middle age road trip

thomas surprised me with an overnight trip to nashville. he bought tickets to a music festival, booked a hotel, arranged to have my mom fly out here to watch the kids and did it all without my knowledge. in 17 years, overnight trips are a bit of a rarity, so this was very exciting for me. 

we left on saturday morning. we ate junk food in the car and the drive without kids was so fast and easy that i felt a little cheated. 

after no one threw up in the car, no one fought with anyone about seat space, no one made a mess with crumbly food or asked to stop for the bathroom 43 times, we arrived in nashville feeling better than okay about life. we ate at hattie B's and no one spilled water all over the table. we also had some of the best friend chicken ever. very spicy but so juicy. we had to wait for about 30 minutes for a table and neither of us complained about it. we just chatted and enjoyed one another's company. 

then we went back to our hotel and took power naps. quietly. with no fanfare or debate. after our naps, we put on comfortable, weather appropriate clothes with sensible walking shoes and a hat for sun protection and joined all the other middle age fans for an evening of music in the park. we paid extra for closer parking because sometimes that's what middle age and a good job affords you.

the show we really wanted to see was the killers and they did not disappoint. 

after the conclusion of the show, we rushed over to our more expensive and conveniently closer parking spot and arrived back at the hotel in time to watch the second half of the Georgia-Notre Dame game. this is also when my cold that i had been heavily medicating  up to this point took a turn for the worse and i curled up in bed and no one touched me or talked to me. the best way to be sick. 

sunday morning we got up early and found a ward building that shared a parking lot with the nashville temple. the nashville temple is tiny but packs a full measure of the Spirit in it's small size. 

as we walked in the chapel for sacrament meeting, thomas and i looked at each other knowingly as we heard a family with several small children declaring their presence. we were on the front row of one side of the chapel and the family was on the front row of the other side. it appeared to be a family of 7 and two of the children had severe handicaps and were confided to wheelchairs. i had a clear view to watch the interactions of this sweet family. i watched as the mother lovingly held the hand of her wheelchair bound daughter as the daughter squealed with delight during the meeting. the mother seemed to be constantly smiling as she listened to the truly wonderful youth speakers(neither of whom complained about or repeated that tired story of avoiding the bishopric member and trying to get out of giving a talk in church). she adjusted tubes and appeared to prepare a liquid to put in the feeding tube of her daughter. i was overcome watching this beautiful interaction. i had to stare at the floor and think of poopy diapers to keep myself from openly sobbing. getting away with thomas and sleeping in and having lots of fun was supposed to be the most recharging part of the trip. attending sacrament meeting, feeling the Spirit, watching a mother lovingly care for her two special needs children was in actuality the most recharging part. my motherhood teammate's example buoyed me up. the intermediate hymn was one of my favorites and the same part of the song in all three verses struck me as especially profound that sunday. 

i am grateful we went to church.

after church we drove around music row and downtown nashville before we headed back home. the drive home was like sunday night before the first day of school on steroids. i love my kids. i really love not spending time with my kids once in a while.

surprise! thomas didn't want to be in any pictures! shocker!

my new favorite picture of myself:

the next day, athena blythe was super sick so i took her to the doctor but by mid-morning she had made a miraculous recovery and she was able to enjoy lunch with grandma and mama. don't tell scarlett, because she BEGGED to be allowed to stay home from school. maybe next time.

sweet it the peace the gospel brings.

the end. 

meekness is power under control

when i got my first iPhone in 2012, one of the first quotes that i saved to my notes is, "meekness is power under control". i don't know who said it. i just know i heard it in during a church talk and i immediately jotted it down for further contemplation. in the many years since i wrote it down, i've pondered upon it many times. i feel like only recently i've been able to start to grasp the breadth of what that saying actually means.

back in may, i surprised athena blythe with a trip to an outdoor dog adoption festival, Woofstock, at a local town square. i was surprised too because i was planning on merely taking her to a very fancy pet store located on the town square. she likes to look at all the purple velvet dog furniture and bedazzled personalized $400 dog collars. happening upon a full on outdoor festival complete with trained circus dog show tricks, food trucks, and 100s of dogs up for adoption is about as happy an accident i can think of in athena blythe's book. as we arrived, we noticed a sky full of increasingly foreboding clouds but we decided to press forward and stay as long as we could. we truly had a great time. athena blythe petted a majority of the dogs and proffered copious amounts of expert dog advice to actual pet owners. she renamed several dogs for the animal rescue agencies who clearly phoned in the all important animal naming duty. we had a glorious time! after 2 hours, we started making our way back to our car. it had been lightly sprinkling for about 20 minutes so we were pushing our luck on avoiding the downpour. we were a couple of blocks from our car. about 1/3 of the way, a torrential downpour broke out. we were almost instantly soaked through. i tried to make walking in the rain part of the adventure because it quickly became apparent that athena blythe was in sensory overload. we jumped in puddles and laughed at how wet we were getting. we arrived at the crosswalk just as the all-female police officers on duty had let the previous large group of pedestrians cross the busy main road. it was less than ideal, but that's how traffic works. there were hundreds of cars on the road at this same time and the officers directed them to take their turn to continue on their way. it was still steadily raining as we waited. two different groups of all-female-post-dog-festival attendees walked up and joined our group we waiting for our turn to cross. one lady started screaming at the police officers for not stopping traffic to let them go ahead and cross. it was terrible to witness. no one is happy to be stuck in the rain, but she was absolutely losing her mind on this poor young police officer and made the situation so much worse. she was using very vile language toward the police officers. i was trying to distract athena blythe from this scene by making standing in the rain part of our game. then another lady, who was with her teenage daughter, joined in at screaming at the police officers about what a terrible job she thought they were doing. these officers who had been on duty ensuring our safety the entire time we were enjoying ourselves at the festival who were now directing traffic in pouring rain. i wanted to say something to shut those horrible women up, but i didn't want to sound like one of them or be confused with agreeing with their behavior. these women looked like regular moms i would see at PTA but for some reason in response to the frustrating but not completely horrible situation, they were acting so atrociously. finally, the mother of the teenage daughter shouted one of the most vile phrases i've ever heard at one of the police officers. my soul was aching because poor athena blythe was in distress and was also being subjected what i would consider HBO level crass language by fellow women and mothers. i felt like my teammates were letting me down. we finally crossed and as i passed the officer i loudly shouted with a smile, "thank you for being here today!" i'm sure it only annoyed the other women there but i couldn't leave those officers thinking everyone was attacking them. i dragged athena blythe across the street as fast as i could to get away from those women so we would not be stuck with them at another crosswalk. the next place to cross was at the end of a tunnel where dozens of families were waiting out the rain. i didn't stop there. i couldn't imagine risking another terrible scene. i picked up athena blythe and put her on my shoulder and ran all the way to our car in the downpour while everyone in the tunnel watched. what had started as such a promising activity turned into a distressing event.

that was the day i finally had a more complete understanding of "meekness is power under control". satan tries to imitate anything good in order to trick us. in that situation, those women thought they were being powerful because they were loudly expressing themselves. but that's not true power at all. there's no power in being impatient with inconvenience! true power is being meek enough to not lose control in a stressful situation. true power is making a difficult situation better, even if it is only through patient words. true power is the knowledge that i'm a daughter of Heavenly Father and i was entrusted with the job of caring for my children. i could have succumbed to anger and weakness and screaming. i was sorely tempted to! but that's not power. satan wants us to think that is power, but those women were so weak, only thinking of themselves and using language that no one should be using. i'm no longer angry at them. i'm sad for them. sad that something as unfulfilling as losing control and hurting another person has taken root in their heart as a expression of power. i hope that incident was very out of character for them too. i won't lie and say that i never lose my cool or say things i can't take back. that happens more than i'd like to admit. but that day i recognized something in myself that i wanted to feel again, to not let stress turn me into a person i don't like or recognize, the ability to have power under control, .

spring breaking records

i will finish this blog post i started in APRIL!

we had spring break and while thomas's schedule rarely allows for any type of extended getaway, my personal view on school holidays is an activity a day. 

the first day of spring break was march 29th and we did some serious yard work. our backyard is still a wasteland of trees and dirt but we are slowly but surely making headway on my 3 year yard transformation plan. we spent a good chunk of the day in the yard getting our 2nd half of winter leaves raked up, plus all the spring storm limbs gathered and bagged. i'm pretty proud of the efforts these guys put forth. it was a LOT of dirty, tedious work and the two big kids especially pulled their weight. i think that's a hard concept to teach kids; pulling their weight. often i think we confuse things being difficult and uncomfortable with completing actual work. work is all that plus an actual change in a situation. reagan was really getting the hang of actual leaf raking after many years of practicing and scarlett is always my right hand man. herschel picked up about a million acorns and athena blythe was present. 

we had mcdonalds for lunch as a prize and i hope the novelty of mcdonalds never wears off. 

i was proudly filthy. being dirty always feels like a sense of accomplishment to me. 

on saturday, we took a day trip to greenville, south carolina and told none of our greenville friends. we just wanted a day to explore that fun little town again with no schedule or expectations.

probably one of my favorite pictures of all time ever:

sometimes i forget to give thomas the "let's not buy our just kids anything" pep talk. maybe i secretly enjoy seeing him indulge his children in their fancies. i once got a souvenir "life's a beach" mug from an overpriced shop in the mountains of colorado and i loved and cherished that mug for years until it met it's untimely demise on the kitchen floor. that hideously cheap looking chase dog is proudly displayed on herschel's bed every day. 

we recreated a photo from 2010 in this exact same spot, except i cannot find that original photo. when i do, i'll add it here.

every party needs a pooper:

finding the downtown mice was new for hersch 

this is a newer revitalized area that thomas helped do some of the legal work for:

spring break sunday with that dang chase dog at church. 

on monday we met up with friends at a local park and had a GIANT nerf dart gun war. it was so fun that i want to do it again and again. author's note: we have not done it since but perhaps when it cools down again running around at the park will hold more appeal.

the whole crew. everyone claimed they won and for that i am grateful. "i just hope they all win" sandy beck

something happened on tuesday and i cannot for the life of me remember what is was. probably because i waited 6 months to record our venture. i feel like it involved scooters? or did we see a movie at the cheap theater? i bet that was it. i seem to recall sitting in terrible traffic because atlanta happens to always have terrible traffic, especially during spring break and then taking a nap at the theater and the kids dancing to the end credits to whatever animated gibberish i had been subjected too. smallfoot rings a bell. 

wednesday we did bogan park aquatic center. an over stimulation of sounds, smells and body parts. i do not understand why parents allow their children(under 18 is children) to wear thong swimsuits. i was having an anxiety attack each time a particular youth jumped off the diving board. it was a combination of fear and pain. this youth's mother was present. my occupation as judgy mcjudgerson is safe for the time being.

this is what happens when we don't properly secure scarlett's hair for swimming. it must be braided and then tightly bunned. a swim cap is always nice too.

thursday night we went to the stone mountain laser light show for the first time and it certainly won't be our last. we all loved it. it was cheesy and corny but also delightful and stirring. there is much to know and contemplate about Georgia history.

also, pollen season was especially bad this year. this is the result of me walking from the front door to my car. 

friday night we drove over to athens for a little overnighter. athena blythe has been begging to stay at a hotel and we haven't spent really any time in athens even though we are in rather close proximity to athens. we figured a trip to her namesake city would be appropriate for athena blythe's hotel stay.

we at dinner at the hotel restaurant and then explored the downtown area. there was a late night cookie shop that fit the bill for our family's needs. 

athena blythe loved the hotel water bottles and wrote letters on the hotel stationary. i wish i could say her hotel appetite was sated but the stay only proved to fan the flame of her hospitality desire. now herschel asks to take "bacations" every weekend too.

she packed this suitcase full of junk and wrote on it in sharpie, "blythe and scarlett"

looking out the window at the athena stature.

thomas enjoyed taking the kids on a tour of all his university of Georgia memories.

this is worth a zoom in:

herschel recognized his name on the walls of the stadium.

there was a dad with his daughter in the student center. he was wearing head to toe alabama stuff and his daughter was wearing Georgia stuff. i feel like we were the same family. i shouted to him ROLL TIDE ROLL! and he shouted it right back. thomas was in the bathroom for this exchange. 

the family allegiance breakdown outside of BYU fandom goes like this:

thomas-georgia

heidi-alabama

reagan-sometimes alabama if he's in the mood but he really likes texas, iowa, oklahoma and mizzou for no good reason at all. sometimes he likes to say he doesn't like BYU just to be a defiant teenager.

scarlett- georgia

athena blythe- alabama because she has no opinion and thomas has two kids to indoctrinate and otherwise i only get a lukewarm one child who really doesn't want to go along with anything his parents like(darn you reagan if you're reading this!)

herschel- georgia, because it would be blasphemy if it was anything else. i will even buy him little 34 herschel walker jerseys because it's so cute.

the end

things that stay

the schedule:

july 14th- spoke in sacrament meeting, taught laurels class

july 21- taught adult sunday school

july 28- taught laurels

july 30- in charge of personal progress activity for all young women

august 4- taught youth sunday school

august 11- taught laurels

august 18- main speaker at bishop youth discussion

august 23- taught laurels
sept 1- taught primary class
september 3- in charge of laurels planning meeting
september 8- taught laurels

the past 8 weeks have been incredibly busy. not only preparing everything that is required for back to school but i have been teaching SOMETHING at church every single week. some weeks more than one thing. it was great. i truly loved it. if i'm going to be busy, i'd prefer for it to be spiritual preparation busy. i feel like the majority of my life is rather draining. that's just the nature of the beast while raising children. however, i've found that scripture study and lesson preparation are things that will never drain me. tired, absolutely. but not drained. study is a thing that stays with me. even when i'm exhausted by the time and effort that goes into preparing and understanding and pondering the direction a lesson or a talk or an activity needs to go, i'm not drained. 

for a really long time, i've allowed myself to have a bit limited in my scripture study because i do have so many young children. it was still happening but as time went on, i realized that i could be doing more. i think everyone should do as much as they can and sometimes it's just a snippet here and there everyday. in the past few years, i've found there are lots of little pockets of time in my day for scripture study via listening. 10 minutes to listen on my way to the grocery story. i used to dread listening to anything but music while running or exercising, but 2 conference talks goes by really quickly while running. if it's a weightlifting day, 5 minutes of listening while warming up and 5-10 minutes of listening while stretching equals 1 conference talk. these small efforts have compounded into an overall better feeling about my day. I AM YELLING LESS! that's something i do want to shout about! if i want something to feel better, turning to the Lord by listening to His word makes even hard things seem doable. i don't even have to be strenuously striving to glean information. oftentimes it's simply having the word on and my mind is allowed to absorb and wander to where it needs to go. there are still plenty of hard days. last week i had a day so chaotic that everything was turning into a comedy of errors. but i held it together because i had already invited the Spirit into my day. 

also, reagan gave his first talk in sacrament meeting yesterday. he wrote it himself. i did a little supervising for content. he hand wrote it on notebook paper and then i had him type it out. we printed out two copies and i brought the hand written original. i was taking no chances. we got the the chapel early enough so that he would have a chance to practice speaking slowly and distinctly and modulate his voice for a microphone. 

i will covertly take pictures in the chapel till i die. go ahead and judge me.

i was pretty nervous that there might be some last minute revelation from the pulpit but he stuck to the script and for that i was relieved. 

Hello my name is Reagan and Ive been asked to give a talk about how I feel about Jesus which is happy. Because I pray to heavenly father in the name of Jesus Christ. And I also pray to when I need help. One time I lost my favorite chick hicks car. I prayed to know where to look. Then I listened to know where to look. My mom and I looked in the backseat of my car and there it was.

 Also, I love going to young mens young mens because I do lessons with my friends as a group. We are learning about Jesus and being brave men. I can help my family with scriptures every day. Sometimes I get bored from it but It’s the right thing to do.

I have the best young men teachers.

And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ amen.

my favorite line is "how i feel about Jesus which is happy". 

Jesus makes me happy too.