recently, reagan was diagnosed with autism. after years of concern and months of testing and waiting, this did not come as a surprise. i think i have known for quite a while. the news came as a relief. answers! as a mother, i believe that you can know things about your children that no one else can. for a long time i was filled with guilt and anxiety that i hadn't done something right. that i was missing something. in actuality, one of the most important parenting lessons i have learned is that when you do have those feelings, that means you are doing something right because you are aware and you are caring. moms are privy to feelings that i know to be God-given. i have always known reagan to be a smart and kind and wonderful boy. he is so special. but i also felt that he was struggling with things that he couldn't articulate. things that didn't even seem to bother him much, except for when others would participate and he would have a hard time interacting. and even then, being alone didn't bother him.
after we heard from the doctor reagan's diagnosis of having high-functioning autism, i was overwhelmed with one thought, everything is going to be okay. not perfect, not easy, not always great, but okay. and i'm good with that. i know that was the Spirit speaking to my heart and my mind. i feel so much peace. i know that the Spirit guides and prompts and comforts.
a few people that i have told have asked how i knew. for me there are 2 main indicators. the first was from his 3k pre-school teacher ms. angela. she was very aware that reagan was struggling socially, but not academically. she got us started on the road to figuring out what to do. my other indicator was scarlett. scarlett is a very warm, out-going and loving child. scarlett was always giving me hugs and kisses and telling me that she loved me. she is a communicator. reagan has only told me that he loves me one time. i remember everything about that moment. it still brings tears to my eyes. it is one of my most precious memories. scarlett has been such a blessing as she pulls reagan out of his shell and reagan keeps scarlett from jumping off the fridge or whatever antic she is up to that day. they are best friends! i know their relationship and their places in our family are no coincidence.
so, we are moving forward. reagan will always be mainstreamed in school because that is how he learns best. we expect great things from him because he is so smart. we know we will learn together and that our family will be strengthened and united. we are a happy family. we have plenty of struggles but i don't like to dwell on that. everybody had got their thing. this is just one of ours.
we have autism and everything is going to be okay.