place your bets

how long with these fish live?

a. 48 hours

b. every minute is a gift

c. as long as they can absorb ink, pennies and cookie crumbs?

families can be together forever if you're not careful

our ward had it's family temple day on saturday. we are blessed that we have a temple nearby. it only required 2 juice boxes, 2 lunchables(the pizza kind-so DUMB in the car. SO DUMB), 2 pieces of candy per child(the EXACT same kind for each), 2 leapsters, 3 charlie and lola books and a roll of paper towels. 

we left the dvd player at home because we were going to enjoy one another's company dangit and the trip isn't that far. i don't know if i'll say that ever again because i was the one sitting backwards reading charlie and lola books over and over and holding the books just so so that each kidlet was alotted exactly the same page viewing space as the other. cue the music: "pioneer children sang as they walked and walked and walked and walked." so in reality, we don't have it bad at all.

our beautiful temple in south carolina:

and this is when my dad would say, "families can be together forever, if you're not careful". pause for laughter. hahahahahaha

and when we told scarlett we were all going to the temple together, she started to cry, "but i don't want to get married!" at least i know she is listening occasionally during family home evening. and then we went to the church bookstore and the first thing that scarlett showed interest in was a wicked king noah figurine. awesome. 2 for 2!

it was a lovely event. we toured the temple grounds and the kids got to sit in the waiting room and we learned about the importance of families and temples and being together forever. after the car ride i needed the refresher course.

when we finally arrived home:

scarlett dead to the world wearing reagan's old cast off underwear. classy.

a pirate's life for me

 reagan really wanted an ooh and aah themed birthday. but, disney pulled the plug on ooh and aah a few weeks ago and my one-woman campaign to bring them back has gone unheeded. reagan had to settle for an ooh and ahh cake and a couple of inflatable monkeys. he's learning at 6 how cruel the world can be.  i tried to convince him that monkeys and pirates go hand in hand.

mothers...

 

...and daughters.

 "Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates."

–Life on the Mississippi

the details of the party will underwhelm you. put your notepads away. there was nothing martha stewart about this shindig. i didn't even use my glue gun. that is how i roll. i did make a rather elaborate birthday sign complete with authentic pirate map crinkling and burnouts that immediately ripped in half upon hanging. i learned my lesson and i will never try to do anything again. also of note: glue gun for sale. cheap.

BUT we did have a few activities planned.

we engaged in sword play. we should have had everyone sign a release.

we did a treasure hunt.

we beat a pinata suspended by an extension cord. you won't find that classy tip on any party planning website.

 

we learned about scurvy and embraced our inner pirate.

we rode a train and made many promises to scarlett about her birthday party that hopefully she will forget.

reagan was pretty pleased. and that is what i was hoping for. 

the worst party of a party is the sugar crash...

the best part of a party is that breakfast, lunch and dinner are ready for the next 24 hours.



the good wife's guide

thomas showed this to me. he knows how stressed out i have been the last few weeks(months, years) and wanted to give me a few suggestions on what i can do to improve as a wife and mother. you may find it helpful and reassuring too.
thomas is always so thoughtful to me.

*i checked this out on snopes and this guide was never actually published in 1955

which is your favorite suggestion? mine is, "a good wife knows her place". followed
by "be a little gay and a little more interesting". sometimes i need a reminder to quit being so straight and boring. and  OF COURSE, "take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be fresh when he arrives". a perfect suggestion. i am constantly looking for more things to do to fill my vast amounts of free time. i don't even know why i have so many of my thoughts and opinions on the blog, since "his
topics of conversation are more important than mine." i am constantly just waiting for further orders from thomas on what to do next.

i have a few of my own suggestions(not that i'm that great, just realistic):
a realistic wife knows that her place is in the backyard playing with the kids instead of putting a ribbon in her hair.

a realistic wife will expand her kids vocabulary. "crapius maximus"-when the flying disk lands on the roof.

a realistic wife hopes that her kids make it through the activity with more squeals than screams.

a realistic wife will ignore possible injury to precious ankles by teaching the kids how to jump off the pavers stones in sync with the camera timer.

and then a realistic wife will slave over a delicious birthday dinner of toy story macaroni and cheese and canned peaches, and the kids will open birthday presents.

the great thing about reagan is that he is excited for everything. even clothes. he is his mother's child. he even let scarlett open a bunch of  his presents.

then the realistic wife will put her kids to bed and then lay on the couch and watch netflix shows until she falls asleep at 915. then she will grab a load of laundry to fold, only because they all need clean underwear in the morning and that's really the only way she can stay awake.