interstate love song

over the weekend thomas and i had our first opportunity to take an over night trip sans children in a LOOOONG time. it was heaven on earth to be away from those darling little monsters, if only for about 20 hours.

i picked big T up from the bright lights of downtown...

and we headed to the slightly less bright lights of winter quarters, nebraska. i always say that the best way to reconnect with your spouse is to take a road trip with them through the middle of nowhere. we laughed. big T drove. i napped. we ate at the ABSOLUTELY WORST sonic and mcdonalds on earth in the same 10 minutes. we sang along with the radio.(don't worry paula, you aren't the only one who wishes we could open the windows when i start singing.) we listened to the stone temple pilots greatest hits. we fell in love again listening to interstate love song. we discussed the band's merits and we pinky swore that we would never become addicted to heroin as it not only destoys bands but other important things like families.

our accomodations were at the mormon trail motel. i tried to find some photos online before i booked the room but i was unsuccessful. i don't think the proprietor had heard of this "internets phenomenon" yet. a vacancy at this palace? shocker.

behold, the only photos of the mormon trail motel available online. our luxurious accomodations:

we enjoyed all 6 channels on the TV and BOTH pillows on the bed. we felt like pioneers and we agreed that staying at this resort would become a family tradition.

the sign in the daylight: please note the fine establishment located next door.

the hotel exterior:

we enjoyed some time at the winter quarters temple.

the winter quarters temple is located next to a pioneer cemetary from when early latter-day saints were forced out of missouri into nebraska. over 600 saints died here from elements, illness and exposure in the winter of 1847.

i took this opportunity to bawl my face off. few things can put your life into perspective like visiting a place inhabited by people who gave their lives for the gospel of Jesus Christ and religious freedom. i promised myself i would be less of a whiner about my little problems.

mourn not for those who peaceful lay their wearied bodies down

who leave this frail and mortal clay to seek a fadeless crown

bowchickawowow

last night i washed el presidente's heavy winter coat. this morning i took it out of the dryer and it put on him before leaving for the gym. i dropped the kids off in childcare and thought nothing of it when reagan wanted to continue to wear his coat while he was playing with the other kids. this is not unusual for him; it is a great coat. i had an excellent workout and i was able to enjoy the fantastically vacuous new show on the style network called "running in heels". it is pure cat fights and other drivel in the fashion world so you know it is destined to become a new favorite. after running i finished up by stretching and chit chatting with my geriatric boyfriends tom and dick. afterwards, i checked the kids out of childcare and we drove home. as i was removing el presidente's coat, i noticed something small, black and satin stuck to the velcro square at his collar. upon further examination it was definitely something small, black and satin....and personal. it was an item of clothing that doesn't get worn very often around these parts. it was not a quilt square. it was not a hankerchief. not a scarf either. and it was not a bra. if you were one of the childcare workers, would you have pointed this very visible item out to me or would you have just rolled with it?

bullseye

blogs are a stalker's paradise. i commend all of you who have private blogs. but for me and my house, i am too much of a narcissist. i love comments and i am flattered by the positive things you have written. i value the friendships and reconnections i have made through the blog-o-sphere. but most importantly i like writing and i love writing about myself. i love pictures of myself. i especially love really bad pictures of myself.

truly awesome badness circa 1993

Elder M. Russell Ballard has encouraged LDS people to use the internet to dispel myths and falsehoods about the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints. hopefully my blog has shown people that LDS people or mormons, as we are more commonly known, are just like anyone else you meet; people who want happy families, who work hard, who enjoy the cameraderies of people of other faiths, and that LDS people have testimonies of our Savior Jesus Christ.

however, i admit i have made some mistakes when it comes to posting information about my family on the internet. recently i have found myself trying to scale back some of the information that i share about my little kidlets and our location in the world. it doesn't take a rocket surgeon to google someone's name to find more information about them.

so, if any of you out there in cyberworld would ever feel compelled to harm myself or my family in any way, let me share a tidbit of information with you about myself:

i'm a really good shot.

and i would not hesitate for even one hot second to drop you like you were hot.

and i don't mean dancing. you would never forget me.

don't believe me? click to enlarge.

pardon my REALLY ugly pants. this was about 5 years ago. those pants have since been burned. but the hat is truly awesome.

we are the champions, my friends!

the steamboat willies, my amazingly inept volleyball team, won our first match last night. sure, we have won a game before, but last night we SWEPT all three games. it was a momentous occasion.

what makes this victory so magical?

1. we normally have an entire cheering section full of children, husbands, dads, mothers, siblings and team sponsors rooting for us. last night we only had one lone spectator cheer us on to victory. lesta is now our secret weapon and no one else is invited but her. sorry fans, the taste of success is too strong to ignore. i want another bite and i don't want anybody messing us up. we are on a winning streak. try to understand.

2. our wednesday night practice was cancelled. we all came to this match completely unprepared.

3. i served the ball OVER the net MULTIPLE times. i only messed up because i got cocky. but cocky isn't so bad either because at least i'm not just on the team now to fill the roster.

4. i was called for an illegal hit twice. i was secretly pleased by this news because that means i was actually having contact with the ball instead of my normal technique of diving to the ground and completely missing.

5. bruce, our fearless leader and unofficial coach, was absent. we had to think up our rotation and strategy on our own.

6. the opposing team consisted of some of the oldest women athletes that i had ever seen. they arrived on one of those public transportation vans that drive old people around.(just kidding) one of them even had an oxygen tank.(not really) i spiked on her 3 times.(not true either, the only spiking i can do is with short hair.) we smoked those geezers.

7. due to illness and out-of-townedness, we were missing several key players. we had to go outside the ranks to fill our roster. luckily we had lauren she might have been a little more than helpful to our team. just don't ask her how old she is. and she definitely wasn't anyone on the team's daughter. those were just rumors the other team started to psych us out.


and just to prove to you that this is all real and not something that i made up, i present, the steamboat willies:

(photo courtesy of jamey's blog. i totally took this without permission. thanks for loving me anyway.)

and i am completely aware that my hair looks like i just rolled out of bed. that's just how hard i play. i am in it to win it!

weekend with a side of sickness, hold the phlegm please.

thursday- time for scarlett's 18 month pictures, since she is now 19 months. whatever works, right?
i wanted to surprise big T for valentine's day with a picture of his two girls. SURPRISE! we are both sick. thankfully hacking and coughing all over the place photographs really well and we pull it together for two good pictures. even the photographer couldn't convince herself to try and sell us the other poses. i think the words "hot mess" were used.

friday-big T and i celebrate valentine's day early. i actually prefer to NOT go out on valentine's. all our favorite places are overrun by making-out junior high kids. perhaps it's time to abandon the fast food places? we settled on culvers. we love it. great burgers. great fries. DELISH ice cream products. plus we had multiple coupons. they let you use as many as you want at a time. ideal for cheapskates like us.

who's got two thumbs and loves culvers?

this guy!!!

i got the bleu cheeseburger and big T got the double butter burger. i love bleu cheese. in fact, during no junk month january i found myself eating spoonful by fantastic moldy spoonful for mid afternoon snacks. what's that sound you hear? just our arteries clogging. you can actually hear us getting fatter.

dessert was chocolate brownie oreo concretes. size medium, thanks.

then we headed out to the picture show and saw taken. totally loved it. i was thinking lamesauce, but it was awesome sauce. plus, the theater was empty enough that i could sniffle and snot all i wanted and no one complained. saturday-had lunch with my madre(pardon my corpse-like complexion)

and then we went to the nelly don house for a tour benefitting the kansas city symphony. because we are classy like that.

and then we met up with my sister at coldstone to celebrate! heather had taken the lsat that morning. this was her impression of the over-achiever who sat next to her and finished every section 20 minutes before everyone else.

feeling right at home with the ice cream menu.

sunday-went to church and spoke in sacrament meeting. i may or may not have inadvertently claimed that moses wanted to sacrifice his son on an altar. i blame it on the cold medicine.

after church the whole fam damily watched gifted hands: the ben carson story. i love made-for-tv-movies and i bawled my face off. i am now determined to overcome my middle class upbringing and become a neurosurgeon. or a rapper. which do you think is more plausible? word, that's what i thought too, yo.

no wonder no one liked jan(uary) brady

NO JUNK for the MONTH of JANUARY is finally over. i did it and it was great. the first week was tough, but after that, no big deal. it's good for what ails you, like the 37 pounds i gained during december.
breaking the fast with my two desserts: a bowl of chocolate ice cream sprinkled with m&ms and a dove square and a huge hunk of peach cobbler and some vanilla ice cream.
oh ice cream! i missed you. let's never fight again!

62 bucks

i woke up this morning to find scarlett's left eye red, swollen and overflowing with oozy, gloppy eye-boogers. after a quick(less than 90 minutes) trip to the doctor, scarlett has a presciption for the cold that is now living in her eye.

the doctor warned me that the eye drop presciption would be pricey. i thought 20-25 bucks? i can drop that like it's hot. totally worth it. my little girl has baby pageants to win and 6 foot tiaras to wear and she can't do that with an oozy, festering eye.

BEHOLD:

the $62 bottle of eye drops! YIKES! BIKES!

i am a proud brigham young university graduate class of 2002. so proud that i have an alumni license plate frame. however, i am seriously considering taking it off of my car. if you live outside the intermountain west, BYU means one thing-mormonism. and lately i have been having a slew of bad luck in my Es-Ca-Pey(it's high falutin' if you pronounce it like that) and don't want my poor driving experiences to sully the name of my church.

recently, we had a warm day and i took my car in to be washed at a local do-it-yourself-car-wash. luckily there was one spot where there was no one waiting and so i quickly pulled into the available spot. as i was doing so, i realized that i had just cut in front of two of the oldest people on earth. after i realized my mistake i tried to make amends with methuselah and his wife, sofia petrillo, by backing up and letting them go. they weren't having it and i know they were eyeing my license plate frame and drawing nasty conclusions.

plus, i have a nasty habit of only allowing one car in front of me when there is a traffic jam in a parking lot. some people really hate that. it only seems fair to me that no one should be able to cut to the front of a traffic jam.

and sometimes if you were foolish and pulled into the middle of an intersection while the light was changing to red, i will try and get as close to you as possible in order to let you know that i don't appreciate your stupidity. i believe that if you are scared that i may hit you, you will finally learn safe driving courtesy.

plus, if you are a teenager and are texting on your phone while driving. i will honk at you and stare you down. i am a pretty firm believer that teenagers should only be allowed to drive with their parents.

the end.

"friendship" tag is still my personal hell.

athletic competition and i have never been friends. the first time in my life that i became truly aquainted with personal prayer was in elementary school when i would pray for the ability to get through gym class unscathed. this continued through most of my public school education. "friendship" tag(read-fag tag) is still my personal hell. long jumping, rope climbing, pull ups and timed sit-ups should be considered cruel and unusual punishment. though i may love a good redneck, square dancing is not for me. and heaven forbid i play any game involving a ball. especially when they are flying at my face. volleyball and basketball were the two most dreaded gym glass activities. i always thought that our gym teacher, mrs. mccormack, had a diabolical streak to her. she would assign kids to teams and then sit back in her wheeled desk chair and chug coffee and eat little debbie snack cakes while i braved the peril of team sports. the resentment still burns within me today.

this being known, it should shock the socks off everybody that i am currently on a volleyball team. for real. we are called the steamboat willies and we are comprised of 9 lovely and talented ladies from church. last night was our second game. it must be noted that last night should be considered our first game as last week we somehow ended up in the A league. thanks to our team leader rochelle's torn ligaments in her foot(really) mercy was shown on us and we were moved to the B league. more like the D+ league. we fit in much better over there.
i asked my sister to take a few pictures for the blog and of the 3893 pictures she took, these few are the only pictures that are post worthy. i should have known that she would take advantage of my game ready crouch. most of the other pictures are close ups of my backyard. not exactly the view i was going for.

a few pictures of the caboose are helpful. most of us really don't know what we look like from behind. everyone should have a picture or two to know if you should wear a pair of pants again.

obviously these pants do nothing for me. or my volleyball skillz.

i plan on sending this picture to mrs. mccormack with the caption:
it's a lot easier to serve a ball over the net when someone is not barking orders at you from a wheeled desk chair.
unfortunately i only served over the net twice. my strength really lies in other areas. like sitting in a wheeled desk chair eating little debbie snacks.

the opposing team had it's own resident celebrity, jamie lynn spears, sporting the grey sweatshirt. i didn't know she was a jayhawks fan. i made it heather's personal mission last night to get a picture of jamie lynn from the front. this was as good as she could do. apparently she was too busy taking pictures of my derriere.

reagan wasn't too thrilled with having to sit at the rec center in his pajamas on office/scrubs/30rock night.

ps- we actually won one of our three games last night. tender mercies indeed.

my twelve loves of christmas 9-12

yeah, so i'm still posting about christmas. but this is the last post on the subject. then i'll be back to my regularly scheduled blathering.

9. watching bowl games and movies and "very special" christmas programming on tv.
(my beloved crimson tide playing like smell-o-vision against the my least favorite team ever,ever,ever, utah.)

i only wish that the powers that be would have shown my personal fave, "a very brady christmas".

10. the powers that be did grant thomas a little bit of time off to spend with us. books were read. messes were made. giggles were heard. general merriment was made.

and big T did have the most outstanding(and paycheck earning) talent at the talent show, presenting the six key causes of the credit meltdown in less than two minutes. how many of you can do that? there were no pictures taken because i was in utter shock at his financial whiz-iness.



11. visiting the Christus statue and the display of nativities at the independence visitor's center. there were over 300 nativities on display and my children didn't touch a single one of them.

12. i received my first nativity set ever. i love it. it is from my aunt ana in texas. i cried when i opened it. i have wanted one of these for so long. how do you teach your children the true meaning of christmas without a nativity?

my twelve loves of christmas, 5-8

5. family talent(or untalent) show

heather and mom played something wonderful,

steve and sarah amazed us with their guitar and singing talents. they were so good that i was embarassed to go next.

i busted out the violin and played the theme from schindler's list. because that just screams merry christmas.

mark and dad did a combo number with david holding the music. that david is so talented.

6. reading the christmas story in luke 2.

GHOST HANDS!!!

7. eating/family time-they are pretty much the same thing

this is what happens when you can't read and you decide to make pancakes and haven't showered and have your picture taken with your sarah palin glasses:

huge pancakes and a greasy, scary face. just like denny's!

scarlett eating ice cream. and then pouring it on her head. i don't like to brag, but she is definitely my daughter.

what everyone did whilst mother, heather, thomas and i slaved away preparing the meals!

reagan couldn't take anymore family time. he was unrevivable.

and this picture is just funny. feel free to slap your knee.
artistic, photojournalistic and realistic.

my twelve loves of christmas, 2-4

2. slipper socks. it is not christmas until i open a pair from my mother. this has been a tradition for as long as i can remember. except, when i was little i received booties. but not booty, mind you; a little junk in the trunk was not on my christmas list. too bad i got some anyway. santa is so generous. pirate booty would be fun too.

3. holiday parties. big T and i went to a sooperfun party where we were taught to make sushi. i was a pro. next time i go to a pet shop, those fish better watch out. raw fish are no match for me. plus, i got to wear my fantasticamazing chinatown top!

4. gingerbread houses. don't let that box fool you, this house was made from scratch.

my twelve loves of christmas, number 1

my christmas card door!!! few things make me more excited than posting my christmas cards on the door in my living room. especially christmas letters. the longer and more detail oriented the better. (except for the one time i read about sister X's decision to finally stop breastfeeding after nearly 17 straight years. different children, of course. breastfeeding a 17 year-old would take forever.) i take great pleasure in reading the 7 page, 10 point font discourse of your family activities from the past year. seriously. i experience unreal glee as i tape the letter with the *gasp* picture card next to it onto my door. what did we do before picture cards??? sometimes when the kids are asleep and i am enjoying the glow from the christmas tree and a hothothot cup of cocoa in my 54 oz mug, i will wander over to the door and stare. i'll reread your funny witticisms and take notes of ideas that i will steal from your letters so that i may covertly slip them into my letter for next year. i'll rearrange the cards for a more aesthetically pleasing layout. occasionally, i will shed a tear. christmas is a truly magical time of year. and it makes me rhyme without even trying. thomas usually has to ask me to take the card display down. by march the cards are drooping and many of you have already added more children to your flock. and then i start anticipating next years cards.