my phone has been talking to my garage door opener and my printer dock, who already hate me and are selective listeners to my demands, and it has decided to stop talking to my computer so i can't download any of the pictures from the last month. no one wants to read a post sans photos and a technological revolt against me is alive and well in georgia.
i'll just tell you about two weeks ago. it was "colonial day" at scarlett's school and i signed up to help minimally but it still consumed me. in a nutshell, i'm terrible at managing my life even with simple tasks. i don't struggle with anxiety like i used to but i still have brief moments of panic when despite all my best efforts and extensive planning, i can't make things happen. it started with corn husks for a pilgrim doll craft. i couldn't find any and they were due monday and it was tuesday. every other week of the year, i can walk straight to the corn husks at walmart or kroger, but the week of the project, none were to be found. each employee that i inquired of at the three grocery stores i went to looked at me blankly, as if i asked for gold bullion at the grocery store. i finally had a wonderful friend rescue me from my plight by offering the ones she had on hand.
then friday's dilemma involved heavy cream for butter churning. i bought my contribution a week in advance so that i'd have it ready, but the morning of was a whirlwind of pilgrim costume styling and i was up extra late baking a few dozen cookies for all the teacher to take home for thanksgiving (which frankly, irks me. isn't a week off from school treat enough? and i think supporting teachers in practical ways is essential. i digress.) and scarlett walked out the door without it. i went to the gym and i was KILLING it on the treadmill. making great time and feeling fantastic. then it popped in my head that the heavy cream was still in the refrigerator. GASP! i'm determined to not be the deadbeat mom of this generation of children! i'd already turned in the corn husks late! earlier in the year a bunch of my forms had been misplaced so i had to fill everything else again and of course everyone made it sound like i had not turned them in. i was FRAMED. i feel extra pressure to perform when i've under-performed previously. i know how some other mom's talk! i remember how alana wieczorek from high school got all the good parts in the school musicals, even though she was a dreadful singer and actress, because her mom made all the costumes. i know how things work! i will write secret checks to certain organizations if that's what it takes. but, of course, i'll probably forget to send my bribe check in on time because i'm scatterbrained!
anywho, i'm trying to figure out the best way to get the heavy cream to the elementary school on the other side of town from my gym. i wish i could have just said screw it because i want to get 5 miles in today! but, duty prevails and i jump off the tread, grab hersch and drive like a maniac to my house to get the cream. no point in stopping at the store for more because my house is by the school. of course, 85 is a mess and i didn't cool down at all so i am drenched with sweat in my sweatshirt. i finally get to the school and drag hersch in, because this was a good time to throw a fit about being dragged around town by his merciless mother. i take the cream inside, looking like a drowned rat, and ask the receptionist to allow me to take the cream to the classroom. take note, this is when you should straight up lie to a bedraggled mom. the receptionist sniffs and looks at me, "they've already finished the butter. you're too late." if i'm ever a receptionist, i'm going to tell lies. i'm going to tell moms who are killing themselves to get stuff done that i'll gladly take their contribution right away, they don't need to know whether it's used. they just need to know that their effort was noted. lie to me! tell me sweet little lies!
so, i'm just mad at everyone at this point. and crazy sweaty. i get in my car after another brief tussle with hersch and start driving down the road. i pull off my sweatshirt at the light and start driving, not realizing that i've also pulled off my running tank. i'm driving around town in just my sports bra for about 20 minutes because i magically got green on every light or only sat at red lights long enough to wrestle with my shirt, but not get it back on. at least i was finally cooling off.
later that day when i picked up athena blythe, she came out wearing a shirt i did not recognize. according to her teacher, athena blythe had fallen into the toilet at school and drenched her shirt.
i know the feeling.
the end.
then friday's dilemma involved heavy cream for butter churning. i bought my contribution a week in advance so that i'd have it ready, but the morning of was a whirlwind of pilgrim costume styling and i was up extra late baking a few dozen cookies for all the teacher to take home for thanksgiving (which frankly, irks me. isn't a week off from school treat enough? and i think supporting teachers in practical ways is essential. i digress.) and scarlett walked out the door without it. i went to the gym and i was KILLING it on the treadmill. making great time and feeling fantastic. then it popped in my head that the heavy cream was still in the refrigerator. GASP! i'm determined to not be the deadbeat mom of this generation of children! i'd already turned in the corn husks late! earlier in the year a bunch of my forms had been misplaced so i had to fill everything else again and of course everyone made it sound like i had not turned them in. i was FRAMED. i feel extra pressure to perform when i've under-performed previously. i know how some other mom's talk! i remember how alana wieczorek from high school got all the good parts in the school musicals, even though she was a dreadful singer and actress, because her mom made all the costumes. i know how things work! i will write secret checks to certain organizations if that's what it takes. but, of course, i'll probably forget to send my bribe check in on time because i'm scatterbrained!
anywho, i'm trying to figure out the best way to get the heavy cream to the elementary school on the other side of town from my gym. i wish i could have just said screw it because i want to get 5 miles in today! but, duty prevails and i jump off the tread, grab hersch and drive like a maniac to my house to get the cream. no point in stopping at the store for more because my house is by the school. of course, 85 is a mess and i didn't cool down at all so i am drenched with sweat in my sweatshirt. i finally get to the school and drag hersch in, because this was a good time to throw a fit about being dragged around town by his merciless mother. i take the cream inside, looking like a drowned rat, and ask the receptionist to allow me to take the cream to the classroom. take note, this is when you should straight up lie to a bedraggled mom. the receptionist sniffs and looks at me, "they've already finished the butter. you're too late." if i'm ever a receptionist, i'm going to tell lies. i'm going to tell moms who are killing themselves to get stuff done that i'll gladly take their contribution right away, they don't need to know whether it's used. they just need to know that their effort was noted. lie to me! tell me sweet little lies!
so, i'm just mad at everyone at this point. and crazy sweaty. i get in my car after another brief tussle with hersch and start driving down the road. i pull off my sweatshirt at the light and start driving, not realizing that i've also pulled off my running tank. i'm driving around town in just my sports bra for about 20 minutes because i magically got green on every light or only sat at red lights long enough to wrestle with my shirt, but not get it back on. at least i was finally cooling off.
later that day when i picked up athena blythe, she came out wearing a shirt i did not recognize. according to her teacher, athena blythe had fallen into the toilet at school and drenched her shirt.
i know the feeling.
the end.
4 comments:
Oh my gosh you are amazing. This is incredible.
I'm so impressed that, even in the midst of your struggle, you did the world a service and drove around solely in a sports bra. But seriously, I don't get people who don't acknowledge that moms are killing themselves to get the job done.
Two weeks ago, I dragged Landyn and Bri around at 8:30 p.m. to FOUR different stores to find the glue that Bri needed the next day for a Thanksgiving craft. FOUR different stores! The first three were out of glue! How can you be OUT of glue? So, the Friday before Thanksgiving week off, she brings home this craft and tells me she didn't even USE the glue I bought. It was the wrong kind so the teacher brought in the glue for them to use. SHE DIDN'T EVEN USE THE GLUE I WENT TO FOUR DIFFERENT STORES TO BUY! SHE DIDN'T EVEN USE THE GLUE, Heidi!
*deep breath*
Being a mom is hard work.
I love you. The end.
~Anne
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