Sunday, August 29, 2021
Jesus loves Blythe
Friday, August 06, 2021
Fatherhood: an Eternal Partnership
"When does a joke become a Dad joke? When it becomes apparent!"
Best Father's Day wishes to all the men and I hope you enjoy your Father's Day gifts whether they be new ties, #1 Dad mugs, cargo shorts, nose hair trimmers, or bulky white foam reebok sneakers. You deserve it all!
Because we have a Father in Heaven and we are His children, Satan has made it his number 1 goal to destroy the family in any way possible. That has been his goal from the beginning. We read in Moses 5:18 about how Satan influenced Cain into making an improper offering to the Lord. Cain chose to offer the fruit of the earth to the Lord rather than the requisite sacrificial lamb. Satan convinced Cain that he could choose whatever he wanted to be the sacrifice. This improper offering resulted in Cain being more angry at the Lord and further disconnected from his family. Verse 27 we learn that Adam and Eve mourned greatly because of Cain and his brethern. We know from that verse that Cain's decisions are not only affecting himself but also the brethren he was influencing. Later in verses 29 and 30 we read exactly how Satan lays his traps:
"And Satan said unto Cain: Swear unto me by thy throat, and if thou tell it thou shalt die; and swear thy brethren by their heads, and by this that thy father may not know it; and this day will deliver thy brother Abel into thine hands.
And Satan sware unto Cain that he would do according to his commands. And all these things were done in secret."
Satan makes them swear to secrecy(and we know that friends don't make secrets and secrets don't make friends) and the brethren that followed Cain are also sworn to secrecy, even unto death and then Satan makes the most important caveat, "and this that thy father may not know it". In other words, DON'T TELL YOUR DAD. Why was it so important that Cain not talk to his father? Because Adam would have talked Cain out of it. Adam loved his sons, even when his sons were making poor choices. But therein lies the rub, Adam, like a good father, would have stopped Cain and helped him work out his problem. There is no such thing as too late but Satan knows if we believe enough of his lies, we will isolate ourselves from the people who love us the most. Satan loves to flatter and then make you feel isolated, as we see here in verse 31:
And Cain said: Truly I am Mahan, the master of this great secret, that I may murder and get gain. Wherefore Cain was called Master Mahan, and he gloried in his wickedness.
We know the end of this story. Cain is trapped by Satan's lies. Cain and his followers were cast out and continued to live in wickedness.
We can contrast this story with Genesis 22, the story of Abraham and his much longed for and much prayed for son, Isaac. The son that he and Sarah had hoped and prayed for until they were both very old. In verse 2 we read,
"Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land or Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of."
So God is asking Abraham to sacrifice the most important thing, the long awaited son, Isaac. And what does Abraham do? The most dad-like thing ever, they get up early the next morning for the road trip with plans to carry out this sacrifice. How great is the faith of Abraham, he just packs up his travel gear and does this. There is no verse describing any anguish in this decision but I'm sure there was. They do travel for 3 days to the place of sacrifice so he certainly has a lot of time to think and anguish this decision over too. 3 days to think of any way out. Verse 6 states,
"And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering, and laid it upon Isaac his son; and he took the fire in his hand, and a knife; and they went both of them together."
In our modern day perspective, Abraham has laid out all the evidence for a murder crime scene. Isaac even asks at this point, "Dad, you've got all your tools, where's the lamb?" Do you think Isaac is starting to sweat it at this point or does he trust his father's faith in the Lord? Abraham responds, "God will provide himself a lamb for the offering" and they continue toward the altar that Abraham had built. Things even progress to the point that Isaac is now tied up and laying on the altar and Abraham has his knife in hand. Only then, at the pinnacle of Abraham's faithfulness does an angel appear and the ram in the thicket is revealed. What do we learn about the Father's love at here? This feels like a very tricky math problem. How do we show the utmost love for our children? We show the utmost love for our children by following the commandments of the Lord. As we read this account, how many of us were devising getaway plans so that Abraham wouldn't have to sacrifice his son? Of course! Absolutely! But, the Lord asks for the most personal sacrifices. We will all have at least one Abrahamic test in our lives. However, if we are faithful there is always a ram in the thicket. We can contrast this with Cain's improper sacrifice of giving what he wanted to give rather than what he was asked to give. Because of this Cain spent the rest of his days in wickedness and misery. Abraham and his posterity were promised great things because Abraham loved the Lord the most. Genesis 26 verses 3,4,5:
"Sojourn in this land, and I will be with thee, and will bless thee; for unto thee, and unto thy seed, I will give all the countries, and I will perform the oath which I sware unto Abraham thy father;
And I will make thy seed to multiply as the stars of heaven, and will give unto they seed all these countries; and in they seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed;
Because that Abraham obeyed my voice, and kept my charge, my commandments, my statues, and my laws."
Satan is even busier in our modern times, trying to destroy families and turn children away from their fathers. While the Lord has fulfilled his promise to Elijah to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, Satan has devised new tricks to diminish and make obsolete the paternal and patriarchal role. Oftentimes we hear the phrase, "smash the patriarchy" in an effort to call out injustices that have been perpetuated against women. Consider this, if we smash the patriarchy, we are also smashing the matriarchy, as the patriarchy and matriarchy are an eternal partnership. We have a Heavenly Father so there is no doubt there is a Heavenly Mother. 1 Corinthians 11:11 reads, "Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord." When we remove the phrase, "in the Lord," therein lies the destruction of the family. Should we work to put an end to unfairness against women and children in this world? Absolutely. The reality is is that's it's not the patriarchy that is the problem. It's the removal of the Spirit that leads to unrighteous dominion. The Father of all Lies would have us believe we are better off without mothers and fathers rather than repairing and improving the roles and inviting the Spirit into the relationship of fathers and mothers. Consider a pair of scissors. Are both blades exactly the same? No! But each blade compliments the other. Each blade is sharp, each blade has a handle, each blade is cut to fit tightly with the other in order to pull the paper evenly and create a precise cut. If we took the two blades apart and tried to cut paper with each blade independently, there would be no joint mechanism to the pull the paper forward and you would have a big mess of paper and a jagged mess of a finished project. This is in direct conflict with the ways of the Lord. Our attempts at righteousness often feel muddled and messy, but as we strive to become like our Savior Jesus Christ, "He will fill every valley, He can make crooked things straight, He can make rough ways smooth." (Luke 3:5)
I'll close with an anecdote from my personal life. Herschel has been playing on a T ball team this spring. It's started out on the wrong foot and has been pretty close to a disaster a few times. It wasn't well organized and none of the coaches had any baseball experience or coaching experience and we were struggling to have proper equipment or even get most of the parents to show up. There was no leadership and everyone felt overwhelmed by the task. It was mostly a few moms and a bunch of unruly kids. I'm the first person to say a mom is as equally qualified to coach a baseball team as a dad, so do not misinterpret my meaning. What changed is several of the dads started showing up to games to assist the moms. We went from the Bad News Bears, to one of the better teams in the league simply because our kids were getting plenty of support. We had a parent at every base. We had a huge cheering section of moms and dads who were cheering for each child by name. We had a dad who took over the role of batting coach. We had a dad who took over the role of pitching coach. We had a mom in charge of the batting lineup. We had a mom making sure every kid was running at the right time. Our most recent game was borderline magical because our team was significantly more confident. Our team almost looked like they were playing baseball! I know it was because our kids felt like they were a priority.
Heavenly Father's plan has always told us we are His priority. He gave each one of us the sacred role of the Mother and the Father, whether we bare children or not. Elder Jeffery R. Holland said, "Dads, is it too bold to hope that our children might have some portion of the feeling for the that the Divine Son felt for His Father? Might we earn more of that love by trying to be more of what God was to His child? In any case, we do know that a young person's developing concept of God centers on characteristics observed in that child's earthly parents."
I close thinking of my own father and so grateful to his dedication to the gospel and my husband who is a father and the partnership we have together in raising our children. Nothing brings us closer together and more dependent on the Savior Jesus Christ, who did His Father's will, than our roles as mother and and father of our home.
Friday, March 26, 2021
spring emergence
last night I spoke at my ward's annual relief society birthday celebration. It was our first official Relief Society face to face gathering since the lockdown 1 year ago. I had intended to speak on the origin and importance of the Relief Society, but on Tuesday morning when I got up for the gym, the ideas for this talk flowed into outline form on the notes apps of my phone. It's fun when the Spirit intervenes and says, "let's just do it the easy way this time instead of belaboring everything like you normally do." Later I was able to follow my notes and I wrote this short talk about renewal:
This past
year we experienced an overwhelm of all things. We had an incredibly divisive
presidential election, murder hornets, uncontrollable wildfires, heartbreaking
civil unrest among our fellow Americans due to increasing racial tensions, and
a worldwide pandemic which brought about fear, death, loneliness, food
shortages, job loss and high levels of uncertainty. Also, few of our personal,
private trials took the year off. Despite our different walks of life, there was one thing to unite us and that was our grief.
As spring
is here and Easter is approaching, I want to focus on renewal. Our dormant plants
are coming back to life, and our dormant country is reopening and our dormant
social lives are re-emerging. Easter is the celebration of renewal, that Jesus Christ
lived again and so can we. Our world has new rules, new language and sadly new
divisions. But the Lord’s commandments are the same. Despite and because of our
differences, love one another.
While the world was dormant, what were the things you discovered were essential? Did you learn the importance of food storage? Did you realize how
much you enjoyed personal scripture study? Did your spirituality drop off because of the inability to congregate for church at a chapel? Did you learn how much more you
needed and how much more you can live without? Did the prophecies from the prophet
Russell M Nelson strengthen your testimony? Did you witness miracles? Did the Spirit
prompt you to change your life? This time a year ago, I had a completely different
life. I lived far away in a big city with everything that I thought I needed in
my life. I had prayed for many years for the blessings that I very much enjoyed at that
time. Then my husband got terribly sick with Covid 19 and we made a sharp re-evaulation
of our life. How much of our lifestyle was
keeping us from progressing to the type of familial relationships we were missing out on? I had a very powerful spiritual experience that led
us to take a leap of faith and pack up our house, move a month later and
walk into the unknown. Are we ready to walk into the unknown of this new and re-emerging
world?
The poet
Dino Christianopolis wrote, “what didn’t you do to bury me, but you forgot I was
a seed”
In the
past year we have been buried and rained upon and left alone in what feels like
impenetrable darkness. How did we respond to it? Did we choose to enjoy the nutrients
in the soil that we thought so confining? Will we allow the rain to cleanse our
impurities and strengthen our testimonies? Will embrace the smelly fertilizer
of adversity to make us into the strong, fruitful bloom that we know that we
are? Will we push through the dense soil and bask in the light of the Son of
God?
In 4th Nephi, we read that the Nephites and Lamanites, bitter sworn enemies are all
converted unto the Lord. In verse 2, “all people were converted unto the Lord…and
there were no contentions and disputations among them, and every man did deal
justly one with another.” Verse 15 states that “there was no contention in the
land, because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people.” Verse
17, “nor any manner of Ites; but they were in one, the culture of Christ, and
heirs to the kingdom of God.”
In our most recent General Conference,
we heard from Elder William K Jackson of the Seventy. “Many of our world’s
problems are a direct result of clashes between those of differing ideas and
customs arising from their culture. But virtually all conflict and
chaos would quickly fade if the world would only accept its original culture,
the one we all possessed not so very long ago. This culture dates back to our
premortal existence. It was the culture of Adam and Enoch. It was the culture
founded on the Savior’s teachings in the meridian of time, and it is available
to all women and men once again in our day. It is unique. It is the
greatest of all cultures and comes from the great plan of happiness, authored
by God and championed by Christ. It unites rather than divides. It heals rather
than harms.”
Now
that we emerging from the past year, what is your maintenance plan for the
important lessons that have been thrust upon us? Will you call your ministering
sisters and just check on them? It doesn’t have to be a hard-hitting gospel question
and answer session. What questions would you ask a friend? Will you reach out
to family members who are difficult to love? Will you look at your friendship circle
and enlarge it into a shape you don’t recognize so that all sorts and kinds fit
in it? Will you be kinder to yourself as you are still blooming and growing? Will
you stop criticizing the type and shape and size and color of flower that you
are and stop the cycle of negative self-talk for the next generation of flowers
that are watching you?
Sisters,
I’m grateful for spring, for the opportunity for daily renewal through repentance, for the beauty of new growth, for an all knowing Gardner that keeps
being patient and continually tends to me.
Thursday, March 18, 2021
broken things to mend
I spoke in our church congregation a couple of months ago and I wanted to share my talk here for my kids to read down the road. My topic was the healing power of Christ's atonement. Listed at the top are the General Conference talks I referenced.
The Healing Power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ Christine Franco
Broken Things to Mend Jeffery R Holland
Strengthened
by the Atonement Dallin H Oaks
I
love speaking in church and not just because I enjoy speaking into a
microphone, I enjoy speaking because it is an opportunity to share the
culmination of numerous seemingly minor spiritual thoughts and promptings. Many
of the thoughts I’m sharing today are things I have been pondering for as long
as 25 years and as recent as this week. The joy in writing and talk is seeing
how the Lord is truly guiding us at all times, if we are simply listening.
Things
I’m going to talk about today include:
The
difference between the Atonement healing us from our sins and healing us from
our infirmities and weaknesses and struggles
Kintsugi
or making broken things gold
The
definition of the word succor
My
college boyfriend
When
we think of using the Atonement of Jesus Christ in our lives, we almost always
consider how we need to repent from our sins. The blood of the atonement washes
away our sins. That is a predominant use of it because we cannot enter back in
the presence of the Father with sins. We should be using the Atonement of Jesus
Christ to repent every day to repair damage from our frailties and weaknesses. What
do we feel when we hear the word repentance?
Personally, I’ve had times in my life when I’ve thought of repenting and
it has sounded like this REPENTANCE! Complete with tarnation and damnation and
pulpit pounding. However, when we understand the nature of Jesus Christ and
Heavenly Father, we realize that we should be referencing repentance like this Repentance!
Complete with angels and harp trills and birds singing. Sadly, too many of us
have been conditioned to think that repentance is solely a painful and
arduous task. Certainly there are times when our souls require a reckoning and
coming to terms with the work to be done can be embarrassing and a struggle,
but it is Satan, not Jesus Christ who want you to believe it is an impossible
task.
Sometimes
when I am hungry or not feeling well, Thomas, being a very brave man, will tell
me I need to eat something or take medicine so that I’ll feel better but I’m
always resistant to it. I’m FINE, I insist. Everyone else is the problem! Not
me! But eventually when I do remedy the situation through a healthy solution, I
FEEL BETTER. So much better that I wish I had done something about it sooner.
Repentance is a joyful medicine and nourishment to our souls. Often, we just
need to get the ball rolling to start feeling better.
We often use the Atonement to repair the same
sins over and over again. But we know that the power of the atonement fixes all
things and Hebrews 8:12, “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness,
and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more”. Truly. We
know this. However, because of the nature of mortality, there are things in this
life that will not be fully repaired until the resurrection. These things can
feel broken because of our choices or the way God created us. Some things have
consequences that are with us even after we’ve fully repented. The healing
power of healing of Jesus Christ isn’t a magic wand or a time machine. A key
aspect of repentance is the beauty of healing.
One
of my favorite things is collecting artwork and I’m especially partial to Asian
artwork. One of my favorite types of art is pottery. I collect plates and I
display them on the walls of my home. As is the nature of happy families,
sometimes my plates fall off the wall and get broken. Normally, because I favor
decorative plates from goodwill and secondhand stores, I toss the broken plate.
However, I have a few plates that I’m holding onto in case I ever get a
kintsugi repair kit. Kintsugi is the Japanese
art of putting broken pieces back together with gold, built upon the idea that
in embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger more
beautiful piece of art. The value of the item then goes up because of the gold
kintsugi repair. Go ahead and google it. It’s beautiful and I feel a very apt
representation of our lives. We are mortals and we will be broken, but because
of our divine heritage and the price paid by our Savior Jesus Christ, we can be
put back together with gold. I’ve never bought a kintsugi kit because it is
very expensive, however, the healing of the Atonement has already been paid for
and it is a priceless experience.
So
my question to you, how do I my repair my challenges with the Savior and make
them gold? How can we look at past sin and struggle and heartbreak and
recognize that they can become some of our most beautiful parts?
“The
first words Jesus spoke in His majestic Sermon on the Mount were to the
troubled, the discouraged and downhearted. “Blessed are the poor in spirit,” He
said, “for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” JRH
He
later declares, ““Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and
I will give you rest.
“Take
my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye
shall find rest unto your souls.”2
For
example, the Apostle Paul declared that because the Savior “hath suffered being
tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted” (Hebrews
2:18). Similarly, President James E.
Faust taught, “Since the Savior has suffered anything and everything that we
could ever feel or experience, He can help the weak to become stronger.” DHO
There
are several definitions for the word succor, including to give relief or to
give aid but my favorite translation for the word succor is “to run to”. It is
very powerful to envision the Savior Jesus Christ running to you when you cry
out to him, But that is exactly how it works.
As
the Psalmist declared, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord
delivereth him out of them all” (Psalm
34:19).
Other
things that we may need to heal from include things in our lives that don’t
feel broken because they are exactly how God made us, but may not be in harmony
with God’s plan. Other things may be exactly how God made us but are still
really hard. Many of us have actually been blessed with this type of trial,
though it may not always feel like a blessing.
When
I was 15 years old, I felt very strongly that there was something wrong with me
that could only be fixed by achieving the world’s view of “perfect body” and by trying to be very thin. I was always
thinking about ways to be thin. Comments from society and even family members
gave me incredible anxiety and a preoccupation with food and I continued to greatly
struggled with disordered eating for the next 25 years. However, at age 15 I
also recall feeling a morsel of light in my struggle that I feasted on when I
was hurting. I was studying my scriptures and the thought crossed my mind that
Jesus Christ didn’t know how it felt to be a 15 year old girl like me. Then I
had a prompting that was quite the opposite. The Spirit confirmed to me that I
was wrong. Alma 7:11 reads, “And he shall go forth, suffering pains and
afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be
fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his
people” I was in pain and He understood completely and loved me infinitely.
How is the gold to me? The experience of making this realization is gold to me.
The
healing power of the Atonement applies to big things and little things. All
things that matter to us matter to the Lord.
When
I was 21 I had a boyfriend in college who I thought was THE ONE. . Y’all, he
had a south African accent. That’s number 3 on the scale of world’s best
accents with midwestern being number 1 and closely followed by southern in 2nd
place. One night he unexpectedly broke up with ME and I was devasted. At church
that weekend I was still obnoxiously inconsolable and I was crying my face off
during relief society. The poor girl next to me was awkwardly patting my back
while probably praying for someone to pull a fire alarm so that she could get
away. In my grief, I had prayed to simply feel some peace. My grief was
probably rather inconsequential to some of the real problems people were
experiencing in the world but what happened next was a clear message to me that
the Lord cared and that he was able to help me feel better. The closing song
was “Where can I turn for peace?” I knew that was the Lord’s message to me to
feel peace and also pull myself together. Heartbreak is often preparation for
us to make room for the Lord to do His work and provide us with something
better. Kynan breaking up with me was exactly what I needed to happen to I
could meet the true love of my life and eternity, Thomas. He’s the best thing
to happen to me since elasticized denim. No one wants to be told in the moment
of a truly trying experience that this is for the better. That’s probably the
quickest way to get a punch in face. 0-60 in one comment. Heartbreak is a tool
that can prepare us for something better, even if it takes a long time or the
next life. But if we live in a way where we let the Atonement comfort and heal
us, we will be blessed until we are able to fully realize our blessings.
As
I’ve grown older, my understanding of this concept has only multiplied.
As
I’ve tried to raise children, including two with special needs, the only way to
figure that out is to turn to the Lord. I’ve messed up a ton as a parent and
there is SO MUCH crying involved. Sometimes even by the kids. For a good part
of my parenting career I felt like every aspect of it was in the L column. Hardly
any Ws. There was a really long time that I prayed that this perceived trial
would be taken away from me, as if the most desirable solution was to avoid
pain and growth. The Lord had other plans. As I slowly repaired my broken perspective,
I have been able to see more clearly, what is truly gold in my life. While it
has been a rather slow and frustrating process of self discovery, some of the
cracks started to become fused with gratitude. I have a greater knowledge of
the love of our Heavenly Father. I’ve been able to be more patient in ways I
could never be without this perceived trial. I have learned what it means to give
something to the Lord. Sometimes I’ll even take my hands and wrap up a package
in the air and toss is heavenward and say, “here you go. I’ll do this if you
show up too”. If I give it Him, it doesn’t mean it’s a success by a worldly
standard, more often than not it simply means I’ll survive the experience and
be undaunted to try again even if it’s messy. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not
saying, “Lord, give me another trial and this time put some stank on it!” But,
the atonement of Jesus Christ has healed me of some unrighteous desires and
healed me from my lack of faith.
I’ll
close with some of the lyrics to Reagan’s favorite hymn, How firm a foundation
. When
through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My
grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The
flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy
dross to consume, thy dross to consume,
Thy
dross to consume and thy gold to refine
Monday, March 01, 2021
the most reluctant convert
On October 31, Athena Blythe became the newest member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
A few years ago when I was in our stake's Relief Society presidency, we did training with each unit on how to meet the needs of the individual sisters. Time was at a premium but I found an experience on a church social media account that I felt led by the Spirit to share in each ward. The quote was by a woman who was sharing her experience of not feeling like her family fit in to the regular church cookie cutter. She outlined her situation and pleaded that what she needed was for people to not be afraid or put off by their situation but to move in closer and as a sign of support. In her experience, the sister mentions that one situation in which we should move in closer is when a family has a child that does not want to be baptized. At the time I thought it was a strange and surely rare phenomenon to have a child not want to get baptized. Most kids just want to get baptized! As per usual, this spiritual message was more for me than for the sisters. In this case, my quote was a spiritual foreshadowing of Athena Blythe's baptism. Athena Blythe was not interested in getting baptized and nothing could persuade her. She was vocal and adamantly against the idea for well over a year before she turned 8! We tried everything; extra baptism lessons, attending as many baptisms as we could, NOT talking about it and seeing if the desire would happen anyway. Various (un)helpful people took it upon themselves(even after we repeatedly asked them not to) to try and convince her by mentioning all the pomp and circumstance aspects of a baptism ceremony, but to my actual relief she rebuffed these people too. I certainly didn't want Athena Blythe to want to get baptized because there was going to be a party for her. Parties and cake have their place but the message of the baptism can easily get lost in the cultural pageantry surrounding baptisms. Athena Blythe will not do anything that is not 100% her idea, which thrills me that she will not easily cave to peer pressure but her obstinate and persistent nature makes her nearly impossible to live with when she is perseverating on a concept. When she finally decided to get baptized 6 months after her 8th birthday, I knew it was because she was ready and had a bit of an understanding of what she was doing.
my sister in law, shayla, is an incredibly gifted gift giver. she just knows how to make things thoughtful and lovely. she sent athena blythe these delightful cookies.
Tuesday, September 15, 2020
this could become a habit
Movin' right along in search of good times and good news,
With good friends you can't lose,
This could become a habit!
Opportunity knocks once let's reach out and grab it (yeah!),
Together we'll nab it,
We'll hitchhike, bus or yellow cab it
straight to the point, i'm great at packing and moving. i could definitely share my expertise with others who have not made 8 large scale moves and several more small moves in 18 years. i'm pretty good at pulling together a timeline of tasks and weeding out the junk and collecting boxes. i don't think my expectations are too high concerning what should be happening at certain junctures of the moving day. however, this was going to prove to be the worst move of all the moves we've done.
in order to avoid a play by play of the moving day atrocities, i'll do some quick bullet points:
*we interviewed and booked movers who came highly recommended by neighborhood people and they had done a few hauling projects for us previously so we felt good about that. we booked moving and packing and cleaning services. we discussed the moving day timeline and the movers agreed that our plan of attack was not going to be a problem.
*i felt anxious about the time frame so i went ahead and packed 90% of our stuff beforehand to make the day of festivities go smoothly. we had several dear, sweet friends help along the way. we moved the majority of the basement stuff and bedroom stuff to the main floor and garage.
*my worries were not unfounded as the movers showed up 2 and a half hours late with a single uhaul truck, the crew foreman plus only 3 scrawny, first time movers. we had planned on being almost completely loaded by noon. it was 11:30. (how i know i'm not being unreasonable: when we moved from lawrenceville to dacula, we had the first truck loaded, driven across town and unloaded in 2 hours. that's the kind of efficiency i'd come to expect from professional movers.)
*they brought 10 boxes total for packing. TOTAL.
*the crew foreman announced upon arrival that the movers should take all the breaks they needed throughout the day.
*they(all 4) took 1 hour to dismantle a bunk bed that took thomas 1 hour to put together himself.
*thomas went to get another uhaul because he knew the one they brought would not be enough. he was concerned that the truck retrieval process took too long and the movers would be waiting on him. nope, after 3 hours, the truck was not even 1/3 of the way filled and they were taking a lunch bunch. it was preceded by a long water break and followed up with a smoke break.
*i went to home depot and bought a boatload full of boxes for the last 10% of stuff that needed to be packed. THEY DID NOT PACK A SINGLE THING, despite our agreement for moving AND packing. i packed like a woman possessed. packing is the only thing that kept me out of jail that day. my wonderful friend lindsay and her girls surprised us to say goodbye, saw our predicament and pitched in without being asked and did more packing and organizing than the movers.
*by 5 o'clock, they were finishing up the first truck and needed to go to dinner.
*our whole family went to our favorite mexican restaurant because we knew we weren't going to get out of town in any sort of reasonable time. we were an embarrassing level of disgusting and sweaty and a messy from all our hard work. i fought back tears the entire meal.
*our dear friends, paula and logan, took our kids for the evening since we STILL weren't on the road at 7.
*one of the movers asked me if i wanted the box with the TV in it taped shut. read that again.
*thomas had to help the professional movers attach the car dolly to the back of the moving truck in the dark.
*they were finally "done" at 10pm that night. not really, because there was so much stuff still left in the house so thomas and i made the decision to make the 5 hour trek again at a later date and come back and finish up by ourselves.
*we headed to a hotel, both of us so mad at the whole situation we could chew fire. we had planned on being in waycross by evening and have the moving trucks arrive sometime later that night.
*we got on the road early the next morning and made it to waycross around noon.
*the people who lived in our house previously were renters and they left the house a mess and had allowed the AC unit to flood the ceiling. my mother in law was there cleaning like the dickens so that we didn't have to put our stuff on top of other people's filth.
*the movers were unloading when we got there but instead of putting things in the assigned rooms they were just dumping everything in the garage or dining room.
*the movers refused to move the bonus room couch upstairs because said they could not get the couch through the door. they claimed that they "measured it with a shoe" and knew it would not fit. we just wanted them out of our lives at this point so we had them leave it in the garage.
*later that week, thomas and a friend moved the couch up the stair and through the door with ZERO PROBLEMS.
*at the end of move in day, i was hiding in our closet because i could not ever bear to make eye contact with these movers anymore. they were also avoiding thomas because he was about to spit nails and he's quite physically intimidating. we paid them and they left and i burned sage to cleanse the house of their presence.
*instead of doing a fun overnight trip to the beach for our 18th anniversary, just thomas and me, we drove up to atlanta to get the rest of the stuff out of our house and returned the SAME DAY. 5 hours one way, 5 hours back.
*we stopped at a peach farm on the way.
*we unavoidably sat in this typical atlanta traffic:
*dear sweet paula came at a moment's notice with her girls to help up clean up the house really quick so we could get it under contract, since the aforementioned cleaning team NEVER SHOWED UP. they did have the gall to text me three weeks later to see if we still needed that cleaning service. the movers also left behind their uhaul dolly and a fancy tape measure, which they clearly didn't even need since they measured my couch in SHOE LENGTHS. the movers texted me about both the dolly and the tape measure but they are now mine forever.
*late night in butts county, georgia with all the stuff the movers left behind in our uhaul.
*how the TV in our living room looks after the move:
*my back patio for the past two months, including the piles of junk the previous tenants left behind:
*but we're here and everything is fine and everything will be fine because everything has always been fine because of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
THE END
Wednesday, August 26, 2020
where in the world is heidi san diego?
Now, this is story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Pull out my floss
I'll tell you how i became the Queen of a town called
Waycross
when i last posted in may, we had only decided the day before that we would be moving to waycross. but even just a few days before that we would have been incredulous if you said that in 5 weeks we would have sold our house, packed up everything and moved 5 hours south to thomas's hometown. i still can't believe it today except for the fact that i packed up most everything myself and i'm sitting at a new table, in a new kitchen, in a new house looking out the window at my new crepe myrtle trees.
after thomas recovered from his covid ordeal we were able to take stock of what a blessing of sorts quarantine had been for us. sure, having everything shut down and the constant fear of illness and a free-falling economy have been less than ideal, but for the first time in our marriage, we were all together. since thomas's office was closed, he didn't have to suffer through an 1 1/2 hour commute each way through horrific traffic. we ate lunch together. we had moe's mondays! we ate dinner together. every day! we worked out in the garage in our makeshift, ramshackle gym. we really enjoyed each other's company. can home really be a heaven on earth? especially during these trying times? indeed it can! i liken it to the scripture in alma 50 during the war chapters when Moroni and the people are in almost constant preparation and fortification against an inevitable attack from the Lamanites. in verse 19, "and thus we see how merciful and just are the dealings of the Lord, to the fulfilling of all his words unto the children of men" and verse 22, "And those who were faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord were delivered at all times" and finally, verse 23, "but behold there never was a happier time among the people of Nephi, since the days of Nephi, than in the days of Moroni". how was it possible that through all this work and trial that they were so happy? i concur, after the march and april that i had, how was it possible that i felt such peace and happiness in such uncertain times? there were many times during thomas' illness that i went to my basement guest room where i was sleeping and cried from exhaustion and fear. there were many times that put my face into a pillow and railed at the unfairness of it all. you know those people who have hard times thrust upon them but they don't complain? i am certainly not one of them. WHY ME??? nevertheless, each and every time i read my scriptures and prayed, there was peace. i spent a lot of time reading Saints volume 2 and there were several key passages that buoyed me up in time of trial, particularly when the saints are trying to settle the salt lake valley and they were starving to death. i was especially touched when i read of the cricket infestation and Stake President John Smith wrote, "The Lord led us here and He has not led us here to starve." the Lord led us through quarantine and we would not starve temporally or spiritually.
"but heidi, that's lovely and all but how does all this get you to waycross?"
oh dear reader, i'll tell you. as soon as georgia state laws allowed thomas' office to reopen, thomas' boss had the building sanitized and everyone was expected back in the office. that was the catalyst for change in our family. after a few weeks resuming working and commuting after having known how wonderful family time can be, thomas said enough was enough. but what was the solution? we had everything we ever prayed for in gwinnett county. we loved our house, we had a great ward, we had an incredible school district that had served all of our children so well. but we also had a very hectic life and we only saw thomas on weekends and even that was limited because of callings and activities.
thomas has a friend in waycross who had a small, thriving law practice. they bounced ideas off of each other from time to time and even referred business to each other. brandon had offered thomas a partnership many times but it was never something he was interested in. thomas would tell me about it but i never thought anything about it. we have moved enough in our family to know that we were certainly not seeking out opportunities to move. however, brandon was serious enough to keep bringing it up and it was an idea thomas was becoming amenable to because of our covid experience. i said flat out no! for so many reasons, but really because moving is the worst. i'm a level 1000 moving expert now and i'd rather have my house burn down than move again. but i did say i'd pray about it. that was on a friday night. saturday morning i said another prayer for good measure before i went on my morning run. the first portion of every run i listen to a conference talk. that day's particular talk was "Called of God" by Elder L. Tom Perry from the october 2002 general conference. it was simply the next talk in the queue of conference talks. as the talk progressed i started punching the air in front of me because of how perfectly it answered my prayer, but it was also not the answer i wanted. but i listened and i tried to be humble and accept the answer. most of the time i don't receive lightning bolts of personal revelation, but i did that morning. at one point of his talk, elder perry tells a story of his family moving for his new job and trying to decide which house to buy. they found a house that they all really liked but elder perry discovered that the commute was 1 1/2 hours each way, the same as thomas' commute. i'm sure people who saw me running that day thought i was having a seizure as i ran and shook my head back and forth and shouted "NO! NO! NO!"
as the story continued, elder perry gave the decision of which house to buy up to his children.
“You can have either this house or a father,” I said. Much to my surprise they responded, “We will take the house. You are never around much anyway.”
that is how i knew we were supposed to move to waycross. the Lord laid it out for me in simple terms. it was a lightning bolt of revelation. i could not deny that i prayed and asked for an answer and received an answer. i knew that even though this talk was given in october 2002, the Lord knew it was the answer i would need on may 16th 2020. His timing is perfect. had i not been pleading for years for a way for us to spend more time with thomas? did i finally receive it? and now that i had tasted that wonderful time with thomas, did i only want more? was the answer to move to a tiny, rural town and have thomas open up his own practice, complete with 10 minute commute? i knew it, i knew God knew it and i could not deny it. so i finished my run and walked in the door and i said to thomas, "we can do this". we went down the waycross the following weekend and picked out our house.
not the house we bought but i loved it so much. someday it will be mine!
the house we actually bought:
there are many details that i'm leaving out that i'm sure i'll cover in future posts but once i received and accepted the answer, there was no going back and everything worked out. it was such a busy, hard 5 weeks but the Lord keeps his promises. i felt carried by Him many, many times.
having been here 2 months now, atlanta feels like a lifetime ago. it is certainly my old life. as hard as it has been on all of us to move, there is no looking back. i choose to be grateful and i try to laugh when i feel like crying(which is often) but the Lord has not brought us here to starve. i still miss aldi very much though.