i am kate middleton

i'll spare you the pregnancy test with positive symbol on it (because no one really wants to see a stick that i've peed on) and just come out and say," i'm PREGNANT! and having a baby too!" 

 

• bullets dodged- being pregnant during the summer. baby #4 is due march 20th. 

• direct hits- 1. TIRED. the kind of tired where you sleep and sleep and it's never restorative. it's like having a dead cell phone battery that you still need to use so you plug it into the charger but now cannot move from that corner in your kitchen without losing all energy again. 2. and BLOATED. as bloated as former toronto mayor, rob ford. 

• and here's my gender reveal party(that you also have zero interest in being invited to) he's a boy. pretty clearly. release the blue balloons! cut into the blue cake! his name will be herschel. i'll call him hersch for short. you don't have to like his name, but you sure should pretend you do. i've certainly pretended to like all your kids names. reagan is over the moon at the prospect of having a brother and plans on calling him, gus. he also wanted to call athena blythe, gus. i can't break that kid's heart one more time so i'm sure we'll quickly adopt that nickname too. 

i actually discovered i was great with child two nights before our moving van was set to depart from simpsonville. you can't make this stuff up people. surprise #1- athena blythe surprise #2- herschel as we are planning to relocate? typical simpson live comedy. we're excited. we're on the cusp of being a "big family". i'll get stares and sympathetic looks whether they are warranted or not. 

• while i've been pretty vomit free, my sciatic nerve has caused me incredible pain. i've kept up with my running and weightlifting until two weeks ago when i woke up one morning and i couldn't even walk. the worst day was 2 sundays ago and i was reduced to having to call thomas on the phone from the upstairs bathroom because i could not get off the floor. i even started wearing FLATS to church! perish the thought. if i can't wear heels once a week, i might as well just start wearing elastic-waisted everything and get a rascal for when i've got to grocery shop! i've been to the doctor and then a physical therapist and it looks like a possible explanation is that my nerve has somehow slipped between two muscles due to the hormones and weight gain. talking about my weight gain is my favorite so that explanation was most pleasing to me. i was prescribed "no running for a month and a we'll see after that". (i'll show that physical therapist what i think of that and never go back for more therapy ever again!) after that appointment, i went and sat in my car and cried for a while(because WHY NOT?). i texted thomas with my news. you know you married the right person when they immediately call you back and listen to you cry about not being able to run in a 10k you had been planning on for 6 months. we've got a special thing going on. i realize it's not the end of the world, but when i'm feeling like a zombie-elephant, it's the little things like running that i miss the most. i will be back with a vengeance. i will OWN you local 5Ks!

• in other news, this week i was deep cleaning out of desperation to stay active(if i can't go to the gym i guess the least i could do is clean this place. quel horreur!). i was laying on reagan's bed trying to retrieve all the items which have been lodged against the wall for the past 2 months. this also happened to be the first day i busted out my new maternity pants to accomodate my increasing girth, and i BROKE one of the support boards on the lower bunk bed. i'm going to save the broken board to show other people in case anyone gets the hair-brained idea to comment on my increading size(because some hapless male ALWAYS does) and i will BEAT them with it.  this means only one thing: i am absolutely in competition with kate middleton as most fashionable and lithe pregnant woman due in spring 2015. i'm sure the exact same thing happens to her when she deep cleans. 

we're practically the SAME PERSON!

• my saving grace has been progresso tomato basil soup and a grilled cheese sammich for lunch. then later, a bowl of frosted flakes at 9pm because i am STARVING about that time every night. hopefully i can soon add to my food repertoire, but so far meat products and i are on the outs. pun intended.

this child should absolutely be an older sibling:

            m