting quietly on the couch, a great indicator that she wasn't feeling well.

i think she did take some pleasure with playing with some of scarlett's favorite toys without her knowledge while she was at school. 

i cleaned her wound the next day according to doctor's instructions. the red on her arm is where infection was spreading. excellent. i took her into her pediatrician after i got the big kids from school and took scarlett to ballet.

everyone should take all their kids to the doctor's office at 5:45pm on a monday afternoon. this was during a break in the body slamming in our examination room.

she wouldn't let me put her arm in her shirt.

after an hour at the doctor we were finally able to go home. i was sitting in the car by myself scrolling instagram, as i am wont to do when i'm not ready to face reality inside the house, and scarlett strolled out of the house like this:
this is how we solve problems at our house. a girl after my own heart. a baby spoon makes you feel like you are eating a huge glob of nutella when it's really not that big as opposed to eating a huge glob on a regular sized spoon. perfect logic.

evidence of my stressful day:

blythe is still undaunted. she was so excited to see him when we got home. too bad his days are numbered.
anyone looking to adopt an old, grumpy dog who hates kids? also likes to eat dirty diapers. that's his only trick.


lrbodine said...

Poor Blythe! I feel so bad for her but yet your storytelling still had me laughing. I hope she recovers fast and the dog gets a new home.

Jessica said...

oh no!!! i am HORRIBLE in emergency situations like that. poor little blythe. and i agree with lachelle. i was totally laughing out loud at the baby spoon/nutella logic! i hope blythe is feeling better soon. :)

HJolley said...

Lip gloss and nutella seem like great problem solvers to me!

Julie said...

Oh no! I hope she heals up quickly!

Lindsey said...

AHHH poor Blythe!! Oh my word! That is horrible!

amy said...

woot woot! I got a shout-out! :) oh, and really sorry about your baby's hand...that is the saddest thing ever :( I once got rid of a dog for licking my baby's face, so I am totally on your side with this! glad she's on the mend!

Emily Curfew said...

ok, i can't even handle how funny you are. so sorry for blythe. you may not be calm in face of emergency, but ya sure are darn hilarious recapping it.

and your "scene" from docs office room looks very familiar ;) espeically the pic you recently posted on insta with teh box of goldfish on the floor. ours is usually a combo of that. hahaha

so the burning question i have is, does blythe still like dogs??? or does she hate them now??? Cuz if she hates them now, i think i would sacrifice pearce's hand to a dog for her to never like another dog again. hahhahah

markbeck said...

Me and Shayla want the dog. Great post.

markbeck said...

Me and Shayla want the dog. Great post.