Wednesday, August 13, 2008

everybody loves a stereotype or my love/hate relationship with utah

warning!!! there are 35 pictures in this post. and since i hate photo collages and slideshows, cancel your afternoon plans and read!
reasons i hate photo collages and slideshows:
1. you really can't see the pictures that well.
2. it's an ordeal to click on a picture to view it bigger.
3. if you choose to print your blog into a book via you might was well go ahead and post all your desired pictures.
4. slideshows always take freaking forever when there are usually only a few pictures i want to see and the rest are really for family, right???

anywhooo, daventine got married last weekend in utah and our little fam damily took a vacation out to utah for the special occasion. i am one of those people who loves to visit utah, but i couldn't live there. except in the summer when the weather is wonderful and sunny and dry and not humid and wonderful. so, without further delay:

a pictorial retrospective of the good, the bad and the ugly pf our family vacation. and if you are wondering, i tried to play up as many stereotypes as possible! just for fun!

good: reagan watching the airplanes at the denver airport.

good: daventine's sealing in the salt lake temple.

bad: baby snot all over my hand

bad: our teeny, tiny rental car that our family could barely fit our stroller, luggage and bodies into. thank goodness none of those crazy I-15 drivers hit us, or we would have been goners.

bad: changing scarlett's whole outfit in the denver airport...
...because her diaper leaked all over me.

fun: being with big T and hiking the Y...

...for the first time in my life.
good, bad or ugly(you choose): being with my cousins, austin, nate, brandon and my brother marky mark.

good: visiting with grandma bonnie and enjoying her chigger-free grass and her mountain views.

good: watching the happy couple get their pictures taken by the lovely mary

fantastic: seeing the wonderful and amazing jan, my boss from my college years who was sooo good to me. she certainly put up with a lot of grief and accidentally bared midriffs.

AWESOME: the cougareat, also known as the koo-ghar-eee-uht in heidi-speak. many hours were spent here people watching with the posse. the easiest way to skip a class??? find a friend and get a milkshake, or some cheesy fries, or a wrap from L&T.
awesomer: eating at the famed brick oven pizzeria, the one-time employment of the fabulous jessica creer

good and weird: the view from Y mountain of a couple of LDS chapels sharing the same gigantic parking lot. only in utah...

awesomely bad: big T's and little h's first apartment together, the villa rose #17. we were the one with the bike. what a dump. hell threw up and this is what was left. but we were happy. and it was in this little apartment with the rotten carpet and no dish washer where i gained 15 pounds of pure velveeta fat. we have certainly come a long way baby!

SELF-RIGHTEOUSLY AWESOME: the daily universe's reader's forum. today's topic, the hypocrisy of having caffeine-free products on campus. LOVE IT!!! it never changes and it never gets old. i do have a hankering for a nice tall dr. pepper. next week's letter, why can't male students have beards on campus without having to obtain a beard card? brigham young had a beard! i'm sure jesus christ wouldn't have to obtain a beard card.

CRAZY AWESOME: earnestly chocolate ice cream. heaven on earth.

CRAZIER AWESOME: the creamery on ninth. high prices, low wages, bags of cheese curds and tons of available freshman within walking distance. especially freshmen with dining plus. i was on the lookout for one who would want to help out a family of four with healthy appetites.

chocolate covered gross bad: displays of chocolate covered cinnamon bears that some people claim to love. chocolate covered barf in a bag if you ask me. bleah.

not that good, but not terrible like chocolate covered cinnamon bears: minty brownies from sugar and spice. available at EVERY byu catering catered function, with a side of cream puffs and a cup of byu sparkle. high class folks.

good and bad: thomas' apartment in the colony. he LOVED the colony. too bad no one in his apartment loved it enough to clean the bathroom on the main floor. gross, like a chocolate covered cinnamon bear.

WAY bad: that dump of a house that was across from my dump of a house on 470 east. who can remember the nickname we gave the couple who lived there and would always come out on their front lawn to fight???

so bad it was good and probably a health hazard too: the little house on 470 east 620 north. absentee landlord(slumlord), no heat for about 2 months in winter, no A/C in the summer so that we had to lay on the floor in our underwear. about 600 square feet of total luxury. our own slice of pioneer ancestry.

TERRIBLE- the wash hut. or the unwashed hut as i recall. that's all i can say about that. it was next to the infamous crown 5. sorry no pics of that "crown" jewel of byu approved housing. just thumb through your memories girls.

the one place on campus you absolutely dressed to impress:- the harold b. lee library. or as heather my dear sister would say, "what the HBLL are you doing?" or as i would say, "the meat market". gotta give mad props to all the studying that didn't happen in periodicals.

most surprising change to campus- the gordon b. hinckley alumni house. took my breath away. beautiful and amazing building. i proudly signed the guestbook with heidi-2002 and thomas-2003

best thing at BYU that i forgot about- those random people who always felt the need to be playing the piano at every building on campus. did anyone else notice that, or was it just me? some people must wake up and say, "get me to a piano on campus, i must grace everyone's ears with MY perfect piano melodies!" wherever we went, it never failed. the true sign of the apocalypse would be a un-played piano at BYU.

horribly awesome- the most played out stereotype EVER: long, hideous jumper dress with huge ill-fitting t-shirt underneath, longlonglong straight unconditioned hair, birkenstock sandals, and some sort of multicolored woven bag from a third world country, most likely picked up on a mission. sorry if that is a picture of your sister.

love/hate it, the marriage factory: love all the bridal guides and whatnot produced by people looking to capitalize on utah's marriage craze. hate all the pressure for people to get married after 3 long weeks of courtship.

so great is borders on wonderful: all the missionaries at the salt lake airport embarking on their 18 months or 2 years of missionary service. i saw this huge bus from the MTC with about 50 departing missionaries on it. i stood there taking pictures like a sobbing fool as i watched them get ready to go and share the gospel all over the world.

nostalgia overload good: checking out the message board in the wilk. plenty of never been worn engagement rings for sale, numerous only-been-worn-once-wedding dresses for sale, that random motorcyle for sale and last but not's and women's apartment contracts for fall semester!!! i felt like i needed to put a little sign up there that said, "don't fall for it! avoid the crown apartments, or any place i lived for that matter!!!"

the quickest way to pick up a ax murderer good: the RIDE board! who doesn't want to take a road trip with perfect strangers??? we read one that said, "we don't care where you are going, we just love road trips!!!" sounds safe to me kids. run that one past your mom, she will love it!

high-calorie wonderful: the candy counter in the book store. along with that 15 pounds of velveeta fat was about 5 extra pounds of reese's pieces and otis spunkmeyer fat. i exhibited no self control. thomas took a leap of faith when he married me.

the end. our little family had the best time visiting utah. can't wait to do it again. perhaps i should check the ride board and see who wants to drive out with me?


Mindi said...

we INVENTED stereotypes!!! yeeewwwwtahhhh!!!!

great photos--love the stories. makes me feel like I went to byu. (a real leap for this gal!)

Paula said...

LOVED, LOVED, LOVED this post. I can't stop laughing. Oh the memories- especially the ones with "our" house. You know I have never hiked the Y? I tried to go multiple times but it never worked out. I am happy that you enjoyed your trip to Utah and I totally agree-I love to visit but can't really live there.

lrbodine said...

I loved it! So funny to think back on all those crazy BYU things (especially the piano playing and the long mission skirts).

Kristen said...

it wasn't just the one ever cleaned anything in that colony apt. everytime i walked in the door i thought i was walking into a giant smelled so bad.

Sarah Beck said...

fun post heidi, i'll have to tell you my horror story of the ride board sometime (it involves hitch hiking with John Denver and Joni Mitchell in the middle of Wyoming)

Paula said...

The swimsuit is a juicy couture from this year. They have a couple of different styles and colors but I really wanted the pink. I tried and tried to win one on ebay (in anything) but when they started out at 40-50 and then worked up to 75+ or a buy it now at 115, it was too much for me.

Wade, Nicole, Nora, & Audrey said...

Funny! I just came from utah and also visited about half of those places as well! I agree with you much, especially the bircenstock girl! Awwww...I love Mormon Culture!!!

Jessica said...

hahahahahahaha. hahahahahaha. i was laughing through almost the whole post. especially lines like "sorry if this is your sister" and "15 pounds of pure velveeta fat" and "our own slice of pioneer history." i think i'm about to start weeping for those long lost days of yesteryear. we really need to have our rogers posse 10 year reunion right back where it all started. homecoming trip, anyone?

and heidi, your hair looks awesome! i especially like how you have it styled in the photo with jan. the kids are looking sooper cute, and i of course love the shout-out to my brief stint as a waitress at the good old brick oven. *sigh* memories...

Carie said...

Never tried cinnamon bears + chocolate. I like both, but think I will pass. My treat of choice from the BYU bookstore was sour patch kids. I loaded up every day before heading to the HBLL to "study."

Hilarious post, bring back lots of good times.

Julianne said...

OH MY GOSH...I am still laughing out loud. I agree WHOLE-HEARTEDLY with every single thing you posted!! The good and the bad! OH my gosh, I laughed out loud at that picture of the girl wearing that jumper thing...oh yes, they're still there. And the Earnestly Chocolate ice cream...oh yes, that is a good thing. And, "We don't care where you're going, we love road trips!"???? FOR REAL?? Oh my gosh, this is so funny. I think I will look at it again.

Cherilee Howden said...

Seriously Heidi, I have to stop reading your blog while I'm at work because I can't help laughing out loud hysterically and the other people in the office already think I'm crazy as it is.

It was great to see you even if it was only for a few minutes while you were out here. I'm glad to see that the good, awesome, and awesomer outweighed the bads for your trip.

Also, I have to say that I really do LOVE chocolate covered cinnamon bears as does pretty much my entire family. They are awesome! I'm sad to hear your great dislike for them. Have you actually tried them?

Shanna said...

I LOVE THIS POST! So funny - and I am so glad you included all the pictures. Ernestly chocolate - YUM. I do feel bad for those freshman that don't get to enjoy Kent's Market, however, for the new Creamery on 9th. Its a good thing that wasn't there when we were freshman!! And the Wash Hut! How I would love to forget that place! I totally forgot about the craziness in the Daily Universt. LOVE IT.

becky said...

This is shear, insane, awesomely brilliant wonderfulness! Brings back my own tortured/fantastic BYU memories. That place is truly unique, er, INSANE!

You, my dear, are a master!

Ashley said...

I agree with your opinion of photo collages and slide shows. Thanks for avoiding those!

Angie said...

Oh I'm dying. That was hilarious!!!! Oh joy do I miss Provo. Good times. I'm going to forward this to Dave.

I'm surprised the ride board is still there. So scary. I think people are a little too trusting in Provo.

I'm so jealous of the Earnestly Chocolate ice cream. Soo yummy. Nothing beats the Creamery on Night East (aka the CONE :-) Seriously the easiest job I've ever had.
Um and I don't get why people like the mint brownie. I always thought it tasted like toothpaste on my brownie. It was wrong.

Julianne said...

OK, I just re-looked at this post for another laugh...I have to say, those random piano players in every building on campus are crazy! And -- the Daily Universe Reader's Forum...oh dear, that was always a source of entertainment. And that darn Wash Hut. We did our laundry there right after we got married...can't say I miss the place (the Wash Hut or Utah, which one???).

Here's to Provo/BYU. Some things never change!

amanda said...

Oh my gosh- I loved this post!
Now I am going to go and change out of my long jumper with ill-fitting t-shirt. Ha!

It was good to see a picture of Jan too!

Katy said...

actually, that was my sister, but your blog is so hilariously funny tht it's OK. I never heard about the ride board from my brother (he graduated from BYU); that is kind of scary. I'm glad you had a good time!

Jeanine said...

Fabulous times 10. I felt like I was right there in the thick of it.

The High Family- said...

It is so funny that you have a complex with utah like I do with idaho. When I was in college I swore I would never marry anyone from Idaho since I hated the weather. Well, that one bit me in the butt! Anyway, you are hilarious. Glad your trip was eventful.

Lindsey Andersen said...

I am obsessed with you right now. I'm so sad I missed you when you were here.

Chantel said...

I FOUND YOU!!! Chantel here!! you know, your midnight icecream friend girls night where everyone else dogged out?? Maybe you forgot I now live in Utah and you failed to call to say hello!! GROUNDED! I lost your number, my phone died and with it all numbers from Missouri! BUT, I did it...I found you! PLEASE call or email me!!!!!

The Archibald Family said...

Heidi, loved the pictures, but especially your commentary. I check in on your guys often. Reading your blog reminds me of the days when we would go to institute with our boys, trying really hard to have some kind of spiritual experience (maybe). Fun times. We miss you guys! By the way, we're in China now! Talk about fun!

Mink News said...

pretty dang funny.

Mackenzie said...

So I have the same guilty pleasure as you. I love to read other peoples blogs, but mine is worse, I do it on company time!!! Anyways. I will keep trying to think of a nickname, but it seems to me that you, heather and my mother have a corner on the market for being silly. This is Heather's friend who came to visit, btw.